Families of SOs Community Group
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I have been told two totally different ways in which my son should respond to questions about what he has been convicted of when he gets to prison. I am pretty confused. How has your loved one handled that situation?
But if you go to a medium security prison----not a work camp, not a work release, not a minimum, and not somewhere where the population is high in sex offenders----and you have a sex offense, a cover story is about all you have.
Many sex offenders have 20 or 25 years and I can assure you that they will not be going to lower security.
You basically have two choices if you wind up on a medium yard with a sex offense----1) tell them the truth and reveal your charges, or 2) concoct a cover story which will buy you enough time to show the other inmates you are not a serial molester.
If you choose option #1, you will encounter big problems. You will most likely be threatened and told to leave. At that point, you will have to "catch out" or face a bunch of angry inmates who want to hurt you. And this will happen fairly quickly. You probably will not be on that yard the next week.
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You have option #2, which is maintain a cover story to buy yourself some time. Hopefully, you can win some respect from the other inmates and if or when your true charges are revealed, they will know you, like you, and realize you are not the stereo-typical sex offender. Then the charges will not matter much.
Now you only have two choices here, so take your pick. Do you want to get either beaten down or harassed off the yard in the beginning or do you want to give yourself a chance to convince the other inmates you are an OK guy?
I have had an inmate's family tell me that their loved one is at a medium security prison, the other inmates know his charges, and he has done well. I then find out that this "medium" is not a medium at all, but a minimum or I find out later that this medium has a high percentage of sex offenders and it is where they send most of the inmates with a sex offense. Neither one of these examples is a typical medium security prison situation.
I don't quite understand the idea that the other inmates will be mad if you lie and they find out. Hell, they are not going to like it whether you lied or not.
It is almost as if some people think that if you tell them the truth---and not lie---they will be OK with a new guy on the pod who happens to be a sex offender.
No, if you don't lie to them and tell them your charges in the beginning, they will dislike you just as much as if you used the cover story. You are not likely to get some kind of a "break" by being truthful.
My theory is that a cover story gives an inmate time to prove to the other inmates he is not a sick pervert. Then if his charges surface, they will not hold as much weight as they did in the first place.
A sex offender going to a medium security prison and how to ensure his safety is one of the biggest challenges an inmate will ever have. There are no easy answers and no foolproof methods of dealing with this.
Every scenario can be picked apart and has some flaws. All I am doing is trying to help the men----and their wives, girlfriends, or mothers-----have the best possible chance of getting through this ordeal.
No more, no less.
rewdaizepam
There are other pitfalls for the nubies besides their charges. My son told me when he got to the prison no one asked him why he was there, but did ask if he gambled, smoked, or was in a gang. Two days in one guy tried to goat him into gambling over a chess game he was playing. The guy got snippy, my son ignored him, and he finally walked off.
Learning to fly under the radar, and staying out of trouble is every bit as important as a cover story. They walk a fine line, and it’s hard to live in a place where you don’t know the rules. They have to learn when and how to do everything so as to not send up any red flags among the groups. They need to learn what to say and when, and what gestures are acceptable or not. To be nice or not, and in what situations. When to talk, when to shut up.
Racism is big in prison which is hard on my son because he was not brought up that way, so he stays to himself a lot. He says it’s hard because he gets lonely, but its all in the name of not stirring the pot.
If they upset the wrong people, its not like they can say “Up yours” walk away and never see them again. They have to live with the assigned group whether they like each other or not.
It is a hard education, and it changes people, but at least a cover story could buy someone some time to learn how to fit in and survive
So far my son has been where he is about 4 wks. He says only a couple of guys have asked about his charges, and 4 or 5 gang members were carried away in hand cuffs and he has not seen them since. They apparently had gone into another pod and beat up a guy.
There is a whole bucket of worms to wade through when someone enters a prison, so even if a cover story offers only a short amount of time for them to acclimate, to me, that is a good thing.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!
We hated it, but he was able to stay safe. If anyone else found out about hubby's charges, this guy would say that the inmates don't know the whole story and that hubby was a good guy.
As stated before, hubby has used rumors to his advantage at his medium yard. No one there knows why he is there, and if they do, he hasn't had any problems because he hS shown that he is a nice guy.
What is PC? I don't know anything about prison. ..
If your son is bipolar, stress to him the importance of taking his meds religiously. When guys get into the manic stage, they do some very crazy things, which might be very detrimental in prison.
PC is protective custody which is a special cell where they put guys who might be vulnerable in the general population, people such as snitches, sex offenders, and gang drop outs. They basically isolate guys in PC and do not allow them to have any contact with the other inmates, which of course, is the purpose. PC is a miserable way to serve time and should be a last resort for any inmate who is scared of being harmed in prison.
rewdiazaepam
If he indeed has been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, then he needs to be on some meds to even his moods out. If not, he will invariably run into problems in there. If he goes into the manic stage, he will start to do things very uncharacteristic and he might really run into some problems with some of the other inmates.
You need to call medical where he is at and stay on their butts. If you don't, they won't do anything. These jails and prisons need to know that some of these guys have families out here that care about them and will see to it that they are treated humanely in prison----and getting the proper medical care is part of being humane.
rewdiazepam
Joslyn....keep on it. Do what Rew said. Call the medicalmental health team. Sometimes all they have is what the inmate says. Having family and outside information helps them.
And be patient. Communication is the key. When it comes to this there can be that patientclient protocol. Having someone on the outside with info can help.
As for cmini 45....listen to Rew. He has experience and knowledge that goes above and beyond what i can offer. He helped me give my son in law a cover story. Although my sil poo pooed my suggestions. We are not in high school here. This is prison. We are talking a serious and dangerous playing field.
What Rew told me is to fit the crime with the person. My sil is a baby faced college boy. To take on a cover story that didnt fit him was stupid! What are the charges? Then you can create a story and stick with it.
I just wish my sil wouldve taken Rews advice. He is sitting on a 10 year sentence for rape and strangulation. He is so naive i want to just smack him upside the head.
Just remember prison is not safe. Especially those who committ sex offenses. Look what happened to Jeffery Dahmer.