who bit you? a family member, or a dog?

Hey there Drougn,

I think in order to offer any kind of advice or support we might need a little more info. Like how old are you? Who do you live with? Who bit you?

The reason I say this is that our responses will be different depending on whether you are a minor, or an adult. Also if you were bit by a human or a dog. And also if you are living with family as opposed to friends or roomates, etc.

It does sound like you are living in a very hectic, unhealthy environment. Also, is there a friend or relative you can call that could give you a ride to the clinic?

At 25, I guess I don't understand why you don't know how to take yourself to the doctor.

Welcome Drougn.... and a Big hug... Sorry you're in the midst of family drama.

I think the only way to get out of the dramatics is to refuse to participate... People can only fight and argue if they have someone to do it with

Hopefully you can soon find a job and when you do you can move out even if it's just to rent a room you can then hopefully find some peace...x

ok to add more info, my brother bit me, I am 25, been treated like im useless so long ive made myself believe it. i dont have anyone to go to no friends no family other than the ones here, and DeliAnnem that kinda made me sound useless but thats probably my fault its hard to keep my thoughts in order while in distress, I walked to the hospital hence why it toke this long to get back, they cleaned my thumb and as it turns out i have nerve damage, too early to know if its perm. SunCloudJD refusing to participate only makes it worse since its always aimed at me.

I didn't mean to make you sound useless. I just wanted to know more- if you are visually impaired so you can't drive, or you have a crippling phobia, or what...

I'm sorry about the nerve damage; that's horrible.

If you really want to do something about the situation, take the doctor report and go to the police and file charges against your assailant. Who cares that it's your family member; it's against the law.

Forgive me, but you sound a bit like you have a victim mentality, so it's time to take back the power. Has your family, somehow, made you think that you are dependent upon them? Do you have a means to support yourself? Why not leave them?

Again- go to the police or a lawyer- they could owe you money that could get you a place of your own if you sue for damages since you've literally got damage to your hand.

Drougn if it's that bad it might even be better to go to a shelter for the time being... I know that, that isn't anyone's ideal however you might find some peace .. At the same time you can be looking for work and save a little to rent a room
If you don't want to do that I would spend a lot of time looking for something to pay the bills sweetie so that you can get out of that situation

There are some good boards on here Drougn .. The Depression group might be a good support for you
Up at the top of the page on the right side it says Support Groups and if you wanted you could look through it

If you send hugs you receive them and comment on other posts... You can and will make some good friends here... Big hug....x

Here is a link to the depression board in case you're interested in checking it out D....xo

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Depression/support-group

Drougn - I'm glad you were able to walk yourself to the hospital for help. I'm sorry about the thumb and nerve damage. The body has an amazing capacity for healing, though, so hopefully over time your thumb will be back to normal.

You need to remove yourself from that living situation. I had to do this at age 14. I was homeless for a short time, but then ended up living with relatives (my mom's parents) which was still not perfect but it was a much better situation than my mom's house was. It made a world of difference. You can do this, too.

At 25, you have a lot of options available to you.

You can go to school. I don't know about the state where you live, but in our state if you qualify for federal grants to attend school the state pays the rest of your tuition. If you are low-income at all you will most likely qualify for grants.

If you don't qualify for any grants, you can apply for school loans. School loans can also cover living costs so that you can get your own small apartment and have a roof over your head and food to eat while attending school full-time. Also, as long as you are in school, you do not have to pay back your school loans. So you can just focus on school. Once you graduate, you have I think 6 months to find employment, and then after 6 months you have to begin paying the school loans back. (This is why applying for grants first, and scholarships, is the best thing to do first. Even if your state does not offer to make up the cost of tuition, any grants you get will lower what you have to pay back in school loans.)

However you can do it, going to school and moving away from that situation you are in not only helps you improve your current situation because it gets you away from your abusers, but it also improves your outlook for the future as you learn job skills and continue your education.

Another idea: You can still join one of the branches of the military. At 25 you're not too old. Here are the requirements for joining listed by branch: http://www.military.com/join-armed-forces/join-the-military-basic-eligibility.html

If you don't have a high school diploma, both your community college near you and a military recruiter can help direct you and show you what you need to get that done. They even offer a high school equivalency test online now.

Do you have a job? Do you have friends? Are you a member of a church group? Connections like these can also be resources. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Everyone needs help sometimes.

I think at your age you also can still qualify for jobcorps. http://www.jobcorps.gov/home.aspx That's an option, too.

You can also find a shelter as someone else (SunCloud?) suggested. Stay at the shelter until you can find a place of your own away from the people abusing you. This would probably be the most difficult path, because a shelter won't train you for anything or help improve your future at all like school or the military will. But at least at the shelter you will have physically broken away from the environment which is causing you to suffer.

Good luck Drougn. I hope you can break away and start moving in a better, forward direction soon. I know you can do it. If I could do it as a young girl at 14, you can do it as a grown man at 25. :) ((hugs))

Thank you guys for the support. Jeneiram, I liked some of your suggestions and have already attempted, unfortunatly i have a intestinal disorder known as celiac and the military wont take me due to it, The schools are also very currupt here, and i have made several attempts to get back in, as well as getting what i earned, they are holding my transcripts and no lawyers have been willing to help me get them back without pay, also the school system screwed me out of my grades, if you see them you can tell they were forged. I have no friends and no other family, also i am not a member of any churches and fresno is longer accepting anyone into shelters, infact they are taking the shelters down in an attempt to chase off the homeless, I am also unemployed, and since its mandatory to know a second language here and thanxs to the type of autism I have learning a second language is impossible. in other words its tough here.

Okay, so there's information you were withholding on us... it seems like you've got a form of autism that's making you disabled. I'm willing to bet that some of your perceptions are skewed- why would a school be preventing you from giving them tuition? I'd challenge that view of yours.

Also, Celiac should not be making much of a difference in your life; just avoid wheat.

I'm wondering if your family hasn't done the best for you.

I'd get a social worker and see if you can go to a group home.

Were you labeled as special ed in high school? I'd think they'd have counseled you and your family about your future... Sounds like somebody dropped the ball...

I can try to help you if you like, but you need to be honest about things. I'd have been upfront with the autism from the start.

Hugs.

Drougn, the additional information that you are autistic puts a completely different light on your situation. It is often in fact true that the autistic family member may be the focus of a lot of family anger. How very difficult this must be for you.

There are support groups here for Autism/Autistic Spectrum and Aspergers. They aren't very busy, but you might read some of the information there. You should also check out wrongplanet.net which has a very active support community. In this way you will come to understand more about yourself, your family's behaviors, and lots and lots of ideas of where to turn for help. Best of luck to you.

That's interesting, I had no idea that celiac disease would keep someone from military service, so I googled it and you're right. They will not accept anyone with a history of "intestinal malabsorption syndromes" which includes celiac.

There are still more resources for you if you'd like to try, the government does have opportunities and does recruit people with disabilities - even celiac or autism. Here's a link: https://help.usajobs.gov/index.php/Individuals_with_Disabilities

Drougn I think it's probably very difficult for you right now because you have been surrounded by negativity for so long that "no" is all your mind tends to hear. "No" is comfortable for you because it's what you have come to know as your "normal" or baseline. I think part of the issue here is that you are going to have to fight that urge to hear "no" and to give up and instead you are going to have to learn what it is to keep pushing forward and thinking with an open and more optimistic mind until you get what you need.

For example - with regard to the schools. Honestly schools want students no matter what. They want the attendance numbers so that they get money that way and they want students also for the tuition money. Schools are a business, no question about it, but that doesn't mean the school is 100% corrupt or bad. Within any business there is an element of give and take. You can take just as much if not more from a school as they take by profiting from your being enrolled in one. If that makes sense? In fact, IMO the student benefits more because what skills and education you glean from attending school you keep for a lifetime. Also you benefit by the networking opportunities, meeting other like-minded people, etc.

Anyway - I would go talk to someone at your local community college. Even if you have tried before, I would try again. I highly doubt things are as bad as that negative thinking part of your brain is trying to make you believe it is. Try waking up a positive thought process in your mind, and see where that takes you. It will be hard after so many years of negative thinking, but over time if you keep trying and keep working on it soon the positive voice will be louder than the negative one.

So are you in Fresno, CA? Fresno also has resources available to you with regard to mental help. Here are a few links:

http://fresno.networkofcare.org/mh/emergency-services.aspx

http://mha-cv.org/

http://www.crestwoodbehavioralhealth.com/fresno.html

Also if you contact the Fresno Autism Network, a nonprofit, they might be able to offer guidance and help. Point you in the right direction or help you find resources: https://www.facebook.com/ASDfamilies/info?tab=page_info

thanks for the kind words everybody, Ill post again when i have more time, but DeliAnnem, You are right normally a school wouldnt hold out on someone, and i would love to prove my side, all i can say for sure without leaking too much info is if you toke my english grades from all years in highschool my grade was cut directly in half, so if after adding my points up they came out to an 80% it would show as 40% and in my last year when my transcrips read straight F's for both semesters, but my academic GPA was a C average. I never understood why I was picked out over 2000 students to screw me out of my education. To be honest I do dream big I want to be one of the scientists, playing with the big equipment and possibly discovering the secrets to the universe. I would talk more on the subject but most people cant even begin to understand.

Did you graduate and receive a high school diploma?

Was it a modified diploma or a traditional one?

Were you on an IEP?

This info matters, too. Because there are services available for you if you graduated with a modified diploma.

If you were on an IEP and only accommodations were made to help you along, you should have graduated (if you passed all your classes) with a traditional high school diploma.

But if you were on an IEP and graduated with a modified diploma, then that may be why your grades or whatever you're seeing on the transcripts/report card may look very different.

Having a modified HS diploma also limits certain post-high school options, such as military service, etc.

I only know this because of all the time I have spent volunteering in the public schools. I see a lot of kids being pushed through the system on IEPs. Sadly, most of the parents seem un-involved, and the kids have no clue what's going on.

Now you are 25, and so if you want to change things you'll have to figure out where to begin.

It sounds like maybe you didn't graduate high school? In which case your next step would be figuring out a way to take classes and prepare for passing a high school equivalency test.

I would turn the focus from the negative thinking "picked out over 2000 students to screw me out of my education" to positive thinking... OK now I am old enough to make my own choices and I have power over my own life, so where do I go from here? And choose to move in a positive direction.