So now the thing is, i have to do a speech, says her. So even if I did, who are you to say I have to do annything. I don;t want my kid to be stuck in the middle, but he cut me out of his life for years and then I message him and he is in Freakin Florida with my sis and her family!! Thanks so much for the invitation!

I understand that you and your sister have a history of anonymous from what you're writing

However if you don't want it to effect your son and this important time in his life I would set it aside and put him first

If you're able to maybe get into some therapy to help you work out what you need to

I hear you that you two have a lot of pain in your history however she did step up and take care of your son and for that I'd say thank you

Anger is a secondary emotion so something has caused it ..... frustration, pain etc.... If you can get to the root cause you can find some help in healing for yourself and for your son.... Who knows maybe you and your sister can find a way to heal your rift

Stealing your art is definitely not cool

Big hug.......xo

There is also a Healthy Relationships board on here that may be of help to you....xo

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/healthy-relationships

That is awful. What do you need a neutral opinion on though?

that is terribly awful.. how do you manage all of the anxiety and stress that you are feeling?

Thanks very much for you comments. My story is so very long. I was a teenage mom. And the father took off, and I said fair thee well and got on with my life. My son and I moved home with my parents and I went to college and we stayed there, I got a really good job and we travelled far and wide every summer for about 10 years, Just he and I. Scuba diving was our fav. He had a wonderful life with a big support system. My sister was there also, annoying but nothing to worry about, Then he had a Dark Period teenager time and i was not cool to hang with anymore. Fine. Moves in with nutty girlfiend., etc. But then when he is over this spell, he is still there but distant. I had a boyfriend at the time and we did party quite a bit. But hey, no one else was around, Then my son is on a woe-is-me kick about not having a dad. MY dad raised him, so he did. I told him any old time he wanted to talk to his father, that was fine with me, So, then unknown to me at the time, my sister is chiming in his ear. saying I'm drinking too much, and partying. Poor son. Well I;m responsible., my sister tells him, you don't need this horrible mother who had you as a teenager and you have a terrible father who deserted you, poor thing. Come over to our house and we'll give you a stable home, Yes, she said that! I bought my poor neglected son a new imac and I had the password. So I read the messages she sent him. Right there. He went over to visit her for March Break and I was working from home so did not need my purse for a couple of days. Look inside and my bank card is gone! He took it and she must have known this was not his money. $1400.00 for a computer game system and games, She took him to get this! No one has ever said sorry or anything. It is like they think this is justified, So, the years pass and my son is polite, but we rarely see him. I Facebook him from time to time to see what's up. But he still is basically ignoring me. One day I FB him and he posts a picture of himself on this fabulous beach. So I say where are you? And he says I;m in Florida with my Aunt and her family. Really? Why wasn;t I invited? That's when I truly knew I was outsed .So, next year, same. Won't tell, I just find out, Same for years, Then I get a phonecall and my son is calling me from Florida once again, and he gives me the news that he has just proposed to his GF on the beach! So now my sister has HER there too! Then this year... get this... my son and his new wife are going on their honeymoon with my sister and her family in Florida. Although I had a huge part in the wedding, i think it was just for show, so my son would have a representitve there.
His wife basically ignores me, so I can only imagine what they have said about me! My sister and her husband are well known gossips. I make great material.
P.S, I know this is Therapist material, just writing it out to give to them when I go. This is only the beginning

So the wedding was tonite. Just home. Very nice. But... my sister butted her nose in again. Firstly, my father is very sick so I had to take him for an appointment at the hospital. This is the night of the wedding rehearsal. I tell my son and he says no problem, Really easy; later that night my sister calls me and says she went to the rehearsal and stood in my place! Like WTF, you were not invited! Then instructs me what to do on the day. Then...Says she'll do a funny speech about when my son was young and he was with My mom dad me and her. So yea, great. Then, she goes off on her great times she had with him in Florida... nothing else,, just her and his Florida vacations! And about him proposing on the beach in Florida, with her and her family's help. And her whole premise was welcoming the bride to "my & my parent's last name"s"
family. She has a completely different last name for the past 20 y.ears.
I looked at my son at the head table and he looked at me... I wonder what he was thinking.
My father a really funny speech after, and made the comment how we were happy he had come back to the family as we lost him for afew years. I wonder what all the other guests were thinking?

Also, I may be a horrible person. But my parents love my son to bits. He was a wonderful addition to our family. My parents were young enough to really have fun with him. And he should have at least come back to them. They are really old now and it is too late. And saw my dad so frail at the podium tonite and it was really sad that he missed out on his grandson for so many years. My mother too. She babysat him while I was in school, Yea, that's tragic and it is too late now,
Yea, and now I'm guessing my own sanity.
Maybe I am a crazy damaged person, and everyone knows & sees it but me?
My son is very quiet and kind. The speeches everyone said were full of praise for him, his best man even cried and said my son was more of a brother than his own, Like everyone LOVED him. But like OMG he doesn't like me! So that must mean I am _____?
I kinda feel like I'm that crazy relative you only let out of the attic on special occasions,
My parents are not going to be around much longer, and I will be alone.'
I seriously don't think my son will care very much.
OMG if I have to be cared for by my sister I would kill myself,

So also, i have stayed living with my parents for many years now. We are really close, and I know that bothers my sister, My parents are also quite old now, I am basically a caregiver too, as, if i was not here they would not be able to continue living here by themselves. I don't mind they are my best friends. However, my dad had a health scare and spent a week in hospital not long ago. I sat with him every day and my sister would visit when I was there. So we chat and catch up and she tells me personal stuff in a non-condisending way, so I think wow are we turning over a new leaf? She then sends me a really long email about personal stuff and her teenage daughter problems. And I'm like wow, can this be true? Well that great feeling went right out the window again. She called me later and SHE talked for like an hour, about how my parents and I should sell our house and move closer to her. Then she said the parents would never move and i said You Are Right. Then she says, as soon as our father dies, her and her husband come on over and put this house up for sale "as is". And take me and my mother back to her town and put us up in some housing, I was in shock. Like there you go, she just said what she thinks about me! She can come across quite charming to the unsuspecting outsider. So then I'm thinking, "I'll bet she's looked into this already, maybe called a lawyer too." Like I wouldn't put it past her.

Background:
My sister is 2 years older than me.
Our mother was severely depressed for a couple of years. Had to be hospitalized. When she was sick at home, we children were alone. She would cry in bed and we would try to cheer her up,
So, I was a baby and my sister was 2 years older, looking after me. My mother would say please look after your little sister, and she would roll over in bed depressed. My sister would hit me when I did something wrong. I'm sure she hit me a lot as there was no one there to stop her. My parents admit she had an evil streak. She dominated me. I remember her always taking all the good toys away from me, just to be mean. She would give me these old broken things and hoard the new things. She hit me so hard one time my top teeth went thru my chin and I had to have stitches.
She abused cats and injured 2 of them so much they had to be put down.
She was a bully to me until about grade 8. All my friends, everyone used to ask me why i let her bully me, and said I should stand up for myself.
Rght before my grandfather died, my father interviewed him. My father asked him which grandchild he felt sorry for (there are many grandchildren). And he said me! He said he felt so bad about how my sister treated me... and I was like YES, I have a witness.

So, my conclusion, is
My son drank the coolaid my sister served him, And well, it is too late to de-program him.
My sister is mad at me for a number of reasons,
but mainly of my relationship with our parents that she does not have.
Her life is not as great as she had hoped.
When things are not going well in her life it is easy to turn agression toward me, as she did when we were kids.
And... I am asking your opinion if it is OK to tell my sister for once, "Fuck Off Denise!"
She'll be off on Honeymoon with my son, so OMG how did my life get so wierd?!?

Oh, yea. She is the self proclamed best parent in the world to her daughter. There is NO better believe you her! UhHuh, so she comes over to my house with her daughter. I'm at work. They go into my bedroom. Private!
And she and her daughter pick and choose what they want to steal from me.
They take it and then a couple days later I'm at her place, and my niece wants to show me her room, and she shows me the stuff they stole from me, probably out of guilt.
She knew it was wrong, an 8 year old.

Like what is that? My sister just goes and takes it and that is just fine?
She would not do that to anyone else. What is up with her.

It reads like she may be trying to 'divide and conquer'.... from some things you've written it 'sounds' like she may have a personality disorder

http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/triangulation-divide-conquer

Yes, I think she does have a personality disorder. Why am I the only one who sees it?
I mean why doesn't she pick on someone else, so she can be called out for once.
And does she know she is doing this?
She must. I mean it is obvious that the things she does would upset me.
Like she really acts like I'm mentally disabled, and I think all around her think the same,.. and the way my son talks to me is the same, like I'm 5 years old or something.
So then I start questioning myself! Geez, maybe I am retarded? Maybe I don't see it but everyone else does?

My son, my sister and I used to always all go on vacation together in the early 1990's, and at that time it was fine.

I'd like to confront her, but I think she would really get mad and try to accelerate the process of taking my parents' house, etc.
I guess I need a good therapist, and at the same time get a lawyer,
And ask my father what is in his will. He will not last another year, I'd guess.
He said he'd give the house to me, about 10 years ago,
but then, later he said he'd have to give something to my sister. So I think it is divided like 30% her, 70% me.
I hate to ask my father about this stuff, cause he thinks he is fine and he will live forever.

OMG, Thanks SunCloudJD!
I just read
http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/triangulation-divide-conquer
And that's it for sure! Hit the nail on the head!
So, yes it is the best way just to avoid the person, I've let this all slide and never confronted her about any of this.
But I'd really like to tell my son what she has done, I've kept my mouth shut about all this to him, but really, the kid is in his 30's now, and he could go on vacation with me if he wanted, But he doesn't. Does he have this personality disorder? What did she say to him to make him avoid me? I feel like asking him why???
And if I didn't have my parents, I would never talk to or see my sister.
I do see a huge fight coming when my parents die. And I will be this horrible crying mess, with my live turned upside down, and she will pounce!!!
I'd bet my life on it.