I went through this 4 1/2 years ago. It is like a death. My husband went to work one morning and was gone...just gone. They called him to go the Police station. He confessed. He got locked up in county and did not come back out...until last week. Yes, he is done with his prison term and is now on Probation.

I remember just crying and crying. Many times all I could do was cry and say, "I want my husband back. I want my husband back." It was the worst feeling I ever experienced. I didn't have any kids at home at the time, but the rest of the family completely abandoned me. The usual reason, of course. It was because I betrayed the victim by caring about my own husband! How absurd can you get? I have not seen any of them since. I am no longer a grandmother, which has been just awful. I helped raise those kids from babies. People say, "oh, they will come back to you." Well, maybe.

I also thought that if they had all died, it would have been easier.

But time does go by. Its tough, but you work things out small step by small step. The worst part is going through the legal part. Hopefully, it won't drag on. In our case, the legal phase lasted about 7 months. Then he was in county jail for about a year and a half. The worst part for him was the two months in reception before he want to the penitentiary for nearly 3 years. But he survived it all.

He is home now, but we do not live together. Today we started counseling to try to put our relationship back together but in a new way. In my case, husband was guilty. He fell down the slippery slope, but he is back now. I call the legal phase "hell freezing over." The prison phase, "Frozen", because so much gets put on hold when someone is in prison. Now that he is out, we have to try to unthaw it...figure out what the heck happened and try to make a new life.

I am optimistic. Today he said some things about what happened that I had never heard...and he wouldn't have said to me had we not been in counseling. I believe that we can all heal and grow through this.

This is a tough road, but you have found good companions on this forum, Critter. Glad you are here.

Thank you guys. Peekachu, my sister got mad at me and stormed out of the preliminary hearing. I guess she didn't like the response to the women who were there asking how I was doing. I haven't talked to her since. I have the support of my mom, she understands that I just can't shut him out. I talk to his mom a lot but she lives down south. My husband pleaded not guilty, his PD promised she would be there about a week before the court date and never showed. She said she would be there to see him this last Tuesday and never showed. It breaks my heart that I can't help him get a lawyer. We don't have credit cards, or anything to sell. I was a stay at home mom for five years. I'm not allowed to talk to him about the case but he doesn't have anyone here to help him. I don't understand why everyone seems to think he is guilty, when most of this stuff was supposed to have taken place we were expecting our son and planning our wedding. I worry about him in jail, he is not a violent man. My two boys need their dad and growing up without mine left a hole that no one could fill. It brings me to tears thinking about them not having their dad. He was always their hero and then he was just ripped away. The boys don't like seeing him behind glass, they can't hug glass. This all started after I got my middle daughter into therapy for anxiety. She wrote a letter to her therapist claiming that she remembered something happening back in 2007. They made me bring both girls down and that's when I found out my oldest claimed stuff happened. There are a list of things that I have down for the defense though. One daughter claims it happened in my sons room in the dark, the other stated it was the living room with lights on. My oldest also had me watch a documentary called the Imposter on youtube after this was all brought out. It makes me question what else she has done online.

I would hound that PD. And if need be, try to get another one assigned because of ineffective counsel. She's clearly not doing her job.
We were blessed with a good PD and he tried pretty hard, unfortunately the DA is a bitch who isn't above coaching and lying to get a win.
I have no idea how you're doing it. Kudos is all I can say. In many ways I was fortunate. My hubby was kept out of jail on a recognancense (sp?) Bond and my step-daughter was put into foster care which was ok since she was toxic to the family sad to say. C&Y services said there was no issue with my sons staying in the home so that all worked out.

Oh, Critter, Your story makes me so sad. These cases are not AT ALL about people and their needs. It is about politics and politicians using sex offenders to get elected. They are the real predators, preying on people's emotions. Our lives are the unfortunate byproduct of this insanity.

I'm praying for you and your children. Also, for you husband.

Thanks Peekachu, I will be praying for your family and the other families here. It's a shame that this tragic topic is what has brought us all here. You all are so kind, it's sad that this has affected so many.

It is a shame that this horrible thing has brought us all together but at least we know that we are not alone in this what I hate is that they try to make it all the same and every situation is different and every circumstance is different

I am starting to realize the Government doesn't give a crap. I have now been denied for housing and for the W2 program even though I am a struggling mom to five because I am still married. It's like they are trying to force us into a divorce. There are times when I just want to say screw it and move back to my mom's but I can't because it would mean splitting kids up and not being able to keep my german shepherd. I have stayed in this town for so long because of the schools. I just want this nightmare to end.

My husband was arrested 2-1/2 years ago. He went to work and never came home because i got notified of what happened and i made the report. It was a total nightmare at the beginning. Dealing with what happened to my daughters and trying to help them while trying to understand everything myself and deal with my lose and emotions i was going through. Plus dealing with the Prosecutors office. This was a joke as they tried to say things were not true and i questioned them, told them things were not the way they are putting it i was a BAD person and did not care about my girls. They actually threatened me with jail if my girls changed their story. I told them i would never do that. What gets me is how the law enforcement, prosecutors office can lye all they want to try and make their case, but do not lye to them or they will hang you. It has gotten a bit easier over this time but it will never be ok. Listen to Rew as he is a very wise and helpful person. I do not post alot on here but i read just about everything. Prayers to you and your family