Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Submerged into the nightmare of my brothers addiction we were unaware that cancer was colonizing my fathers body. Life was revolving around my brothers non-existence and along did we sing the song of nothingness, day in and day out.
My father has inoperable stage four colon cancer. What if he had listened to his body closer last year when his liver was hurting? What if he had gone for that colonoscopy 10 years ago? What if he hadnt been drinking the poison my brother offered him so generously?
Were 8 months post diagnosis and hes on his 10th cycle of chemo. Right now he is at the great outdoors, making plans for the future, doing his garden, preparing the country house for the summer. Having gone, though, through a very cruel winter, I know he is not invincible. He is inoperable. I am having a hard time accepting that theres no cure for him. If only we had paid closer attention to him when pressing against his liver to alleviate the pain. He wouldnt have listened to us, though, I know. He was consumed by his son. He lived and breathed for him, like we did. Dad, damn it, dad. Well be fine, hell be fine I dont even know what that means, but I have to say it.
Its excruciatingly painful to exclaim if only cause theres no turning back. My father dared express out loud that horrendous if only only once. Silence. If silence can be hollow, that was one hell of a hollow silence in which my mother and I sunk.
PLEASE, DO NOT FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF during this unfair journey of addiction. Go get your pap smear test, your mammogram, your colonoscopy. Take care of yourself. Make that call today and get your appointment fixed. Dont think about it twice, just do it.
With all my love,
Pen
P.S.I gather, if I had put a "catchy" subject line more people would read this. I cannot bring myself to it though. So, please, add your response, even if it is just a line, so that more people see the post.
My father has inoperable stage four colon cancer. What if he had listened to his body closer last year when his liver was hurting? What if he had gone for that colonoscopy 10 years ago? What if he hadnt been drinking the poison my brother offered him so generously?
Were 8 months post diagnosis and hes on his 10th cycle of chemo. Right now he is at the great outdoors, making plans for the future, doing his garden, preparing the country house for the summer. Having gone, though, through a very cruel winter, I know he is not invincible. He is inoperable. I am having a hard time accepting that theres no cure for him. If only we had paid closer attention to him when pressing against his liver to alleviate the pain. He wouldnt have listened to us, though, I know. He was consumed by his son. He lived and breathed for him, like we did. Dad, damn it, dad. Well be fine, hell be fine I dont even know what that means, but I have to say it.
Its excruciatingly painful to exclaim if only cause theres no turning back. My father dared express out loud that horrendous if only only once. Silence. If silence can be hollow, that was one hell of a hollow silence in which my mother and I sunk.
PLEASE, DO NOT FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF during this unfair journey of addiction. Go get your pap smear test, your mammogram, your colonoscopy. Take care of yourself. Make that call today and get your appointment fixed. Dont think about it twice, just do it.
With all my love,
Pen
P.S.I gather, if I had put a "catchy" subject line more people would read this. I cannot bring myself to it though. So, please, add your response, even if it is just a line, so that more people see the post.
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My 5 year old came forward on March 5th That another child in his class was reaching into his pants under his underwear and touching his penis each time he was in this class. The offending child and him sat alone at the table, clearly out of sight. He was trapped because he was afraid of disrupting class and afraid of the other kids, laughing if they knew what happened. The disturbed child...
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I was in an abusive relationship for 17 years it's the only relationship I've ever even been in so what I thought of as love im now finding out wasn't love at all and that sucks my dad says things like I just need to let it go and it's insulting frankly. I let it go for 17 years just because I'm no longer being abused doesn't mean the pain and anger are gone. I refuse to let it go when I was...
I am so sorry about your dad. I play the what-if game with myself all the time. My husband has health issues and I always wonder- what if I had or he had done something different.
my son, the recovering alcoholic, still smokes. makes me crazy.
funny timing...I have a mammogram today...I am a couple of years past due. Had the gyno exam last week. Between everyone's health issues and putting everyone first...I thought (foolishly) that yoga classes weekly were taking care of myself. Not enough.
I will pat myself on the back for following up with 3 doctors about a spot on my eyelid...turned out to be skin cancer....
You are so correct. we are the only ones who can look after ourselves. And Dad ignored all his warnings.
I hope you can enjoy your times together, and be present in the moment without the what if's of the past or worrying about the future. I hope you are taking care of you. Love you.
I am not around DS as often as I used to be, so your skin cancer diagnosis comes a big shock. I hope you are doing well. Early diagnosis is so important!
Hugs!
take care of yourself. enjoy your time with your precious father xoxo
This is a great reminder to look after our selves and to pay attention to those little things are bodies are trying to tell us. Sorry to hear about your Dad. Enjoy your time with your Dad and take care of you.
I also have put off my life time and time again for my son.
I have isolated others...Maybe a miracle will happen with your Dad?
Why give Chemo if it will only make him sicker? Maybe they think there is a chance they can minimize it to operable state?
You're spot on, we lose sight of those so important Dr's visits! Thank you for the selfless reminder you've posted for us.
Hugs to you and your family, give your Dad a big hug from all of us, we'll be praying for him and you....Keep him positive and present.
I am so sorry about your dad. I will keep him in my prayers. Try to take time to take care of yourself too.
God will give you all the strength you need and be with you all the way.
Hug.
If you don't take care of yourself first, how will you be able to take care of others?
Big hugs
I'm mentioning this because I want to share smt that might be of help to your loved ones suffering with addiction. My father has been taking, since day 1, milk thisle in order to protect his -already damaged- liver from chemo. I did quite a bit of reading on it and how it helps damaged liver recuperate (on top of working with chemo). I'm very sceptical regarding "wonder drugs" and consider myself to be able to read scientif info in a way that's helpful and meaningful to me. I also talked with his doctors and they were OK with it. Also, I found that in Germany milk thisle is actually part of the treatment protocol, in certain cancer clinics.
Milk thisle is especially helpful in cases of chirrosis, but can be also taken by anyone whose liver is overworked.
The other day my father's oncologist was adamant I have to be checked for colon cancer every two years. One of our closest friends was recently diagnosed with terminal colon cancer, like my dad. Our health is the most important thing we have. No matter our circumstances, our health comes FIRST.
Take care!
WISH YOU AND FAMILY WELL, BLESSINGS**
We can become so outer-directed that we often forget to care for ourselves. Grateful for your kindness in sharing. Even when taking an airline flight, the reminder is given that the oxygen mask goes at first to one's own face before assisting others.