openfacedsandwich

About Me

Hi from Openfacedsandwich, so named for being in the sandwich generation but with only one \"slice of bread\" (no kids, was caring for my Mom who passed away in February \'14.) Dad passed away a decade before. I divorced a few years back from a guy with undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. He evaded most accountability for his aberrant behavior one on one with me. I\'m the oldest of three adult siblings -- my younger sister has a long history of drug abuse, and being \"kept\" by various men. She hasn\'t worked in decades, unexplained, and for whatever reasons in 2010 the family was ordered to cease and desist any contact with her. Since then, she stayed totally estranged, and never showed up for Mom at her deathbed or at the funeral. But Damn if she wasn\'t the first one in line at the division of property meeting with the lawyer -- putting on the charming Little Mary Sunshine act like nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened and she now was waiting for her share. Mom decided that even though her daughter estranged herself, Mom wouldn\'t do that to one of her kids. And she divided the estate in 3rds so that Brother and I wouldn\'t get tied up in probate. Mom knew how vengeful my sister could be. My brother is a widower. His stepson was killed by tainted heroin, A drug buddy had abandoned him to bleed out and my brother found him. My brother\'s wife (the stepson\'s mother) had a long history of alcoholism and in her grief she drank herself to death less than 6 months after her son died. My brother I thought was essentially a good guy but is still very caught up in enabling the network of drug buddies, one of whom posed as my Brother on the phone and tried to extort money from our very hard-of-hearing Mom. Brother denied any involvement, to the cops, but there\'s no way that\'s true. Brother has a new girlfriend, mostly likely a gambling addict in a family fraught with addiction. Brother never got help with the wife and stepson\'s deaths, has immense anger and probably guilt. He was beyond irresponsible in caring for my Mom as she declined -- I think it brought back a lot of the trauma, but he couldn\'t admit it. And took a very lazy and selfish way out while maintaining a \"good image\". It all fell on my shoulders, from Mom\'s decline to hospice care to her death to the funeral to all the details afterwards with the house, the modest estate, etc. Brother apparently finds it more to his advantage to ally himself with utterly sociopathic sister although he had considered her absence reprehensible. And the level of deception, passive aggressive acting out, lying and projected rage from those two is just enormous. Brother sent an email \"olive branch\" which required me to accept his revisionist history. I refused and we are no longer in touch at all. So i have no immediate family left and I\'m dealing with those losses and my PTSD from the abandonment by my siblings and their horrific behavior. Grateful for a good community of friends, though, and I\'m healing.