I would confront him. Not accusingly, but bring it up casually. Ask him what is going on, and don't freak out if he tells you.

Or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, keep him entertained until your session. Make sure he has as little idle time as possible. Go bowling together, or take him to the mall, or make suppers big ordeals that last for two hours. Just do your best to keep him out of trouble, then either discuss what to do with the therapist, or bring it up in front of the therapist.

Good luck. The hardest part is yet to come, getting him out of it. Keep your chin up, and this is a great place to come to get help on the subject!

Thanks joleneLS. I'm calling the therapist tomorrow to give him a "heads up" on the situation & I will take his advice on whether or not to confront my son before the session--or wait to talk about it there with the therapist present so he can mediate and guide me (us).

Again, thank you for answering. I felt so lonely and still do some extent. But knowing that there are people out there willing to be supportive makes it a bit easier to handle. Hugs.

Glad to offer any help I can, for me it was my sister who was lost in the world of drugs, but I have a 16 month old daughter and I can't imagine what it must feel like to see your child balancing on that cliff, teetering above oblivion.

Hopefully it all works out for you, and your therapist can give you the advice you need! And good for you for catching it, we didn't catch my sister's problems until much to late for our liking. You were vigilant and for that you deserve kudos.

If you can afford it please call St Jude's and see what you can do to remove him from your area. He is dealing, lieing to therapist. Maybe he needs a tougher lesson before he is lost to drugs for a long time.
The man who started St Judes has a soft spot for teens he wants to help them. I know he helped several while my ex was there. I did have to pay $1000.00 up front but the remainder could be paided over the year. If will probley be higher now but if you can swing it I think it can help him. Be tough on him, don't let him run all over you, don't let himuse the car, no cell I;m sure your paying for it. Turn if off. I once had to sit on my daughter but I did to keep her from going anywhere. She was on drugs for a few years but thankfully she is a mom and works for a attorney and is doing really well.

Thanks Katrinka. He can't drive, the cell phone is in my ex-husband's name (who is on another planet--total denial---if he can't see it, then it doesn't exist.)
At this point, I'll look anywhere for help. Thanks again.

Katrinka, I looked at the info on St. Jude's. Looks like an awesome place & actually wouldn't be far at all. The cost is the biggest hurdle. My ex-husband has plenty of money, but doesn't like to part with it. (Yes, even for something as important as this. He's very "new age". Refused to take our son to ER when he had ingested Klonopin. For fear that he might get a record or they'll question his parenting abilities. Which, quite frankly, went down the tubes when our son was about 12 & could form his own opinions.)

They sent me detailed info about financial aid, so I look into that. Thanks again.

I hope you can work it out. Ex needs a
re-adjustment in his thinking so your son can get some help he needs.

He is 17. You can make him take a drug test. You can take away his phone. Definitely get professional help. Trust your intution. Best wishes.

Contact your local police department and see if they will assist you in scaring the pants off him! Unfortunately, kids of that age do not understand consequences.

There's no need to judge you. You did the right thing to protect your son. Knowledge is power. You need to know what is really going on in your son's life so you know what you are dealing with. Otherwise, you don't know what to believe.

WoMom1, I sent you a friend request. I see lots of similarities between your situation and mine, and I'm about a year ahead of you. Maybe you can see what to expect from reading my journals, and since you are doing so many things right, maybe you can even advise me!

You can also see some of the other moms with sons our age that comment on my journals. You are not alone. Sadly, there are way too many of us.

all i can say is good luck and try you hardest to get control now before its too late, maybe you can help him along with professionals and get him out of this ''WEB" OF DRUGS and help him get it together, im really sorry for you and your family.

Talk to the therapist asap. This is going to be tough! But how you handle this may be what saves your sons life. This is a world that will suck your son in and not let go! I have lost on daughter to the world of pills, pain pills..valium, you name it. When I first found out I talked to her til I was blue in the face but nothing worked. I wish I had done something becuase now it's too late. I had people to tell me that tough love was the only way to go but I wasnt tough enough. I thought it would go away..Not going to happen! I pray that you can get though to your son. V

I saw your update on the discussion board and wanted to send my prayers and thoughts your way. You're doing great. God bless.

Thank you.

Confrontation done. Probably the hardest thing I've had to do in 17 years. Laid down the law, so to speak. I was very clear about what needed to happen and the consequences if it doesn't. Went about as well as it could.
My ex-husband was supportive on the phone with me prior to the "confrontation". And he echoed my words to our son after the confrontation--he called him later. So I was totally thrown for a loop when I got back on the phone with him and he ripped into me about something that shouldn't even be in the line of sight right now. (Our son getting a job.) I told him that we need to take things one step at a time. My son needs to prove that he can change his behavior and make better choices---for a consistent period of time. Then, maybe, we can re-visit the job idea. He had me so rattled when I hung up I was shaking.
I should have listened to the therapist. His words were, "You know what? You are raising your son right now, you are living with this daily. Your son self-admittedly said that his relationship with his father is tenuous at best. Your ex didn't want to be a part of it when you first brought this issue to his attention. So perhaps you don't need to burden yourself with his sh*t on the same day that you confront your son." Ah well.....
Now I need to try and find a TEEN support group. The AA & NA groups around our area are not appropriate & the outpatient teen clinic is horrible. And during this time period, I 'd like him to have some support other than the therapist. Any ideas? (I DID IT! WHEW!)