How much time did he receive? What was the length of his sentence? What was his offense?

I see from your profile that you are in California, so I assume he is headed to a California prison.

Before I say anything else, you should know that prison is NOT like it is depicted on TV and the movies.

If he has a relatively short sentence, he will most likely be assigned to a minimum security type facility. At these types of prisons he will be with inmates who are short timers with no history of violence. The purpose of many of these television programs is to grab ratings; the reality is that prison is rarely like you might see on MSNBC's "Lock Up." Prison is nothing like you have seen on television.

At medium security prisons, there is violence, but not on a daily basis. If you watch some prison programs, they would have your believe that all inmates do is go around with homemade knives stabbing each other or beating each other up. That is just so wrong. That can happen at a medium security prison once in a while, but not on a daily basis.

If he is sent to a minimum security facility, his chances at a confrontation are greatly reduced. They might have a fist fight every once in a while, but there are rarely any beat downs.

He CAN do this sentence in prison. Others have and there is no reason that he cannot. I did and I am not a big guy physically.

Tell us more about his conviction, his crime and his sentence and I will tell you more tomorrow, but I did want to write a few lines tonight to let you know that he will be fine IF he adheres to a few "prison rules" which I will explain further later.

So relax. I was there for a long time and I would not lie to you.

Many of the ladies here have a husband or son in prison and they can tell you how their loved one is coping with the prison experience. These ladies are intelligent and compassionate. Many have or are going through the same emotions you must be feeling right now. They can help you greatly.

As it is so late here, I was just up to let my dog back inside. I will write more when I hear from you.

BTW, welcome to the board.

rewdiazepam

BTW, sweetjane,

Take one day at a time and you will get through this and so will your husband.

This is not the end of the world although I am sure you feel that way.

Keep your chin up. It gets better, trust me.

rewdiazepam

So many men going to prison accused of various sex offences who are innocent. Cha-Ching.. cash in uncle Sams' pockets.

My son went in a little over 3 years ago. He's 5'3" / 130lbs and has a pretty face. I was scared, plus he's a very shy guy. Most of the inmates in the Low, if your husband goes there, are just wanting to do time and get out.

You're husband needs to pick a crime other than what he went in for, and stick with it. Drugs is a good one. He'll find other inmates who know he's new. My son always found someone who befriended him and helped him get used to it.

You said he's going to state.. my son was federal, but I'd assume they're pretty much the same. Federal , altho you get less good time, has other perks, like an art and music room. Do state have these as well? Keeping busy is a must, reading.. send him books when you can. If my son can make it, your husband can.

Nak

Just four months ago, I was where you are today. My man was in county jail for a month waiting to be moved. On Feb. 10th I got the call - he was going to state prison in the morning. I was panicky. We had fallen into a routine while he was in county: twice a week visits, twice a week phone calls, letters back and forth. I lay awake the night they moved him - waiting to hear from him. I waited and waited but no phone call came. Sleepless nights - but every day I checked the CJ website to see if his name showed up. Finally, on the third day, there it was! I immediately wrote him a letter, figured out how to send email (through JPAY) , went through the steps to set up a phone account so I could receive calls. (I only have a cell phone, no land line so it was a little more difficult). For three weeks, I wrote every day but received no letters or phone calls. I was going out of my mind. Finally I got in the car and drove down there - it is a maximum security prison four hours from our home. At first they didn't want to let me in because he hadn't finished in processing but I was persistent. Just quietly stood there, asked to speak to the family liaison on duty, told them I would wait. Finally after two hours, they decided I wasn't going away and they let me in. I was good to see him; it was also hard to see him - they had shaved his head and beard and brought him in in chains. He said that because of his health issues, they couldn't decide where to put him so they put him in a restricted unit until they got back to him. It seemed as if they had forgotten about him. We enjoyed our visit and the next day I got on the phone and made a few calls. They had indeed forgotten about him so he had never been processed - no testing or ID card. They came back a week later, finished his processing and moved him.
I'm not telling you this horror story to scare you but instead to let you know that it DOES get better! That was about three months ago and now he's settled into daily life. He calls several times a week, I go seem him every third week. He loves to read and I send him a new book every week.
I do agree about not talking about his offense. He has come up with something he is comfortable with and that's what he tells everyone - actually he avoids talki g about it as much as he can. It helps with the safety issue. (He has seen a few fights but has not been involved in anything - he feels safe where he is now).
I am interested in what Rew has to say - we are still new to this and have several years to go. What I would recommend is "Be Strong!" He needs you now more than ever! Keep writing - keep praying - keep advocating for him! Transition is hard but you will get through it. I agree with Rew: prison is a lot different from what you see on TV and most people there just want to serve their time and get out. My man has made some good friends that realize that he is definitely out of his element and they have helped along and given him advice as needed - told him what to do, what not to do. Prison etiquette.
Anyway, we're here for you! Just stay strong, come here and cry when you need to (wish I had this group during our transition)

Here are some links that were posted on this forum at one time or the other.

Click the link and it will take you to the discussion.

I know the information is accurate, as I was there and saw it with my own eyes.

http://tinyurl.com/orzf8h5

http://tinyurl.com/mm9wof6

http://tinyurl.com/lksajvy

http://tinyurl.com/q93ac3j

I will answer any more questions later this evening. I have some errands to run.

Keep the faith,

rewdiazepam

Rew is right. Your husband needs to have a story and stick to it. I also highly recommend that your husband befriends the Christians, there is safety there.

Your husband will be moving to a reception center, most likely Kern or DVI, but there are others. There, they will asses him, and tell him what level he is, this will determine which home facility he will be moved to.

It will take awhile for you to get approved to visit, so I recommend making several copies of the visitor form he sends you so you can mail them off every couple of weeks. This can help speed up process to get approved to visit.
Sorry you're here, but glad you found us. Welcome!

Thank you, everyone, for all the kind, reassuring responses. After posting last night, I meditated a bit and calmed down enough to eventually go to sleep.

To answer Rew's questions:

My husband is in for possession and distribution of CP (all done through a social media account that he hadn't used in 6 months, which we believe was hacked--but nobody cared about this. Apparently, as far as the police are concerned, it doesn't matter if they catch the RIGHT guy; they just need to a catch A guy).

Even though he has no priors (not even an arrest), his sentence is 2 years, 8 months--according to his attorney, DOUBLE what it should be for his charges (Again, no one cared--not even the judge. I mean, what's another 16 months? It's only a man's life, right?).

He's not a kid and is pretty muscular, so I don't think he puts off a vibe that he's one to be messed with necessarily, but he's also not all tatted up, so I think it'll be fairly obvious that he's new to the game. He does have a cover, which he's been using in county, and fellow inmates seemed to buy it and gave him no problem.

I know he'll be in minimum (His score would calculate to a 5.6, but by law here, all sex offenses automatically get a minimum score of 19, which would put him at level 2). I think he'll be fine in minimum; his plan is to work, just as he's done in county. He's already educated, so I'm not sure how useful the classes would be (unless meditation is one of them). Honestly, I just want him to be safe. I can deal with not seeing him the entire sentence if that means he's safe.

My main worry revolves around reception. It seems that inmates are not separated by level there, so people like him will be mixed in with violent offenders. I keep reading about inmates murdering other inmates in reception. And people hassling each other for papers. Is this what he should expect?

My then, 21 y.o. son got 30 months in federal for 1 count of accidentally possession of cp.

He now has 15 years probation.

Your husband will be ok. He'll be in a low facility, as his sentence is short. People don't get murdered in low. They just want to do their time and get out.

Tell him to have no papers (legal) in his cell. The lawyers should mail everything to you and nothing to him. The other inmates do look for papers to see what the crime was. Yes, my son said in reception they are all together but if he carries himself ok no one should bother him. My son was never in prison (or trouble) before and he did fine. He was lucky though to be in and out of reception in two days. Not everyone in prison has tattoo's so I don't think that should be a sign he's new to the game.
My son is in a medium and he does very well there. I guess it depends on the facility. Be thankful he has a short sentence and it will be behind him. Will he be on the registry after he gets out?

He will be fine at a minimum security prison. I was at both a medium and a minimum and a minimum is easy time to do.

An inmate has to make a concerted effort to get hurt at a minimum. The inmates there are first timers with short, non-violent sentences. They are at the tail end of their sentence and just about ready to be released. As a result, they have an incentive to be on their best behavior. The last thing on their mind is to assault some other inmate or cause trouble which would delay their release. They would receive a misconduct, lose any good time credits they had, and maybe be shipped to a medium----where nobody wants to go.

At a minimum, the most anyone ever gets is a bloody nose or a black eye; at a medium, an inmate can get stabbed or even killed. That is the difference between the two security levels. The mediums have the really bad guys with violent charges and long sentences. Inmates at minimums usually have petty charges.

As long as your guy keeps a low profile, minds his own business, does not snitch or borrow or get in debt or talk to the staff too much, he will be fine.

I can see no reason to worry about his safety.

rewdiazepam

@ sweetjane,

I doubt very much if you have to worry about reception. Yes, reception is like a maximum security prison and the inmates, regardless of their charges or their history, are all placed together, but that is rarely a problem.

At reception there are usually more COs than at a normal prison. Most of the newer inmates are too overwhelmed or scared to cause a problem and the older inmates are past the "fighting in prison" stage.

Since it is a maximum, and the guys are locked down in two man cells most of the day, there is limited contact with other inmates. If a guy can get along with his cell mate at a maximum, that is about all he has to worry about. He just does not have much contact with all the other inmates.

Nobody knows anybody else, so they would not likely be able to determine your guy's crime.

At mediums, there is a lot of material laying around to make knives and weapons. Not so at these reception centers. Nobody goes to work, so contraband cannot be carried back into the institution. At most mediums, they have a factory where inmates can make license plates or metal furniture. Many of the shanks were made from this steel material. They have none of that at these receptions centers.

Just take one day at a time and you both will be fine.

rewdiazepam

Debbie's son has done well at a medium despite his charges. Why? He has good communication skills and carries himself well. It is not how tough you are, but how you conduct and carry yourself.

Her son not only has a gift with getting along with others and being an "OK, A-1 guy" he has something else inmates want-----knowledge. And he is willing to help them. I am sure he helps them with things like their canteen list, writing letters, and understanding their legal papers. Inmates are not stupid---they know who the people are that try to make their lives easier in there.

He carries himself well and is liked and respected. That is why Debbie's son is doing well.

Inmates do not beat up other inmates they like and respect.

rewdiazepam

Thanks again, everyone. Before my husband got transferred, I spent a lot of time online, gathering information for him. Luckily, most of what you're all saying, I managed to tell him. I kept telling him, "You're really smart, and you're really strong. You can do this." I even told him to help people write appeals if he had to because he's actually a very good writer.

Well, all I can do is hope that he can carry himself as well as he did in county. It's out of my hands. It's just so difficult to deal with the fact that he's in there for something he didn't even do. If the tables were turned, I wouldn't be strong enough to handle it; I think I'd literally die of fear in prison. Anyone who can manage to not completely fall apart in such circumstances is extraordinarily brave in my book.

I'm so glad I found this forum. Just from the few exchanges I've had here already, I feel a million times better. Thank you so much for being so supportive to someone you don't even know.

Yes, Debbie0403, he will have to register because in California, even public urination gets you on the registry. So really, this is a life sentence.