Tate.....you are not horrible...or selfish...YOU are a strong woman who has a debilitating and destroying disease that has no cure and can cause you to have a world of health problems and issues. You also have a disease that may cause you to have infertility issues. I know how u feel when u say "How can they not cherish the fact they can have children" I get very angry when someone I know tells me about how they have had an abortion or many of them. It really ticks me off. There are MILLIONS of women out there who cannot get pregnant and want a baby...even if they have to adopt...I can't tell you how to cope with this because everyone copes in their own way...even if u feel it is wrong it's not because everyone does it differently. The only thing I can tell u is try and be positive and understand that other women and people who do not have endo have no CLUE...they dont know what it is like or how it makes us feel....they havent dreamed about having children since they found out they were sick many years before....they havent thought about having children every day even if it is not something we are planning to do just yet......You are allowed to feel this way....Have you maybe thought of sitting her down and calmly tell her how this makes you feel? Communication is the key to anything in life. I hope i helped a little. :) xoxox

@ Taters tlahue said exactly what I was going to say. You ARE NOT selfish or horrible. She is not thinking of your fertility issues only her own possible ones. Trust me when I say you did not enter her mind when she was rambling on. It is selfish on her part but DO NOT let that affect you. I can only imagine how you feel but WE are here for you so try to ignore the ignorance and dont worry pretty girl. Just do what YOU need to do to get better and let miserable people stay miserable by themselves. You have enough shitt o do besides worrying about some stupid little girl.

BUT i will add if she continously talks about it to you i would tell her that that is a very touchy issue for you and although you love her and are concerned you can not talk to her about it. And tell whoever is coming back to you about her talking to STOP.

Love ya! ((((HUGS))))

Sweetie, you certainly are not selfish or horrible. You have dealt with so much in your young life. Jase's sister sounds very immature and attention seekingbut without any real knowledge of what she is saying.
You have been a great support to her over the last few months but it seems to be the time has come , as Tiahue says, to have a talk to her telling her how she makes you feel and what infertility actually means to a woman. As for her best friend who has "had three abortions by 18/19" - well, that says it all.
You have to put your own health and emotional state as your top priority.
Love and hugs
angel

I think you have the right to feel the way you feel. However two things, 1) maybe she's really hurting over being told that. PCOS causes just as much if not more infertility than endo. So though the dr may have told her it will go away ( which is really stupid, pcos doesn't just go away!) he doesn't know if it will or will not.
2) though you may feel hurt by her talking about it she hasn't really done anything to you or to minimize your pain/struggle. You may have difficulty getting/staying pregnant but you don't know that you will so she isn't being insensitive to you. If you knew for certain you could not have kids or you were having difficulties then I could see how you might feel she was being insensitive.
I also don't understand how it is that everyone thinks this girl is being selfish! She's facing something that many of us are probably going to...why should she not be allowed to talk about it and get sympathy. We all want that from others too right?
I don't think you are bring a horrible person for having the feelings
you are having!! So please don't think I'm saying that at all. I understand your feelings completely ...and have had them myself. I just had two friends have their 5th and 6th kids....and I thought " really?!? Ok I'm happy for them but really?!? I'd like just one!!". So I understand you...and empathize....but I think instead of treating her like that you should embrace her! Talk with her. Share your story and struggles with her. You said yourself you don't talk about your potential infertility....so how is she to know this is something you too may struggle with? PCOS is a real disease that has real consequences just like endo and it's often misunderstood like endo. We all know how frustrating that is to us.
So instead of letting it eat you up and make you angry find something positive to do with it.
One other thing....you said you've had friends with pcos tell her she has nothing to worry about....how does it make you feel when someone tells you that about endo! Every woman's body responds differently to both of these diseases and no one can tell you how it is or isn't going to effect you. We all know this with our own struggles with endo.

I hope you are having a better day today!!!
I hope you are able to talk with Jaces sis. Maybe what she needs most is someone else who truly understands what she's probably feeling. Huge hugs to you!!! You are very strong!!!

Thanks ladies, I did feel awful about what I said, maybe thats telling me something too.
Christine I udnerstand completely, and thats why I felt horrible, I wanted to do everything I could to help her, but she doesn't want my help, I offered to pay for doctors appointments to see someone who knows what they're talking about. She wants this doctor who couldn't even read her ultrasounds! I just feel helpless and then she talks about infertility and cysts popping like it's nothing, both are PAINFUL.
Also, she hasn't got PCOS she has PCO so hence why he said they'll dissolve and she shouldn't have too many at once. He said she probably grew a few more and thats why it's messed with her period at the moment. He's going to put her on a stronger pill and he said she should be fine then. I don't overly trust her doctor. I understand how painful they are - I get them too..not just on my ovaries, everywhere.
I guess I put it down to last night why it hurts, is not only she is being frivolous about it - if she is infertile, I have no chance in hell, and I have hope you know...so when she speaks like this I have no hope.

Last night after I wrote this/during it, I was in AGONY my uterus/vagina etc. I took an endone (morphine) to help out it got to a horrible point. Im curled up shaking and she comes in and goes "whats up?" and I said "im in agony, I'll be right hun" and she jumps on my bed and goes "me too a cyst just burst" with a smile on her face. Last time I checked cysts hurt like hell when they burst.

I want to help but she's not taking this seriously enough...she wants sympathy without suffering and taking help. God what I wouldn't have given to have someone know what they were talkinmg about when I was 9 - my mum would have let them take me anywhere if she knew they knew it would help/knew what they were talking about.

I guess we all deal with things differently, I'll always be there for support even if it continuously breaks my heart how she's going about this. It's not serious to her, it's deadly serious for me. I think thats the difference, I think I need to let her deal with her and let me deal with me.

Thanks for listening and not judging! That means alot ladies

That makes more sense as to why you'd be so angry. And I think that is exactly what you need to do...let her worry about herself...you don't need that stress on top of everything you go thru! You've tried to reach out...you've tried to help...if she isn't taking it and it's only bringing you stress then you need to just let it be. No matter how painful her words are to you. She can say what she wants and act how she wants...but she can't make you feel bad about those things...you can choose how you respond to those things. For your own sake you have to figure out how to just let it roll off your back. Trust me, I know it is so hard. But it's in your best intrest...health wise.
Cysts hurt like a Muthaf*cker when they burst!!! I've had more than one do so and I thought I was gonna die! I ovulated yesterday...or was suppose to...and I have a cyst today...it hurts, I can feel it when I sit down..and when I walk. It hasn't burst yet....but I know it's there. ugh.
stay strong friend!!! This is a place to vent and we all have sholders to cry on!

Thanks Christine =)
*hugs* you're all such a wonderful bunch of ladies! :) Thanks for not judging me!
xx

:-)

taters you are FAR from being selfish and uncaring! I hate to say this but some people like attention and will use health issues like infertility to get it. either A. she wants attention or B she is looking for support and thinking "bragging" about this disorder will help her get the support she wants. honestly pco in my opinion is just numerous functional cysts on each ovary that will go away on its own which functional cysts usually always do. sometimes it will take a person to live in another persons shoes to REALLY know what life is like dealing with a real condition that will never go away or dissolve own its own. i wish my doctor would tell me my endo could go away. i would be happy as hell! i know your frustration especially when dealing with endo knowing its the leading cause of infertility verses someone who just wants sympathy and not really deal with something long term. just hang in there! this is still really new for her and over time she will stop. btw are you and jace trying to have a baby right now?

Tate-- you're always there for us when we need you, you vent all you want! I understand what you mean...except kind of different. I see a lot of girls on my facebook who are super young and have babies...and all their pictures are of them partying. It drives me CRAZY to see them not take care of their children when we struggle so much to have a child that we would love and never leave for parties.

btw--I agree with all the cyst rupture comments. They hurt like none other. Mine put me in the emergency room...I thought I was dying.

Anyway, don't let her get to you hun, you're awesome.

Sabrina, no we're not, but we've been told we could/more than likely will be in for a hard time, especially now with adenomyosis. But I like to think positively, I will have miracle babies ;)
It's just it's so hard to keep positive when someone is living with you saying those things, especially when she's not experiencing infertility. Having your doctor tell you things are begining to stack up against you in a very serious tone at 20 when you DREAM of being a mother, we've had to discuss kids, quite seriously discuss them. I have support from my parents and jases parents if at any time we decide to go for it. But we would like for me to finish university first (2 years more to go) atleast, so I have something to go to if that makes sense. We're trying to think of our child/rens futures. I was hoping to be 25ish...and we're going to see how things pan out over the next few years. But I dunno, Im sure you all understand, it breaks my heart.

A friend picked me up from uni today because I was in such a state with pain/emotionally. She welcomed me at the door and my friend said "hey how are you?" and she said "hi im sore" and continued to run around laughing, while I went straight to bed to curl up into a ball and attempt to study. When she says that I wonder what it's going to be like for her when a large cyst pops/bursts one day...she's not going to realise what hit her, and I think only then will she get it. I wish it'd go away for her and she'd be healthy again, I'd love nothing more for her to not have any worries and enjoy life. I wish also she'd take my advice and help, I'm offering it left right and centre you know, I'm even offering to pay and I'm broke as from my own medical expenses!

I see my phsychologist next week, maybe she can help me with strategies.


Im trying so hard to support her but she's being so frivilous about it which makes me wonder....


I mean..maybe she wants my attention? My best friend seems to think she wants any kind of attention good or bad because of the way they were brought up. But Jase isn't like that... far from.

Im just taking one day as it comes, im so emotional right now, I think my period might be coming...earlier...again. Everything is weighing on me, you know when things are like that?
I just want to get better so badly...so so badly...I just want to know everything will be ok. I just need to keep positive, as best I can.

Also thanks everyone for not making mention of this on facebook, I vent here so I don't on facebook. If I am going to address the problem and when I do/ if I have to I want to do it face to face.

Hi I read your post and I want to tell you and your sister you have nothing to worry about! I have had many cycst, suspended uterus, closed L tube, endo~4,etcccc and on and on! And I'm now preg. The key is to NEVER give up and fight this thing! Do you know how many times the docs have said to me well you won't you can't and I just REFUSED to accept that! Doc aren't always right if you ask me GOD is in control!!!!! So I suggest you guys turn to GOD and fight this! Always get more than one docs opinion!!! IF is very trickey!!!! You have to find that one doc in the hay stack that cares! Do some research and ask many questions! And be strong for your sister there IS hope!!!I am proof!Good luck and my prayers go out to you both.

Dang it! I had a reply written and lost it! Ugh!!
Hope today is a good day for you! How were you diagnosed with adenomyosis? I've read it can be suspected but only truly diagnosed after a hysterectomy.
Also, if her cysts are just dissolving and not actually bursting then that's not really painful. At least not even close to as painful as them bursting. I just had one dissolve in the last two days....yes it hurt and was uncomfortable but I didn't even take pain meds.
How old is this girl??