I am sorry this is happening - accusations no matter the circumstances are very powerful in our country 9without any evidence) - the only advice I can give you right now and tell your husband this too - do not talk to anyone about this - do not make comments - and above all get a lawyer and tell all law enforcement and other gov't entities to speak only to your lawyer - this is so important and do not let them bully you into thinking you HAVE to talk to them - you do not. You also do not have to let them cross the threshold of your home or any property without a search warrant signed by a judge. be careful going forward - read through some other similar posts.

My uncle went through something like this... his daughter said that he molested her... After much investigation and doing exactly what Advocate describes (not talking to any one but your attorney). They found out that it wasn't my uncle but that his daughter was displacing who it was on to him and it was a step brother that was the perpetrator.

There is a good chance that he didn't do what she says he did but one of the men in your sister's life did. What kind of stressful things is going on in your niece's life right now, why is she bringing it up now rather than later? Is your sister in a relationship or acting in a way to cause her daughter to seek attention by accusing others of things? or just displacing the accusation?

From what you say I could say that I believe that someone did harm her, but was it YOUR husband or any number of men that made their way through the house at that time? That is the real question.

You hang in there... get an attorney and hang tight while the fact come out.

Advocate2 and Wisconsinrsol...Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post. I feel so much better knowing that this has happened to people before. I can't talk to my family about it cause they would not understand why I am taking his side. But we are talking to a lawyer tomorrow and I will definitely heed your advice. I am so scared for my family and your comments really and truly mean the world to me! If anyone has any more advise....things I should look up...ways to be better prepared please let me know.

Thank you again!

I can not stress this ENOUGH...

DO NOT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT THIS CASE AT ALL, NOT FAMILY, NOT FRIENDS, NOT CO-WORKERS, NO ONE BUT YOUR ATTORNEY...

I know very little about my uncle's case because that is the same advise I gave him when he was accused. And he did exactly that... This is especially true since he hasn't been charged yet at all... Try to keep it that way... :)

You hang in there...

You could very well be right, it could have been someone else that abused her and not your hubby.

Personally speaking, when daughter came forward about the abuse, I could see hindsight the warning signs. If after talking to your niece, you don't see those signs with your husband, then I would say you are correct in your assumption that he didn't do it.

Does she have any brothers?

In my case, 14 years after the "incident" and five years after my release from prison, the "victim", by that time a mother with two children admitted that it was her brother who molested her and she falsely accused me.

She accused me to deflect any blame toward her brother.

So look into that very seriously. Does she have a brother? A step brother? How about some other relative close to her that she does not want to get into trouble?

I mention a relative because kids will not usually go to the trouble of blaming someone else unless the true perpetrator is near and dear to them.

rewdiazepam

Get a lawyer!!!! My husband was falsely accused by my step-daughter. She had various reasons to do this, and as time goes by I keep finding more. She had been molested by a cousin and I believe very strongly by her uncle (whom she loved and adored at the time but now has a love/hate relationship with) Sometimes kids will accuse a 'safe" person, instead of the real culprit.

Hello Everyone! I am so very happy I found this site! She does not have brothers....but I asked my children if they remember if my sister had a boyfriend or boyfriends when we lived in savannah back in 07 (now keep in mind my son is now 14 and my daughter is 11 and my niece is 12) and they don't remember that. However they do remember her living with us during that time. Which makes me think someone she can't remember hurt her and she is putting it on my husband because he is the one male she remembers during that time. I am finding a ton of documents (my husband is a contractor with the government and he deploys a whole lot) that places him out of the state and country during most of the time frame these alleged allegations took place. The more research I do the more I am convinced that he had absolutely nothing to do with this!

Thank you so much faeryedar, rewdiazepam,Thoughtasweak for taking the time to speak to me on this. This really helps me think of why she would do this. I really don't feel so alone right now! If anybody else has any ideas or just words of support please share with me....I really am trying to look at all aspects of this!

Thanks so much!

*Faeryedark and not faeryedar (sorry) :-)

It's impossible to know if he did it or not. The only people that know are your niece and him.

This is not a popular thing to say here but I'll say it anyway to give you the other side. Most sex offenders that are convicted are guilty. There is no way to prove exactly how many people in the prison system are innocent, the innocence project believes that to be anywhere from 2-8%. Most criminologists think that 8% is a little on the high end and are 2-5%.

Now of course there is a higher percentage of innocent people that are accused than convicted. And there again there is no way to tell who is innocent and accused when the case gets dropped before trial and who is guilty and accused but didn't go to trial for lack of evidence or a witness decides not to testify.

Another interesting fact is that most sex offenders also have a hard time at first admitting what they have done. Whether it's a defense mechanism or they just have lied so much about it they start believing the lie, most offenders do not admit their crimes at first. In sex offender therapy you cannot even start until you admit your crimes. This is a great place to start therapy for most, unfortunately the people that are innocent get screwed here. They cannot admit what they didn't do and usually have to stay in prison longer because of not completing therapy.

You may feel that it is very important to know whether he is guilty or innocent. I will tell you right now the state DOES NOT care! If they come after him for a sex crime, you will feel just how much they do not care. You must get the best attorney you can afford and don't talk to anyone!

Again whether he did it or not is impossible to know, but you need to invest in the best possible lawyer and tell everyone that knows they cannot talk about it. If the police want to question you or your children you tell them only if your attorney is present!

Thank you independent for your honest opinion. ...this really hard for me.....cause I am thinking on one hand why would she lie...and on the other how could he do this....is he someone who could do this.....I mean he is the most kind and helpful person I know.....the only thing that make sense is that she may have been too young to really remember the correct person....it's a big struggle. ...I pray that my gut is right....

Thank you so much for responding!!!!

I went through a long investigation, arrest, and trial in which a young girl falsely accused that I touched her. Not touched, actually raped, in my case.

I don't know how old the young ladies are, but another scenario that is not uncommon is this------Something happens in the child's life. Maybe she is going through a bad period, her self-esteem is low, or she just wants attention. Maybe she is not getting along with her parents and she does not feel loved or accepted. Maybe another family member is getting more attention than she is.

She tells a fib, that in the beginning, is not a major crime. But it snowballs. Soon she finds that she has created a monster and the story is so big that she cannot go back and tell the truth. If her parents are aware of the story, often they will not allow her to set the record straight, as they must save face for the families sake. This happens often.

So, she does not want her mom and dad furious with her, so the lie continues.

I don't think young children make up these things out of thin air, but I do think they take something that may not even be a crime and add to it to make a mountain out of a molehill.

In my case, the initial charges were "contributing to the delinquency of a minor." A month later, they became "child molestation," and three months later the charges morphed into first degree rape.

At the preliminary hearing she testified that she did not report the incident until she began reading an article in a "Seventeen" magazine about venereal diseases and pregnancies. She then worried that I had given her a venereal disease. Now don't ask to explain that, as it does not make a lot of sense to me, but as God is my witness, that is what happened.

I think I mentioned this to show that they get these kids mixed up so much when they start to pester them about their story that the victims themselves are not sure what happened.

In the letter she wrote me years later, she said that several times during the investigation, she wanted to tell the truth, but the DA and her father would not allow her to.

I have been through this mess.

The kids are not evil. They are kids and much of the problem is that they are constantly prodded by adults. Sometimes the adults fear the worst and finally the child relents to tell the adults what they want to hear.

Then, if the investigators start talking to her, she gets coached and the story becomes even worse for the defendant. The investigators become the enablers. Finally, sometimes the child even begins believing the story herself or they can get her so confused that she does not know WHAT to believe.

I have no idea if your husband is guilty or what. Nobody will ever know except him and the young lady. If he gets arrested, the DA will come up with some theory, but he doesn't know.

Kids are not always truthful and even nice guys can touch children and commit a crime.

rewdiazepam

I would definitely keep the info you have gathered a secret from the family, and only give it to an attorney (this is your husband's best defense if charges are ever brought against him).

Is there anyone else that you know that could have done this - usually it's a family member or close inner circle of the victim. Thinking back, to about that time, is there anything that sends a trigger signal of possible abuse occurring?

Like I said, I didn't know the abuse was happening, until after it was disclosed and then I saw warning signs.

Don't talk to anyone except your lawyer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My son just got 25yrs, and it started with a conversation without our friendly neighborhood DA. Watch them, they are a bunch of rats.

Rewdiazepam: She is going through that exact thing. Her self esteem is really low. She does feel like she doesn't get enough attention and she has said she is going to kill her self and received counseling for it. My sister is a single mother and always has a new man....most of her relationships only last at max 2 years then they fall apart and not even a month or two goes by without another guy coming in to the equation.(this has happened all her life) Its really odd to me that during therapy this has not come up...and that she always been regular around us. In fact she is happier when she is around her cousins and all of us! She found out recently that the person she thought was her dad is not.......she has a sister that is the daughter of the man she always known as a father....and he has a son in his new marriage. So this is the first summer she is spending with them knowing all the facts....I feel that she wants and needs attention and she is getting a lot right now I tell you! I hate to think this cause maybe she really is telling the truth at least she may think she is.....And Thoughtasweak yes there are several people that could have done this...even her mothers boyfriend son ( about a year ago she has a new boyfriend now) that could have did this to her....I mean there has been a great deal of different men in her life......all I can do is pray...and ask for guidance...and heed all of your warnings...get a lawyer ...say nothing to the police without my lawyer and do not talk to the family ....at all!

Thank you guys so much....I mean I was thinking about all the things you talked about.....I just needed an unbiased opinion!