Thank you. This helped our family so much when my son went in.

Rew, I am praying you are feeling better. You are such a valuable asset to this site and the world. Blessings!

Rew,
I am a mother currently going through this hell you speak of. I am so terrified for my son. Would like to hear more and maybe talk about some of the things you have listed here such as cover stories. How can I reach out to you? Your words really helped a lot.

How do I join a support group and post my story.

There is a chance I am heading to prison as an SO. I have heard it is probably a good chance it would be at a Medium security vs. Low security Federal Prison. I am not totally sure what factors determine this, but either way if it is Medium I keep hearing conflicting advice about either having a 'cover story' or just not talking about it (is that possible?). How you do not get exposed with a cover story and what is actually a good cover story to use? Someone told me it needs to be close to the truth, but not the truth. No idea what that means.

If you mean on here asgmiami ….. This is the family group and towards the upper right side of the page there's a little blue plus sign that says New Post

You click on it and it will open the page for you to post what you'd like to say... I hope that this helps

The first prison you will be sent will be a reception/assessment center. There they will classify you to determine which security level prison you will be sent. They use a points system, but the two main factors in where an inmate will be placed are the nature of his crime and the length of his sentence. The more points you have, the higher security you will be sent.

If your sentence is short----five years or so---you will most likely never see the inside of a medium security prison, which is where most of the bad guys are. Why? The prison system usually does not want to place a first time offender with five years in the same prison with guys who have killed, raped, or kidnapped someone. Many of those guys are career criminals and would harass the hell out of a first time offender, which would constitute a security risk. So, if you are given a short sentence you will never go to a medium security prison. Instead, you will be sent to a lower security prison where there is very little violence.

The cover story has its defenders and its critics. I will tell you what I saw during my time in prison and after my release as I work in prison reform.

When you are sent to your destination prison, some nosy inmate will ask you “whatcha in here for?” You have three choices----You can say “I don’t want to talk about it”, you can tell them the truth about your offense, or you can lie to bide you some time to show some of the inmates that you are not some sort of pervert with sex charges.

You can tell them enough to get them off your back until you can win some respect and show the other inmates that you are not the typical sex offender. I believe this is not only the best option, but the only viable or workable option.

There is no way you just “cannot talk about your crime.”

What I have said above applies to a higher security prison. You should have no problems if you are at a lower security prison, but I have to tell you that I help many mothers with sex offender sons who are at a medium security federal prison and doing well.

If you say, “I don’t want to talk about it,” I can guarantee you that it will raise a red flag with the other inmates and they will make sure to have their family Google your name and find out the truth. I can just hear two inmates talking to each other, “You know that new guy down there in cell 15? I asked him about his crime and he wouldn’t even talk about it!!” The other inmate will say, “Oh hell, we need to get to the bottom of this.” The “I don’t want to talk about it” will work at a minimum security prison, but not at a medium security prison. Inmates may not be book smart, but they are plenty street smart.

If they approach you and ask you about the charges, you could tell them the truth. Just go to a medium security prison and when asked, tell them, “I molested a child or I was caught with some child pornography.” See how long you last there. I can guarantee you that you will not be on that yard for more than three or four days, as they will run you off. Inmates do not like sex offenders anyway, but they despise sex offenses which involve a child since many of them were sexually abused as a child.

You said, “How you do not get exposed with a cover story and what is actually a good cover story to use?”

I will admit that in the digital age, any inmate could ask a family member to Google your name and find out your crime, but taking the chance is much better than the alternative. My advice is to keep a low profile and just not give them any reason to want to research your crime.

Now remember, you will probably only need a cover story if you are headed to a medium security prison. A lower security prison is relatively safe, but you might still want to lie about your charges. Yes, you may get shunned at a minimum, but it is very unlikely that you will get physically attacked.

What you choose as a cover story needs to be believable and compatible with your appearance. For example, I could probably not use a cover story that I was a drug dealer, as I don’t have any tattoos and do not have that hard convict look. But I could pass as a guy who had a domestic dispute with his wife and in the heat of passion, shot at her. Lots of clean cut guys are involved in those types of crimes.

You probably could not pass as a drug dealer either. If they began asking questions about methamphetamine or cocaine and how much it sells for, you would be lost. So forget the drug dealer story.

I will help you concoct a cover story when you get further down the road in your situation.

Hang in there and keep in touch.

rewdiazepam