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Did my husband really do this??

lifesucks2
lifesucks2
Hello all, I was just informed a few days ago that my niece said that my husband molested her when she was 5 or 6 years old. I am in shock I cant believe it! My husband and I have four children together and I never seen him be so much as inappropriate with any child. My niece used to hug him and never afraid of him. I keep finding holes in her story. My sister lived with us back in 07 when my niece was four and we left right when she turned five or a little before. While with us my sister had various relationships with other men in a 6 to 7 month time frame. One of which had the same name my husband does. I know child will not remember exact time frames so I guess four is close enough to five to be accurate but I just don't know if she got the person mixed up of who hurt her or what? Maybe its wishful thinking but my husband says he did not do this and I am inclined to believe him.....my niece said he did it and i believe her......could it be she got the person who did this mixed up with my husband ...the one constant male in her life? Any suggestions or advice would be helpful...

Thank you
lifesucks2
lifesucks2
Thanks MistyU....We won't!!!!! Its a shame too...you would think they would try to see your point of view!
ThoughtAsWeak
ThoughtAsWeak
You can talk to the family, but don't discuss anything about the case. If talking to them is too much temptation to inquire more about the case, it puts you in a difficult situation because they want to talk, then not talking would be better.
lifesucks2
lifesucks2
Thoughtasweak....they do want to talk about it.....it's hard but I rather not talk to them! Thank God I can talk to you guys!
faeryedark
faeryedark
I know with my husband, my best frineds and I tried to believe my step daughter...like they say you're supposed to...but things just never added up. In fact, the more we tried to fit things to her story, the more it was obvious he couldn't have done anything. For one, his work schedule at the time didn't fit....and of course as in yoir situation, she claimed it happpened years earlier.

Oh, and she called and admited she'd lied and apologized the day after she'd turned 18. Sadly, she won't go tothe DA about it
ksteeler
ksteeler
Although everyone's already said it, do not speak to anyone but your lawyer. Make sure your children are protected; children's services LOVES to use them as leverage. Be as proactive as you can to get out ahead of this. Best wishes.
wanderingaround
wanderingaround
I agree with the mountain/molehill scenario as described by Rew. Generally speaking somewhere between the two stories lies the truth. For a 12 year old to accurately remember events from 8 years ago seems like a huge stretch to me. Also, is it possible that the statute of limitations expired? That would at least ease your mind a bit as far as the criminal justice system is concerned. No talking to police or anyone but your lawyer about the case is the best advice, as difficult as that is. And, as I am in a similar situation, with my teenage son being the accused, I can tell you that all of the players have a vested interest in believing what they want to believe and also in ramping up their reactions. Your niece sounds troubled on many levels, as is mine, and I've seen that her parents are super happy to have something besides their parenting to blame all of her problems on. We've had to become very honest with ourselves about who has our son's best interests in mind and sadly, that does not include everyone that we once thought it did.
Kittyk96
Kittyk96
I am sorry you are going through this, but glad you found this place. With me it's my son and internet CP, so my story is different from yours. I do want to say one thing to you, my dad always taught us to listen to our instincts. He used to say that your "gut" is right 99% of the time. So trust your gut, go through the process and see where it leads.
lifesucks2
lifesucks2
Hello everyone! Thank you so much for talking the time you took to write back to me. We just hired a lawyer and he suggested that my husband gets a lie detector test and another test regarding his reaction to deviant sexual abuse. Its going to cost us a lot of money but I really hope that the truth comes out....even more than I want my husband's freedom. ..I know I will be lucky to even get that....I pray she just will tell the truth. ..cause all of a sudden it has been more times...more than once this happened to her now. ..she is adding to the story.....it's so sad....does she really need this type of attention.....thank you again for all of your best wishes. ..i am truly blessed to have found all of you through this support group!

A million times ...thank you...thank you....thank you!!!!!
Kittyk96
Kittyk96
I could be wrong, but it sounds like she is either being coached by someone, or going for the attention. I am glad you were able to hire an attorney. Please keep in touch, let us know how you guys are doing.
klw9653
klw9653
I wouldn't take a polygraph if I didn't have to. Those things are nothing but junk science. They can't really tell if someone's lying or telling the truth. You can be totally honest on them and still fail and vice versa.
Advocate2
Advocate2
Before you get those tests make sure the lawyer will not reveal the outcome unless it is a good one to anyone - also do a little research - I am sure that you know lie detector tests are not reliable and the other one he is talking about is an awful test - very archaic and also can give non reliable results - just be aware going in ...
faeryedark
faeryedark
My husband's lawyer toldnhim not to take a lie detector test as they are not admissible in court and are junk science. However, he went through risk assessment testing and scored the lowest possible as far as risk...which duh! Since he's innocent....go figure
rewdiazepam
rewdiazepam
Since it is his defense attorney arranging for a polygraph, the results fall under the attorney/client privilege.

You can bet if the polygraph results are negative or inconclusive the results will never be revealed to anyone.

As far as the other test, the penile plethysmograph, is just another foray into the insanity of our criminal justice system. This is just a disgusting, barbaric procedure more fit for the Dark Ages than modern times.

http://tinyurl.com/lfejm4b

rewdiazepam
Independent2014
Independent2014
You can trust your defense attorney, everything is protected under attorney client privlidge.
lifesucks2
lifesucks2
Hello everyone.....I was a little confused by him suggesting the polygraph in the first place. ..but the lawyer said if it is (and it will be) favorable that they can show it to the DA and they may not pick up the case.....I know it won't hold up in court but I would like for him to take it if it can help us! rewdiazepam..plethysmograph is the test I'm not sure about..have you had any experience or known anyone who has taken it? Independent. ..I think your right we can trust our defense lawyer. ..I'm really glad we found him....Faerydark..was your husband's test the plethysmograph test? Advocate and KLW..I agree with you..those lie detector test could be faulty. ..Kitty...I will definitely let you guys know what comes of this.....so nervous and it is so hard to put one foot in front of the other right now......but we try our best everyday! I'm going to make sure my husband joins this group he would love the overwhelming positivity. ...really sucks when your not believed!