Reading this made me sad, I know she was a victim, but good lord, there didn't seem like there was any getting through to her much less making her remember her previous posts.

Thank you Wisconsin for trying so hard, you're the best we have with statistics and quick information. :)

I agree with Mustard-Wisconsin you did a great job. There was just something about her that set me off. I admit it. I have posted alot on here and have never gone off on anyone....that I can remember LOL...but there was just something about her, her post that set me off. I apologize if I offended anyone.

ok i was guided here to read to judge if vicky was in the wrong with her comments, i have battled my inner demons on this on whether it was worth it to post, so before i get into what i have to say, i will say this search my posts see what i write you will no as much about me as i know about you if you do. judge me that i have no reason to post in here, but guess what i am here all you will be doing is wasting your own time., i have done no other research than what i have read, the people in this post are no worse than what you accused Vicky of, you said she attacked you, but she made one post, then was attacked by each and every one of you, and then she decided to defend herself, one stating he WAS a victim another sighting facts and statistics, others getting angry over one comment.

now let me cite some facts statistics and some was were and are things for you

There are many kinds of abuse. some people are abused and traumatized for life, some are abused and can overcome it because of alot of factors, some abusers are habitual some its one and done others are predators. NOT one of you people in this forum truely knows the other persons real story you konw one side and its the side you are being told, some are sad, some incidents are innocent and misunderstood,

there are some people mislabeled as sex offenders for merely peeing behind a tree, yes thats a true victim. the original poster, boyfriend truely sexually abused another child. went to jail for it, yes, the poster states he was nothing but nice to her daughter, but was it being nice to scope out a potential victim or was it nice cause of innocent caring no one knows but the abuser or accused and he wont ever admit it. the simple fact that your are dating a man who really had sex with a child, and you are having this dilemma isnt even the same as some as a guy who innocently did something that was misunderstood or a person being falsely accused for some type of revenge.

now that i have said my piece here is my words of advice for this whole group of people for lack of a better term you state vicky was evil and had no clue, everyone is at a different level of victim not all are at the same level, dont judge and if i offended think about the next person who tries to post and and you gang up on, how they feel

As it was my post Vicky replied to i feel i should respond. I did NOT attack Vicky at any time. She assumed my partner had hurt my daughter and i told her that was not true. Other people pointed out to her that she had been insensitive, which she had. If she had gone on my profile she would have know he had not hurt my daughter, something i think is always wise to do before responding to a post. Also she went on to say so are usually kind and caring...very untrue !!!!! . My daughter is 9 and my partners " victim " was a 15 year old willing sexually active teenager whom did not report my partner. I would say even someone very thick could see there is a big difference !!!!! I could go on an defend my partner in many ways but this forum is not a place i need to do that so i am not going to start now.
As for only knowing the one side of the story.....this forum is not about judging people, it is about supporting each other whatever the story is.
I am sorry to say that i now think my initial thoughts on Vicky's posts are true and the only thing anyone on here did wrong was taking the bait !!!!! There are lots of supportive forums within daily strengths, i am sure Vicky and yourself will find one of some help to you both.

Vicky is gone, but I did look at her profile, and she has been on DS for a while and was in other groups that were for the assaulted. I think that she came here thinking that it as another site like that, expecting to get support for bashing other people's loved ones like her and other probably do on those other forums. I believe that she probably wasn't expecting the other side of the coin to hang out here either. So when she got 'jumped' for her comment, she was probably as genuinely surprised as we were on her attitude.

getting it straight, as you scold us on our conduct you fail to take your own advise. First of all, her comments were the kind of assuming comments that most of us deal with on a daily basis, regardless of crime. She used words like ALL and ALWAYS, and other finite words, the first thing you learn when you get into this kind of legal stuff is that ALWAYS AND NEVER are two words you always never say.

She made gross assumptions about people when she arrived and then posted them and wondered why people took exception to them. Same thing went for you, you came you read one thread because she asked you too and passed judgement on all 800 of us. Exactly who do you think YOU are?

All of us have been through some kind of wringer be it from the legal system, because someone abused us, because we were abused as children, because some of us were sexually abused, or for whatever reason. As it clearly states in our description, this forum is for those that are loved ones of people that have been, are, or going to be convicted of a sex crime and are looking for support to get through what lays ahead. I am guessing that you know nothing of that? Have you been convicted of a sex crime? Do you know people that have been convicted of a sex crime? Are you family to someone that has been convicted of a sex crime? Or are you and Vicky just victims of a sex crime and are looking for like minded folk to bash those that have wronged you? From looking at your profile, it is the latter, looking for a place to bash those that have wronged you. That is NOT what this forum here is about, if you read the 178 pages of posted from the last 3 years you would also know that too. Something I think neither you or Vicky did.

So sit there and judge us, it only makes you no different than the people that harass us on the street and vandalize our homes and even kill us if you haven't been watching the news. The people that have been convicted are NOT the only victims of the laws that surround them. Remember YOU as a male person are only ONE accusation away from being just like the rest of us here, convicted and subjected to being on a public Hit List for LIFE. And remember the statistics show that people that have suffered sexual abuse are far more likely to commit a sex crime than someone that hasn't so from your profile you are one misstep away from being accused and arrested only to be forced to try to prove your innocence instead of just presenting reasonable doubt.

@gettingit.... did the tree testify?
@vicky.... even if you are not here. my victim was 15 i was 20. i lived with the family for 3 years. engaged...didn't work out.. also, her parents paid for my lawyer.
@wisconsin i just love you.
@mary... i would go for the relationship but i would listen to the social services BUT. i would tell them that you plan on having that relationship. i wouldn't hide anything. as SOs like to live in secrecy. "don't tell". after the SS people meet and greet your partner, and he has shown progress in therapy, then maybe there could be a relationship between your child and him supervised.

to the other little ¸.•´¯`•.´¯`•.¸¸.•´¯`•Trolls; one question: do you have some string for my jolly ranchers? because you know we ALL SOs lure kids wit them. also, just a quick little saying i love: BITE ME. (not sexually motivated so please don't get me for sexual harassment).

much lub.
Anarchy.

@Wisconsin-well said and I love you!

@Anarchy-LMAO about the jolly ranchers

Wow! I have not had a lot of time lately, and just got on. This was a very heated post. Wisconsin, well done you are always good with the facts. It makes me sad that people just dont understand. This is why we are where we are. People assume that all RSO want to hurt a children and that is just not the case. Yes my husband is on here for CP, but as some of you are aware I WAS also a child of abuse and I CHOOSE not to be a victim! I forgave my abusers a long time ago as some of them were kids themselves. But what this group has taught me is people can change and I have been able to make it through this because of this group and I am very greatful. Everyone makes mistakes and I will continue to tell my story to anyone who listens. Thank you all for being there!!

@getting it right. i'm sorry that was a little snide. was trying to lighten the mood but realized it was at your expense. you did make some very good points though and thanks

@christad5- no matter what happens i'm sure we'll always be here for ya if you need us.
@wisconsin when i mean i love ya i mean; you have some great stats, and i would hate to get on your bad side. lol