I would suggest you opening up and sharing details you are comfortable with when you visit a councilor. As you build trust with that person, you may find that you can share more details or find that you need to find a different one. I started seeing a councilor when my husband was first arrested, and because I refused to leave him, she stared to "treat" me for co-dependency. After a month and always feeling worse leaving than I did going, I requested to be reassigned. I love my new one! She understands my decision for staying and is helping me with the affects of him being arrested, trial, his incarceration and effects of family members not being supportive. Also, please feel free to share here. We all understand what you are going through.

By the way, you are dealing with a lot and sometimes we behave in a way that we may not like because of issues we are trying to deal with and the stresses of being in a relationship with a SO.

You are not a lunatic or crazy, just overwhelmed.

I can completely understand your feelings and thoughts on this. There is ONE person you can absolutely trust and that is yourself. Therapists can be very good at manipulation and questioning but YOU are the one who controls your responses. So, my suggestion is if you really feel you need the help of a licensed therapist then go see him/her and keep your answers to generalities. You can talk about the difficulties of being married to someone with a sex offense charge and still keep your husband's charge out if it. If the therapist asks something you don't feel comfortable with then let them know. A good therapist will respect your boundaries and move on or might even ask why you don't feel comfortable about answering certain questions. Just keep in mind you are the one in control of your information and you can choose what to or not to talk about.

On the issue of contact between your husband and his victim, if this contact is illegal in your state then he either needs to stop or you need to seriously consider whether he is truly worth staying with. Some states have laws which can make you an accessory if he is caught (assuming the contact is illegal). I think you already know your emotional upheavals and stress are (in part) caused by feelings of love and or support of your husband and your marriage versus the pain you feel when seeing him & his victim being close. If after doing time for whatever his SO charge was and he's still involved with his victim this would raise some serious warning signs for me and I would take steps to make sure I'm insulated and protected from his actions. A whole different matter is the victim..if under 18 then that creates a whole new set of problems..if over 18 then you'll have to decide whether you want to stay with your husband or move on; a decision I would not make until you decide to get some help.

On a personal note: I dated a woman who had a uncontrolled 17 year old daughter. Even against my better judgement I decided to date the woman. Within 1 month the daughter made several sexual flirtations towards me. I ended the relationship. This is not on the same level nor depth or your marriage but I thought I'd mention it because my freedom is more important than a relationship. I wish you well and hope for the best for everyone involved.

Fry, Standing said its LEGAL contact, so there would be no concern about the SO having contact with victim.

His contact with her is completely legal because of the not so seriousness of the offense. Which is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand it's really relieving to know that she is living quite normally and happy and completely forgives him but on the other hand it hurts so much watching them together. And he doesn't understand why I don't want to see them together and why I think they shouldn't have any contact. I think I will take both your advice and start off slow with a counselor.

Counselling can definitely help. You may have to try a couple of different therapists til you find the one that clicks ,and you feel comfortable with them. Have you considered couples counselling ? It just seems strange that your husband has an attachment to his victim , and doesn't care that it bothers you. I don't think you are being unreasonable about that.
Getting help for you is top priority , though. You are doing the right thing. I wish you the best and hope you will keep us up to date on how you are doing.

you are not a lunatic, just overwhelmed with all this stuff . sometimes it can feel like it , if you are constantly thinking about the negatives more so , i am depressed and its stressful , but im thank ful my husband is home with family and hes not in some prison .. we will have a lot of diff emotions when it comes to living with all these restrictions and all , we just dont have our freedom like normal people do . its something yu have to get use to and just accept , until something changes ,someday . which i pray it will .
about your hub and relationship with victim . if you go to counceling their main concern will be the victim if you mention your husband or anything about the victim . just be prepared. if he is having relationship with victim and its against the law , he may end up in bad trouble and it will lead to more stress on you then you already have . i wish the best for you and hope everything gets better for you .
sometimes i felt like running away myself and not think about all this , but the other half of me says no dont do it you love your hub and he needs you and you need him , you made a covenant when you got married . thru sick health death, rich poor to death do we part . and knows GOD will get us thru all we have to get thru and we will be ok ...