Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Just discovered that not only is my 19 yr old son using but he is selling. I have a planned a family "intervention" without a professional intervenor for Sunday. The plan is to tell him that he is completely cut off financially and that he must seek some kind of counseling. The hardest part for me is not to enable him. What should I be doing? Providing him food and shelter. I will not allow my child to be cold or hungry. As for me, I need a project, other than him of course, I feel like I need to be doing something for others who are going through this. Maybe starting a Naranon group in my community. Something to help me keep my sanity!!!!
I don't know what the search and seizure laws are in your state, but if your son is selling drugs, he is putting you and your entire family in legal danger of losing your property (car, house). There is absolutely NO WAY I would allow a drug dealer to live in my home or to ever use my car.
And if you know he's selling, then you can be considered an accomplice to his crime. I have two friends who were tried for "conspiracy" because they knew their kids were selling drugs and tried to manage it (protect their adult children) without cooperating with the police.
Your son is so young and I know your heart is broken. I know you don't want him to be homeless or to ever go hungry. But he's making some seriously bad decisions that can have far-reaching consequences for everyone in your family.
Starting a naranon group would be an EXCELLENT project for you and would help so many people who struggle with these issues.
I just realized you originally posted this in January. I hope things are going well for all of you now and would love an update!
My 2nd husband had 3 girls. The oldest was mentally challenged due to be born a crack baby. And she does not drink or drug. The middle daughter drinks and is still living in the ghetto where her dad raised her. The youngest.....she admired her dad. He was "God". And they all "enabled" her. They told me they couldn't throw her in rehab. They could not see her arrested for selling herself and drugs and they said that I was unreasonable and too harsh. In 2008, she died of an overdose at the age of 19. Had I held my line, insisted the girl go to rehab and give her consequences for using....perhaps she would still be alive.
So, go ahead and make life easy for him. Don't see that he gets into rehab. Let him sell drugs to other kids who could die, like my step-daughter did.
To me, this is war. And you have to fight it with everything you have.