Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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Has anyone ever called/delt with Cps?

Mellody
Mellody
I am really thinking about calling Child protective services on a family member, but i am concerned about the effects this would cause to the kids and the mother, does anyone know the process of what happens after you call and what happens when the kids are taken? can family visit the kids or can another family member get custody of them? has anyone had any experience or heard about the foster care system? i always hear about kids being abused and horrible things happening in foster care i don't want to take them out of one bad situation and put them in another they are girls so its really a huge consern. I have good reason to call but the mother maybe suicidal and the kids are 5 years apart i do not know if they will be kept together i'm just really scared i really don't want to make things even worst. I know it will be very traumatic for them because they love their mom very much and are attached to her but i really feel like sooner or later something really awful is going to happen if someone does not do something. On a scale from 1 to 10 this situation is at about a 7.5 this is something that will change so many lives my other family members only talk about it and they talk to her about it but after years of drug abuse she is just "not there" any more she just does not understand i think the years of drugs has really damaged her mentally. My family feels it would be a "stab in the back" to call i'm the only one who is really ready to call please give me some advice. Thanks in advance
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
ATG's being a bit harsh in my opinion. It was about calling CPS, not so much WHO. She thought she was the only one, but as it turns out, the aunt was, too.

Important thing is, the family (which I think is a lot worse than a 7.5!) is now on the radar screen.

At least she got the aunt to do it.

And since when is it wasting time if you post advice and someone doesn't take it to the letter? I think that's a bit arrogant of ATG. I don't think anybody's under any obligation to take our advice- we just offer our take on situations to help. And I thought we did.
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
In Mellody's defense, at least she's had the decency to post an update. How many others post something and then disappear, so we never know the outcome. THAT's more like wasting my time to me.

Thanks, Mellody. I hope you keep letting us know what happens with those kids. As long as they get out of that situation that's good and you know you had something to do with that, so keep your head high. You did good for a 22 year old or otherwise.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I will repeat what I told Mellody earlier:

" The thread here was about YOU calling CPS. That's why I shared my story and got involved on this thread. If I knew that you had no intention of calling them, I wouldn't have posted at all. So I'm not happy you wasted my time and I have that right."

This has nothing to do with arrogance or Mellody not "obeying" our advice. It's about posting here for something you have no intention of doing. Even you told her to go to the School in person. She didn't even do that.

Mellody responded to me and it's over and done with.
caneglect
caneglect
CPS has been called and engaged on several occasions on behalf of my grandson. Most notably, he "fell off a dog" and neither parent would allow him to go to the Dr (head injury), a "sexual encounter" with a very young child, being left home alone, the list goes on and on. I believe they did interview him at school (or so I heard.) I can only tell you that many people have called CPS regarding my GS's situation. DHSS is also involved. So far, he is still in the home. He is too scared to speak out and tell the truth. It is very, very sad but I still encourage those who strongly suspect child abuse and neglect to at least call and report it. Eventually, hopefully someone will care and will do something. We cant just sit back and knowingly let these children be neglected and abused. I will continue to be my GS's advocate, I am all he has!!!!
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
caneglect- that's horrible, but I believe it.

I've heard that as long as there's one can of food in the pantry and one outfit for the kid, running water and heat, that's enough to keep them there.

I get so angry... can't even begin.

Hugs, all.
tce66
tce66
I would report it. Each state has different guidelines for how these things are investigated. In the state I live in, a worker will contact with family within 72 hours and do an assessment. If they children's basic needs (food, clothing, shelter) are being met and there isn't physical injury, the family will be offered the opportunity to work a someone to help with parenting issues, referrals to parent education, rent assistance, counseling, etc...different supports that could help the family function better. If the worker does determine that neglect or abuse has or is taking place, it would immediately be referred to a child protection worker and they would proceed with that. It may or may not involve the children being removed from the home...it depends on the situation. At the very least, reporting it could actually help the family by connecting them to some additional supports that would improve their functioning and quality of life. In this case it does sound like there's some neglect going on and that there are safety issues so I would encourage you to report it.
Another thing you could do is drop off a meal or ask this family member if there's something you can do to help. If she's a single mom, maybe she's completely overwhelmed and could use some help. Being a single mom is tough...I did it but had awesome family support so I could get a break when I was overwhelmed.