Families of SOs Community Group
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I post on several message boards dealing with corrections, the criminal justice system, sex offender issues, and the prison system.
On every board, I notice it is the ladies---the wives, mothers, girlfriends, etc.---who are responsible for most of the posting on that forum.
You ladies are some of the most courageous people I have ever known. To travel hours at a time, sometimes in a car that is old and not that reliable, through the snow or ice, and then to put up with the nonsense that the prison system deals out to you as visitors is truly humbling----and I don't become humbled easily.
You do this for the guy you love, whether it be your son, your husband, or your boyfriend.
I saw the very positive effect a visit on my fellow inmates had when I was in prison. They look forward to seeing you and even though guys are not usually good at saying "I love you," they do really love you. And I do too.
They want to look their best on a visit. I don't know how many times I loaned out a blue shirt or a nice pair of white tennis shoes to another inmate so he could look his best on a visit.
I can remember one young cellmate I had when I was in prison. He was a new arrival and he was expecting a visit from his mother. He was so excited with anticipation that he was like a small child on Christmas Eve. He paced the floor and must have walked several miles just going back and forth right outside the cell. I joked to him that he should sit down, as he was going to wear the souls off those new shoes.
Like a lot of us silly men I at one time took women for granted. I just thought they were supposed to be there for us. When I went to prison and since my release I see how wrong I was.
Some of the most dedicated people I know have been the people who take the time to visit an inmate. An inmate desperately needs contact with the outside world to remind him that the world has not completely forgotten him.
I don't have many heroes, but you men and women who visit others in prison are certainly heroes in my book.
I also remember when I had a visit one sunny day. I saw all the ladies---and I don't want to leave out the men---patiently waiting in line, sometimes for as long as an hour---to be processed just so they could visit a few hours with the guy they love, whether it be their son, their husband, or their boyfriend. That made a big impression on me and made me realize how strong these women are.
I feel the same way toward the members on this board who have a loved one---a son, a husband, or a boyfriend---who is not in prison but on probation for a sex offense. It takes a special person to stand by your loved one especially when his crime is sexual in nature. That takes the fortitude that you just don't see every day.
So, I just want to say "Thank you" all for being who you are. No, you all do not look like Miss America, and many have lost their once youthful figure, and most of us are certainly not rich, but you do one thing that is worth more than anything else in this world----you are there for your guy.
Sometimes we need to be told how special we are.
God Bless you all,
rewdiazepam
On every board, I notice it is the ladies---the wives, mothers, girlfriends, etc.---who are responsible for most of the posting on that forum.
You ladies are some of the most courageous people I have ever known. To travel hours at a time, sometimes in a car that is old and not that reliable, through the snow or ice, and then to put up with the nonsense that the prison system deals out to you as visitors is truly humbling----and I don't become humbled easily.
You do this for the guy you love, whether it be your son, your husband, or your boyfriend.
I saw the very positive effect a visit on my fellow inmates had when I was in prison. They look forward to seeing you and even though guys are not usually good at saying "I love you," they do really love you. And I do too.
They want to look their best on a visit. I don't know how many times I loaned out a blue shirt or a nice pair of white tennis shoes to another inmate so he could look his best on a visit.
I can remember one young cellmate I had when I was in prison. He was a new arrival and he was expecting a visit from his mother. He was so excited with anticipation that he was like a small child on Christmas Eve. He paced the floor and must have walked several miles just going back and forth right outside the cell. I joked to him that he should sit down, as he was going to wear the souls off those new shoes.
Like a lot of us silly men I at one time took women for granted. I just thought they were supposed to be there for us. When I went to prison and since my release I see how wrong I was.
Some of the most dedicated people I know have been the people who take the time to visit an inmate. An inmate desperately needs contact with the outside world to remind him that the world has not completely forgotten him.
I don't have many heroes, but you men and women who visit others in prison are certainly heroes in my book.
I also remember when I had a visit one sunny day. I saw all the ladies---and I don't want to leave out the men---patiently waiting in line, sometimes for as long as an hour---to be processed just so they could visit a few hours with the guy they love, whether it be their son, their husband, or their boyfriend. That made a big impression on me and made me realize how strong these women are.
I feel the same way toward the members on this board who have a loved one---a son, a husband, or a boyfriend---who is not in prison but on probation for a sex offense. It takes a special person to stand by your loved one especially when his crime is sexual in nature. That takes the fortitude that you just don't see every day.
So, I just want to say "Thank you" all for being who you are. No, you all do not look like Miss America, and many have lost their once youthful figure, and most of us are certainly not rich, but you do one thing that is worth more than anything else in this world----you are there for your guy.
Sometimes we need to be told how special we are.
God Bless you all,
rewdiazepam
I will also add going through emotional turmoil, finances, taking care of the children, and most of all giving us a second chance when most will not. For this eternal gratification and love!
A lot of inmates---and sometimes registrants---have a "woe is me" attitude when it is just as difficult or maybe even more difficult for the family. After all, the inmate actually has very few responsibilities in prison, as everything is done for him. But the family members still have to pay bills, hold down a 40 hour a week job, worry about getting the kids to school, be a mother and be a provider, etc.
We must never forget that the families of registrants or inmates have a very important role in the success or failure or a registrant or inmate.
rewdiazepam
After what my husband has told me, I am working on helping out some of the guys he was in County with. I can't go visit them, but I am doing some things for them on the outside world that no one else will do for them because they've all but forgotten them.
You cannot know just how much your own experiences have been able to keep me from tipping into deep depression at times when I felt so hopeless thinking nothing but how my son could keep going for the next 30years .
I must add a thank you to the women who have kindly replied to me sharing,caring and knowing exactly what I am going though every single day.
I send you all many blessings.
You are a very kind soul - God bless you.