You seem to think you know what makes an SO. But it's obvious you don't. Here's a few scenerios.
18 yo Paul had sex with his 17 yo girlfriend, they broke up, or the parents found out filed charges and now Paul is an SO.
Paul had to pull over to the side of the road on a long journey to pee.. and a cop pulled along side and saw him and now he's an SO
Paul was downloading some music videos on the computer and accidentally downloaded a child porn video which he deleted.. he's now an SO
A prostitute got arrested for having sex with a man over 21
I'm sure others here can easily add to that list.

All these Pauls are listed on the same page as the bad guy who actually hurt a child. But you'd never know it because it doesn't say that on his picture. My son's picture will be next to someone who , maybe is dangerous to children but others will see him the same way they see the bad dude.

Matthiak
Are you implying the old phrase “it takes one to know one?”
How childish is that? What do they say about assumptions?
You are a member of a support group yet you do not come across supportive.
I am not out to get anyone and I am seeing that as with life where, you try and try and try to reach out, do you understand how difficult that is? How difficult it is to express yourself through words written down?
Is this a support group or an attacking group?
I am trying to leave the group but cannot find how I go about doing this. But I will be off this group soon.

Wasconsinrsol
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate what you are saying.
I really am sorry to have offened anyone.
I am not wallowing in anger etc I am not a victim I am a survivor. I was not attacking and am genuinely shocked at everyones response. Like I have said I am trying to get off this group and perhaps even the site. I do before I leave however want to reply to some of the comments. Which have hurt me deeply. There is something about being hit and hurt by a complete stranger. I am already a hated person and have joind this group to find help and support as it is advertised as being. I misinterpreted what this support group was and thought it was something similar to the other groups I am on.
I cannot believe how many stick by those who betray them in the worst way possible.

rebylrose
Whatever!! Why so nasty.
It was not a snide comment at all.
I do not need to justify myself to you. But just so you know. I do not feel that you are completely over it. I sense your anger be it at me. the way to release it.
I am not a victim and I do not dwell on it like you assume. I am realising a lot. I am indeed a survivor.

Some comments are quite contradictory.
About just because your a victim does not mean you can pass judgement? Well what have most of you done to me?
This is such a hateful place to be isn't it?

Nakohichi

It was not an insensitive comment at all and that was not my objective either.
I believe when you refer to an SO you mean a Sexual Offender and offences usually include child sexual abuse, downloading child pornography rape and statutory rape.
I have researched and researched on Sexual Offenders, Child Molesters, and Paedophiles etc. There are lots of differences between them but the majority of their offences usually include sexual abuse on children.
This has become a bit of an obsession for me finding information and doing research because of my life experiences.
I thought this was a support group.
Also in relation to your comment “most mothers choose their children” that is incorrect. In fact most mothers do not do anything to protect their children. More commonly it seems that mothers seem to choose their partners.
I am not assuming that this man is going to hurt the child what I am saying is that you should follow the advice of the social services because they are advising that she not have contact with him for a reason and I would therefore not risk my child.
I feel experienced in the world of this nature because of my own experiences and also due to communicating with victims too.

Also I was clearly responding to the post. What is the bigger picture?
Why would you assume there was an agenda? There was no agenda. I agree my response probably did not come across very clear. But there is no need to attack is there?
You search my emails or my internet? What does this mean?

Also I have not assumed anything about anyone of you that has responded in the way you have. I have just responded to one paragraph with using just a few sentences.
This is nothing to do with your son etc etc etc. This was only in relation to this post?

Vicky as you well know when it comes to the subject of sex offender emotions run hot.. Many of the people here have been burned by trusting too soon, and like any group one has to get to know folks a little first. I can tell you straight out that there are people here that probably don't like me much. That's ok... I think that when it comes to the written online word, things can get lost in translation.

I am going to encourage you to stick around for a bit... I know that you got off to a rocky start but I can assure you that people here are welcoming, and as you have already stated here, you came to learn and get support... It takes time to learn that saying certain buzz words while they are a regular part of the public's perception, just like in the civil rights movement, it is about how you say things... We certainly don't say the 'N' word anymore, when a short 50 years ago, it was quite normal to say it in reference to African Americans.

Just remember, a lot of us are abused by the people that claimed to be our friends and loved ones just because of the person we are married to, family with, etc. That abuse is abuse no matter who is giving it out and no matter to whom they are giving it out to. Not everyone is deserving of a life sentence that is close to a registrant, because when they are on the internet, everyone that is with them is on that same page. it is like saying that I am a sex offender because I am married to one, how is that fair?

Yes vicky, Im over it, I moved on and forgave the person...in fact, I speak to him on a regular basis now...why? because I know he got help and I know it was because of a mental illness. This is a support group for SO's and their families. Your comment about SO's charming ppl and making ppl like them is very condescending. I will defend my son til I have no breath in my body...and contrary to YOUR belief, he doesnt charm ppl..in fact, he is a loner.

My attitude comes from being a biker, not from being sexually abused. Your tone on these post have put me and my friends on the defense and rightly so. I am VERY protective of my friends here. Im still not sure why YOU are here.

Vicky, have you done any research on the other types of sex offences that are very commonly on the registry? Like hebophilia, remember it is also lifetime registration, with a child sex offense on their record for life. That is what the teenagers end up with. For giving into the very instinct that has kept our species of human being around all these thousands of years.

There are three things that we as human beings HAVE to do in order to perpetuate our species... FOOD, SHELTER, and PROCREATE. Our species has a set clock that starts at puberty to begin the child bearing years through adulthood. Now let me be very clear here, I am not saying that anyone that has hit puberty is ready to have sex. But that is not saying that if teenagers get together and their hormones get the best of them as they often do, why should that be a life sentence type of crime?

The things that we talk about here usually is about how broken the system really is... That the way the investigations are carried out. I have met people that were mailed teen porn by the FBI and then they raided their home and of course charged them with a crime for having the piece they sent them. There is corruption abound that ensnares people and their families until they are destitute. All because of about 24 now high profile cases throughout our nation, that some very poorly thought out laws came into being that is now diluting our registries with people that pose no danger but have been pushed to the fringes of society and our communities making them more prone to commit other crimes. The high recidivism rates that they love to quote really are not as they are implied. They include ANY crime not just sex crimes, so they could get caught shoplifting and that contributes to that statistic.

I commend you on the fact that you are researching and we can help you learn... I am just sorry that everyone got off to such a rocky start...

I know nothing about your son? Why are you taliking about him. I was only responding to the post.
Dont worry I will leave the site.
I am protective also.
Where do I put they charm people?

Leave me alone now.

Yes I have heard of Hebophilia this is the sexual preference for 11-14 yrs olds in early years of puberty.

"If he is an ROS this is an alarm bell and the fact he has gone to prison. An SO is usually caring and friendly. This is what makes others like and trust them. "

Vicky, this is the statement that some interpreted that RSOs 'charm' people...

Remember, in the written work, intonation and inflection of the voice is lost in translation... it is a very common problem in the cyber world and when it comes to topics like these where emotions run high, it can get really blown out of the original context that it was meant.

And think about it, 14 is the age when a person start in their Freshman year of High School. Where they are now exposed to seniors that can be 18. I know as a 14 yr old I dated people that weren't even in HS anymore...

I am not hammering to you about romeo and Juliet cases to put you on the defensive but more like trying to get you to see the shades of grey that are in this issue. That it isn't just about children that have been molested but about a whole rainbow of things that vary in severity, while the laws unfortunately do not distinguish between them so someone that was 18 going out with their 15 yr old girl friend, here in WI would be looked at as a child molester because the law in which they would be convicted under is 2nd Degree Sexual Assault of a Child, which brings with it up to 25 years in prison, $40,000 in fines and a life time on the registry. So when you look at it, does the punishment really fit the crime?

That is the reason people here are sensitive... and I don't think that anyone has continued to 'attack' you here, not after you elaborated on what you meant and apologized. You are not being pushed out... We welcome all that want to learn, just remember many of us endure everyday the judgement of others for the decisions we have made and sometimes that switch is hard to turn off...

Im sorry, I used the wrong flippin word! Since it was on another page, I couldn't directly quote it. My son who is an SO does nothing to make ppl like him, in fact he tries to stay away from ppl, he is just the opposite of caring and friendly. I mention my son because you lump all SO's together...just like everyone else. Each SO or RSO is an individual, each one is a human being with different characteristics.

Do you have a family member that is a SO or RSO?

Vicky has unsubbed... so responding to her is probably rather futile...

Thanks for letting me know.