Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
my elderly aunt who is 85 had lived with her 82 partner for 22 years as she is partially sighted he has been doing all her finances. and going to the atm machine to get money for her. she became will about two months ago nothing life threatening but she was really down not wanting to live saying she was a burden etc basically because he was so nasty with her. anyway after a 3 week stay in hospital she was home for a week before this time going into a local rehabiltation hospital to try and get her walking again.her partner goes to his sons for a week. he came back the day before her birthday and told her it was over he was going back to his own house to live. (he has never given up his house while living with my aunt) but he would still be friendfs and come and see her. my aunt who was already really down was devastated. but asked me to stop the bank card he still had. which i did . i'll cut a long story short i offered to take over doing her finances paying bills etc which she said ok to. i went to her house to pick up her post and her bank statement was there. i had a shock when i opened it all these large cash withdrawals .now i'm in a dilema .my aunt is so desperate to try and win her partner back i dont think she will take any action . and he told her friend he was trying to get her bank card restarted for her. the hospital only told me yesterday her mental health had been accessed and she was ok. but i do know sometimes she gets confused. i did suspect he was finacially abusing her as he pays nothing towards bills etc and my aunt was paying him 50 a week to look after her which only involved a bit of shopping a picking up her meds once a week. but he still took his 50 a week during her stays in hospital. so i rang the safe guarding team who said i had to have my aunts permission to contact them which i know my aunt would say no to as she will do anything to protect this low life. my brother has lasting power of attorney and will be registering it today but it will take a few weeks. in the meanwhile this low life is persuading my aunt to get her bank card restarted. he has been going to see her everyday in hospital all lovey dovey holding her hand etc when we all know its just a act. i feel powerless . yes she has mental capacity but she is very frail and depressed and all she wants is this lowlife who can talk her round to anything he wants especially now as he knows shes desperate to have him move back in.
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
However, since she DID okay you to take over finances, you might be able to tell her that she's victim of identity theft and you need to safeguard her finances! So don't make it about him... make it about needing to protect her money from strangers!!! Then set up things so only YOU can access itl And make sure you get her permission in writing.
22 years together... What's the law regarding common law marriage in your part of the world? Does she have a will? This may be the time to see a lawyer and get her to put things down officially. This is just the tip of the iceberg, so you need to be on it.
But careful... if this guy is a manipulator, he may try to poison her against you. I'd do things very carefully and keep tabs on him. How are your finances??? Can you hire a PI to research this guy?