Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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luvmykidsmore 03/12/2012

Hi,

My wife passed away last year from breast cancer. During the four years that she had to endure the struggle, it is w/o exaggeration that her own brother and to some extent, mother, were abysmal is their support of either her or my own children...four years! When she passed away, it seemed to suddenly occur to them how important it was to have a relationship. Negligent aunt and uncle seemed to feel some newly found need to pretend to act like family....boy the crap I and my family have had to go through....anyway, they have made pitiful attempts (not even that really) to connect, but I am not ready to forgive them. In fact, I am not certain if I will ever be... the saddest part is that by cutting them off, their children and my own will not have a relationship. I wish there was a way to maintain this relationship w/o the parents, but, of course, that will not be reasonable. Anyone else in a similar situation? Advice? Each time I think of considering re-establishing a relationship I am reminded of their utter disregard for my family. They represent a very bad time in my life and I am convinced that we are BETTER (in the long term) off beginning anew w/o them. To top it off, they live in the same metropolitan area, so sad...

deleted_user 03/17/2012

Soccer, just becareful with your timing. My oldest are 13 and 12. The things they have been through unfortunately made them more mature and grown for their age. We have spent the past 4 years in therapy. I have made my mind up for my younger 2 children, they are 4 and 5, because they are to young to understand. With the older 2, they see the damage being done and decided themselves whom they want in their lives. I refuse to bad mouth anyone in front of the kids, but do teach my kids to actually watch and listen to ppl. When you think your kids are ready, maybe taking them to a few therapy sessions will help them understand where your coming from. I say this because the 4 years of therapy we have been doing is in part from my ex treating them like they were adults, talking with them way to early about adult life. It damaged them. Their brains and experiences werent developed enough to handle the topics, which included death, abandonment, and other topics. Kids are soooooooo smart im positive they see more than you think. No matter how much we try to protect them, they still see some. In the end, they will respect you more on how you handle this situation:-) therapy does help and can teach you how to talk to them on their level and teach you what to watch for, if it is bothering them :-)just and idea from my experience. Ill be glad when my situation gets better myself......we have an apponiment monday todeal with this. Til them ive blocked their number.

luvmykidsmore 03/17/2012

hi roxy,

I have been thinking of therapy as well. We seem to be doing very well, but one never really knows, right? Especially with children so young, 4 and 6 years of age. My children NEVER speak of my wife's family w/o some prompting...again, they are very happy and thriving. I will certainly not speak to my children about the failures of their uncle and aunt on my late wife's side of the family until they are old enough to ask and understand what it all means....this is where therapy would be helpful, huh?

It is a little interesting though...how my children do not ask about my wife's family...perhaps they are more aware than I give them credit for.

thanks for your words. I appreciate them and pray that you and your family find peace in all of this...

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