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I received a letter this week from an inmate at the prison where my Iowa son used to be. He claims he's a good friend of my son. Here's what he wrote. I need your opinions on what I should do about this.
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My name is S...and I'm a good friend of your son's. While he was here with me at [facility name - my son was later moved to a different facility], he told me you were a kind soul who loved to help inmates who couldn't help themselves.
Here is my problem: I'm writing a memoir, but I have a really bad memory. As I spent most of my life on Facebook, I feel like this is the best place to be for incontrovertible facts, leads as to who I was, and joyous memories long forgotten (which I could definitely use in here).
I was hoping if I gave you my Facebook password, you could download a copy (zip file) of my FB content and either print it off yourself or bring it to a copy shop and have them print it off.
What complicates things is I'm shipping off to [different facility name] sometime within the next week and there the limit is 10 pictures/sheets of paper per envelope. I told myself money was no object for this project, but that might make it prohibitively expensive. As you might imagine then, this is extremely time-sensitive, so I would need this done within a day or two and then overnighted.
Feel free to email me on Corrlinks (for which I would be happy to compensate you whether you take on the project or not) with a definitive answer or any questions you might have. This will also be much quicker than a letter, so I can give you my login info instead of waiting a week for another letter to go through. I generally check it at least 8 times a day and can get back to you immediately.
I'd be more than happy to compensate you for your time, effort, and materials, as soon as you say yes, if you decide to do it at home. If you decide to do it through a print shop, just send me the invoice and I will immediately reimburse you the money.
I completely understand if you're hesitant to help out a prisoner you've never met like this, but please understand, I also have my past to lose. Like I said, I lived my life through social media. Facebook is my life. I'm, at best, handing over my identity.
I've included a "how-to" in the event you would like to help me with my project, as I wouldn't have time to send a separate letter after your confirmation. I'm sorry if I over-explain. Your son told me you're tech-savvy. He just didn't tell me how tech-savvy you were and I'd rather give you too much information than too little.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your time and consideration,
S
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Interestingly, his additional "how-to" pages were very informative and taught me how to download my own FB content, which I didn't even know was possible.
I looked him up on the Iowa inmate lookup web page and I see that he's only 24 years old. I can see his photo on his FB page and he looks like a very young man.
My husband strongly warned me not to get involved in this. Years ago, hubby was involved in a Christian prison ministry, holding Bible studies with inmates on a weekly basis for a period of about a year. I trust his judgement.
Additionally, I have already been instructed by the deputy warden at this facility that helping inmates other than my son with any kind of activity that involves money is strictly forbidden. He told me that inmates who do this kind of thing can get hurt, if other inmates become demanding of favors they think are owed to them. That's the last thing I would ever want to cause.
So, here's my question: Should I try to find someone who has no involvement with other inmates to help this young guy? Should I trash the letter and pretend I never received it? Should I send a very brief postcard to this guy saying something like, "Sorry. I'm unable to help you."
As always, I welcome advice, suggestions, comments, and feedback.
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My name is S...and I'm a good friend of your son's. While he was here with me at [facility name - my son was later moved to a different facility], he told me you were a kind soul who loved to help inmates who couldn't help themselves.
Here is my problem: I'm writing a memoir, but I have a really bad memory. As I spent most of my life on Facebook, I feel like this is the best place to be for incontrovertible facts, leads as to who I was, and joyous memories long forgotten (which I could definitely use in here).
I was hoping if I gave you my Facebook password, you could download a copy (zip file) of my FB content and either print it off yourself or bring it to a copy shop and have them print it off.
What complicates things is I'm shipping off to [different facility name] sometime within the next week and there the limit is 10 pictures/sheets of paper per envelope. I told myself money was no object for this project, but that might make it prohibitively expensive. As you might imagine then, this is extremely time-sensitive, so I would need this done within a day or two and then overnighted.
Feel free to email me on Corrlinks (for which I would be happy to compensate you whether you take on the project or not) with a definitive answer or any questions you might have. This will also be much quicker than a letter, so I can give you my login info instead of waiting a week for another letter to go through. I generally check it at least 8 times a day and can get back to you immediately.
I'd be more than happy to compensate you for your time, effort, and materials, as soon as you say yes, if you decide to do it at home. If you decide to do it through a print shop, just send me the invoice and I will immediately reimburse you the money.
I completely understand if you're hesitant to help out a prisoner you've never met like this, but please understand, I also have my past to lose. Like I said, I lived my life through social media. Facebook is my life. I'm, at best, handing over my identity.
I've included a "how-to" in the event you would like to help me with my project, as I wouldn't have time to send a separate letter after your confirmation. I'm sorry if I over-explain. Your son told me you're tech-savvy. He just didn't tell me how tech-savvy you were and I'd rather give you too much information than too little.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your time and consideration,
S
-----
Interestingly, his additional "how-to" pages were very informative and taught me how to download my own FB content, which I didn't even know was possible.
I looked him up on the Iowa inmate lookup web page and I see that he's only 24 years old. I can see his photo on his FB page and he looks like a very young man.
My husband strongly warned me not to get involved in this. Years ago, hubby was involved in a Christian prison ministry, holding Bible studies with inmates on a weekly basis for a period of about a year. I trust his judgement.
Additionally, I have already been instructed by the deputy warden at this facility that helping inmates other than my son with any kind of activity that involves money is strictly forbidden. He told me that inmates who do this kind of thing can get hurt, if other inmates become demanding of favors they think are owed to them. That's the last thing I would ever want to cause.
So, here's my question: Should I try to find someone who has no involvement with other inmates to help this young guy? Should I trash the letter and pretend I never received it? Should I send a very brief postcard to this guy saying something like, "Sorry. I'm unable to help you."
As always, I welcome advice, suggestions, comments, and feedback.
Here's what I can tell you: Many states BAN the use of facebook for registered citizens and this is when they have been released from custody. This is even true once they get off supervised release. By sending him this material, he isn't directly using Facebook but he is by proxy, through you.
I would find out if the correctional facility he is in would consider this contraband or if they would allow it as legitimate correspondence. Certainly they may not want things from his Facebook account or page sent to him because they might contain visual images or pictures of minors. You can always edit those out but I assume there are probably some pictures of minors on his account. Innocent pictures such as those that were taken at family gatherings or wherever but that will be a definite no-no. Also, anything you send him will be searched and can be incriminating on his end, so I'm not even sure it is wise for him to be sent this material. He might not remember every single thing he posted or blogged about and may not want CO's reading it. They probably already searched his computer for this with a fine tooth comb when he was initially arrested but he shouldn't want to give them a second bite at the cherry.
I admire the fact that he wants to write a memoir. That takes a great degree or bravery and courage.
So if you do intend to go through with this, make sure it is all kosher.
One word-----"No."
I have seen too many mothers over the years who have gotten themselves into a terrible predicament attempting to help an inmate who is "a friend of your son." In the majority of these cases bad things happen and the mother gets burned, sometimes burned to a crisp.
I have seen the most innocent request turn into demands for money---almost to the point of blackmail---- horrifying and threatening calls to the mother, and even former inmates knocking at the mother's door once they are released.
Notice that your son is no longer at the same prison as this inmate, so there is no way to verify if they are even friends or if this inmate is not trying to "run a game" on you. This inmate may be nothing but a con artist, but you have no way of asking your son. Just because he says he is a friend of your son does not mean he actually is or was.
When inmates run games on people on the outside, they almost always choose mothers who also have a son in prison. They know mothers are generally kind hearted and the motherly instinct naturally wants to help another son in distress. They also know that they gain extra sympathy since they are in prison and mothers with sons in prison know how tough prisons can be.
If you notice he put key words in his message as bait------"he told me you were a kind soul who loved to help inmates who couldn't help themselves."
"Kind soul", "loved" inmates, etc.
Inmates may not have the intellect of Plato, but they possess a Ph D in street smarts and how to run games on kindly people.
And the game usually happens when the inmate is "a good friend of your son," and the mother's son has already be transferred to another facility.
Listen to your husband. He is not so emotionally involved that his thoughts on this will be clouded. It is difficult for a mother to deny a seemingly innocent request such as this, but you must.
One thing I always tell mothers whose sons are in prison-----PROTECT YOURSELF. The first thing I tell them is that when their son receives a letter from them for them to instruct their son to rip off the return address and flush it. Inmates have a nasty habit of stealing return addresses and using those address to create mischief or trouble for an unsuspecting family member.
Take the Deputy Warden's advice. One last thing for you to think about honestwitness is this----if this is not completely legit and if the prison finds out---and they might if it is not legit---there will be an internal investigation over this situation. And guess who will most likely not be able to visit another inmate or maybe even write, even if the son has been transferred to another prison. Getting into this potential train wreck could affect your ability to see or communicate with your sons.
Tear up the letter and pretend you never received it.
rewdiazepam
AND furthermore it could potentially involve you in downloading and 'exporting/' sending "pornographic material' through the mail and into prison which means YOU could potentially be charged with a felony (or blackmailed by threats that someone will turn the material over to authorities if you don't put $$ on their books or if you/ or even your loved one doesn't do something else they have in mind.) The information you download off face book will also provide them contact info on other marks.and potentially information on friends and family on someone's facebook so they can pressure them too.
Even if you think you can "see" this inmate's picture on the prison inmate website you have no idea who may be actually calling the shots from inside.here. They could be pressuring him and planning for him to be the fall-guy if this thing goes sour
They people running the scam certainly aren't going to pick an ugly looking criminal "bubba" type to write using his name and tell you he was your son's best friend and he 'can't remember his own life' so he wants you to download stuff off Facebook and send it into him so he can 'write a memoir???" The information you download off face book will also give them contact info on other marks they can pressure on the outside.. As Rew said associates on the outside can come knocking on doors . Not everyone is locked up.
Please follow Rew (and your husband's) wise advise. (and even if you still really really want to, don't just sneak around and do this anyway behind your husbands back) i Take Rew's and your husband's sound advise. Soft-hearted people can be manipulated into doing a lot of things they come to regret. (Act in haste Repent at leisure?) Focus your efforts only on your own family members. Just Saying. JanetM.
If he keeps sendin you letters talk to Rew. He knows more about this.
Think about it this way: what's on the internet NEVER goes away, and those records from his FB account will still be there when he gets out. If he needs them that bad, he can get them. "I'm writing a memoir but my memory is bad"? Really? REALLY? That's not how any of this works.
This kind of thing is real... if it isn't simple and it costs you money, then it probably isn't worth it... I know it sounds harsh but there are some real criminals in prison... heh
Don't do this......it could get you into a world of hurt. If this guy is serving time as a SO, then more than likely his correspondence is being scanned and copied for the Feds, and you don't want the FBI knocking on your door. Heed everybody's advice here-they're all right!!!