I don't know how bad the situation is, but it's got to be REALLY bad for CPS to get involved. Do they have food? Housing? Do they have clothes? If so, as long as there's no abuse or delinquency of a minor, you may hit a dead end because they really want to keep families together and avoid foster care for the fears you state.

What are you alleging? Is it about the mother? If she's truly suicidal, she needs help, not her family to be taken away.

You can't bust up a family for fear of something that "might" happen; you have to prove that the children's BASIC needs aren't being met.

I'd get them into family counseling sooner than calling CPS...

I hope others chime in because I could be way off base, but that's my point of view right now.

yeah i get what your saying i hope other chime in as well because i hate to be the one stuck with this decision with no advice or support it's really stressful ..they do not always have food and the mother is always high so they just take care of themselves or do what they want the youngest was outside alone one time at night "looking for her mother" someone could have taken her she is just a kid that's so scary, they barely even go to school its really sad i feel their lives are being ruined.

Oaky... that's pretty severe. How old are the kids.

You'd think the school would have gotten involved on the truancy... Hey, that would be a way to alert somebody so you're not the bad guy. Tell their guidance counselor and the school can deal with it.

I had to call CPS on a neighbor. They were using punishment of locking their very young daughter outside their home at night. She was crying hard, screaming for her mom and yelling for help. I had fallen asleep on the sofa and it woke me up over the sound of TV.

I went out and found out from the child that was locked out. I went to the front door and the guy didn't answer and I began really banging at that door. The Dad who answered is from India or Pakistan and he immediately said she is okay and is being punished. I stood up to him and told him it is not okay and you can't punishment her by leaving her outside at night crying and screaming and yelling for help and so upset and you have to take her inside. The wife was behind him and saying nothing.

He repeated again and I told him she WAS going inside and she WAS not staying outside and it was not okay to leave her outside as punishment. It was not proper and is not done. He finally backed down and took her inside.

The next day I called CPS and they do a recorded statement over the phone. They were very polite and I explained what happened. It wasn't considered child abuse, but considered child

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but was considered I believe child neglect. I told them I didn't believe that the child should be taken away, but could they perhaps find some parenting classes that they couple could take to fully understand how to discipline their children more appropriately. CPS did contact them and that's apparently what happened.

You have to do for the kids. If a Mom is struggling with depression, CPS can arrange for counseling and so many things to help out. They can get the resources. And CPS needs to see that there's no food for the kids and that they don't have necessary things, don't have clean clothes or that the home is very dirty.

CPS needs to assign a caseworker and get out there and do a full evaluation and figure out what the best route is.

Right now you can't worry about what will happen with the girls as far as foster care and the future and instead you need to get the call to CPS and get them started and out there. It's definitely the right thing to do to call and the kids deserve you calling.

Wow, that's really brave of you, AsTime...

So many people would take the attitude of, "I don't want to get involved" or would fear retribution.

How were the neighbors after that? Did they talk to you?

If you take that route, Mellody, don't be surprised if you are shunned. But people do that out of embarrassment, so don't take it to heart.

Be it the school or CPS, it looks like you better do something.

I do it with my students all the time. I send an email of concern to guidance. Sometimes something happens. Most of the time, not. But at least I have a clear conscience that I did what I could and let the chips fall where they may.

Good luck and please update us!

Family services will usually try to place the kids with family first. Sounds like this mom may already be in the system if her kids are never in school. So your call would likely spark them to remove the kids.

The big question is are you or someone else in the family prepared to take the kids? If so you might try going to her and telling her to turn them over before you call. the goal is to get them safe. How it happens depends on her. Once the kids are safe you can go to family court to petition for custody.

Mellody, unless the other family members are ready to do an intervention and follow through with it then one adult in the family needs to stand up and ensure the children are in a safe and healthy environment.

CPS does not immediately charge to the home and remove children unless upon their arrival they find the living conditions and also the stability of the parents are a cause for concern. Once a report is made; they'll do an initial visitation to ascertain and make their own judgements; they'll then have a number of followup visits. And again, they DO NOT just walk in and take the children if there's just one report. Unless she's already under their radar and there have been numerous reports etc; this is the only circumstance where they'll come in and remove the children.

This mother has an obligation to get herself clean and healthy; this is not a subject for debate; the children and their welfare come first.

Maybe the first step is to have a family intervention and lay out some rules that if she doesn't do this in a certain amount of time, if she doesn't seek treatment etc. then the only other recourse will be CPS.

It's a start but I would give her no other avenue. A drugged up adult can not take care of their own needs, never mind a child who deserves to be taken care of.

I feel sorry for the mother but actions have consequences, it's just too bad that children are subjected to live this way because they can't fight for themselves and everyone around them that knows about the problems decide to look the other way.

Thanks so much you guys i really appreciate it!! the school has sent someone from the board of education over but i have no idea what happen because my sister was not there. The oldest one 14 has summer school because she failed everything from not going to her classes, but now she is not going to summer school either. I try to talk to her but she will do what her mother allows. I think i will talk to the school that's better to me thanks for suggestions i'm happy for your advice, but i do want to tell the school what to say when they call because i defiantly want to tell them what astimegoesby said about not taking them away but giving her parenting classes and having someone go and check on them from time to time, an adult can not be forced into a drug program where i live but i think if someone is over there all the time she will have no choice but to be sober, Also my mom did offer to take the kids while she went in a program but she said she is "fine" and does not need to go in a program so this really is a last resort. I feel so broken to be the one to do this its so scary because you never know what an addict will do. I think if the family got together and spoke to her i have a strong feeling she would go crazy and not speak to us and i'm not sure if she would harm her kids but i cant say that she wouldn't harm them, so thanks again for all your comments i don't feel as scared anymore being that i got some great info and advice i will keep you posted! i can not thank you all enough seriously!!!

I like pd2012 respond to your dilemma. Give her the option of her opening her eyes and seeing what she is doing to her kids, maybe even offer to take them while she gets herself commited to get help in getting of drugs, because they can not do it by themselves, as much as they may try to say or want that, drugs are very powerful. Also CPS is not immediately take the kids away, it has to be very bad, before they do anything. Yes the kids need help, but so does the mother. hope you can help them. peace and love.

You're welcome.

Just be aware that you may not be able to suggest HOW they proceed. Once you inform them, it may be out of your hands.

I agree Deli. Once you speak to the school, they have an obligation to inform authorities. Once the issue is brought out into the forefront, I don't think they give you choices of how to proceed. They have their own set of guidelines.

I think personally Mellody that you should be commended for having the responsible and kind heart to want to ensure that the mother and children are all kept together and everyone is well!

I hope this works out for your family. It's a very tough situation.

Hugs,
PD

I have no problem with the neighbors that I reported to CPS. In fact, I didn't see them for 2 weeks after I reported them. They weren't around at all. Then they came back and the girls weren't playing outside at all. Gradually the girls were outside and the man was staying away from me and that was okay because he already knew I wasn't going to put with him being a snot anyway.

On the other hand, his wife and the females of her family one day came to me after I got home and out of my car and all greeted me so warmly and were saying they were so happy to see me. A therapist who is from India or Pakistan explained it all that the females are many times under the thumb of the males even when it comes to discipline of the children, and it probably hurt the Mom so much to see her child locked outside the home but she had no say.

To see me, a woman who is disabled in an electric scooter so strongly confront her husband and refuse to accept what he was doing with his child--the wife was apparently grateful and told the rest of the many females in the family and they were all there to greet me when I arrived home one day.

The little girls smile and wave to me and I smile and wave to them. They're great kids and always have been. They also know I stood up for the one of them.

I have no tolerance for adults who mistreat kids. And that neighbor knows I will report him again if necessary.

PD has it right. One of my children works in CPS. They don't ride in on white horses to take children away. There are few foster homes for children and it is very damaging to them to be taken out of the home.

They try everything to keep children with parents. And they can tell when it is someone tryint to get revenge and when it is really an issue. They check out all complaints.

It is not the horrow we hear about in the news. Those cases are very few.

ATGB that's a great story. Glad you and your neighbors had such a great outcome.

If the mom is drunk all the time and not always feeding the children that's pretty bad.

I think if it were me I would go ahead and call CPS.