Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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Somebody help me

cab6
cab6
I am at the end of my rope. Youngest son was picked up at school with oxy and vicoden in his backpack. He won't be able to graduate. I know this because he was expelled 2 years ago for having a pot pipe in his backpack. He's been struggling to catch up since. My middle son admitted to opiate use in October, was diagnosed with bipolar and refused to comply with treatment. He's claiming to be ok and is living with a marginal job as a waiter. Oldest son has been a heroin addict for 11 years. Sober off & on. Isn't one drug addicted son enough sheer pain for one mother to bear? I'm truly dying inside.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess katrika is more aware of this type of situation I am jjust a newbee. But if my son were buying dope for a 18 year old she would be reported as well . JMO..
nicolejrzgrl
nicolejrzgrl
I was addicted at one time and until my parents washed their hands of me it was then that I had no choice but to get clean. It was tough love that did it for me. U have to let them hit rock bottom. My prayers r with u and ur family. keep me posted
deleted_user
deleted_user
The thread header is "Somebody help me" So here is what I would do to help you...I would tell you that you cannot do anything about most of this. It is taking on a life of its own. You can only change the thing in the middle of it all, and that is you. Get some support for yourself. You cannot change the lives of people who do not want to change. Katrina is right on about the youngest, and then that will be up to him as well.

I cannot imagine keeping this all in and trying to manage/worry about such pain each and every day. The only part of this equation you can do anythig about is what you bring to it. Please get some support and help. Take care of yourself.
katrinka
katrinka
Cindyella its not that I don't think its wrong to do anything about this girlfriend but more like red flags have been going off for a few years and nothing was done.
With 3 son's all doing drugs there is more to this picture then we are seeing. Not to mention proving all this about taking pills to girlfriend is hearsay. My daughters best friend is head of Narc. where we live. They arrest drug dealer and the drug dealers get bailed out before the end of the his shift. Arresting addicts isn't the answer we need to be educating and getting them help. Its a catch 22. Sad but true.
This 17 yr old is probley 17 going on 20 if you understand what I'm talking about.
She is in my prayers for these young adults.
My AH came froma family similar to this all do drugs, its a sad story that addiction is handed down to each generation until someone breaks the chain. Sometimes on one of the documentary channels is a show on drugs and how they came to be so rampant its amazing how each drug was introduced to fix a different addiction. Only each time it just made people be addicted to the next drug.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree kat, I do not believe incarceration is always the answer. I guess the idea of some love struck young kid delivering dope to this gal pissed me off. I really know nothing except what was told here. Hugs and peace
cab6
cab6
Thank you all for your suggestions. It seems to be true that addictions run in families, there are several alcoholics and one drug addict on husband's side of the family. They don't live near here and I thought just seeing their behavior on the holidays when we'd visit would be a deterent. My husband and I never drank, smoked or anything. Went to church, I only worked little part-time jobs so I could stay home with the kids and volunteer at the school. My daughter participated in athletics and now has a professional position and a master's degree. All boys decided to be musicians and artists. I just don't know what happened. Wouldn't seeing your older brother lose everything time and time again because of the addiction make you want to be straight-edge?
katrinka
katrinka
When kids are in their teens they experience drinking and using drugs. Not all but alot these days. At first its fun there are no problems in their life from the drug use or drinking. But then one day they can no longer stop, the problems start and it becomes a addiction. Just hanging around the wrong crowd for a short time will influence them they want to fit in.
Seeing what happens to the older brother doesn't usually deter instead they think he looks like he's having fun or any number of things.
Can't you get your son into some counseling if all threes did drugs and neither your husband or you did any drugs or drank. I know in my family my brother and sister had low self esteem and both drank and did drugs. made them feel better for alittle while. Both have quit now but my brother drank for years. This site had alot of information on teen drug use it minght help you.
http://www.drugrehabtreatment.com/alternative-therapies-for-addiction.html
Good luck.
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