Empty Nests Support Group
Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.
I don't want to share too many personal details. Suffice it to say that my son & his long-distance girlfriend let me think (because they told me) that they'd live in our home state. They decided to live in hers.
I was NOT planning on seeing them all the time, but I thought it would be wonderful if we could get together even once a month.
So, her parents have all of their kids living nearby and hubby & I have none - other child is a few hours away in another state.
I have cried every day for the past month and it's been worse since he actually moved. I see his pictures and see his closed bedroom door and my heart breaks all over again. At this point I don't know if it's because I miss my kids or because I got my hopes up that he'd stay nearby.
I have a therapist and am on antidepressants. The therapist said this is normal and it will get better.
Can someone tell me when?
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A tree outside where I live is dying, seemingly from dog urine----with the bully in my building going out his way to not only have his dog urinate there but to have the dog urinate on the fence and sign I bought to try save the tree----and then slide the sign under my apt door.Turns out that was a TRIGGER for me----bullying and humialtion right out of high school. I didn't realize it at the...
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I am suffering from the inability to cope with ordinary every day things. From my housework to watching tv or reading a book. I get palpatations, nervousness, at the moment my heart is palpatating and all I am doing is typing this. I am so scared its silly, I just want to stay in bed and just get up for meals and coffee. Not that that is going to happen. At the moment I have my daughter...
First I thought of getting. a pet but didn't want the responsiblity. Then I decided to buy an "Aerogarden", it an indoor hydroponic gardening system. I HAD to have something to take care of. So I started growing Tomatoes and lettuce in my apartment. It eased the pain in the beginning, until I got used to being in an empty house. It did help me. It is normal what you are going through, because I felt the same way. Get a pet or something to take care of. Volunteer. Take walks. Keep busy. The pain will slowly subside, but yes, I know how you feel. Just keep talking to your counselor too, and write on here.
My third child who is an adult now. , moved out 2 weeks ago. Even though it’s my third child to leave the nest, the pain is raw and deep.
I’m so sad
I’m just missing him so so much and wanting to text him all day but trying to control myself. I know how quickly that can turn sour and they need some space to adjust as well. So I’m trying so hard to pre occupy my mind.
Time will help us all. Stay as busy as you can.
I’m sorry you are hurting. You are not alone. I know how hard it is to look at pictures and be reminded of times that have passed.. I’m in a one bedroom apartment now, but before I moved it was hard seeing his closed bedroom door. Sometimes I would forget he wasn’t in there, and when I remembered, it made me cry. I wish I could tell you when the pain will go away. Know that others understand. If you need to “talk,” you can message me. Much love to you.
Lizzie
Please change your self talk to something positive instead of the catastrophe of life now being over and you not being loved. If you say "I will never see my sons again" or "I will never see my Grand kids" you will be miserable. This is probably not true anyway. You can go visit them. Yes, you will have to make the effort and go to visit them and maybe even stay in a hotel. My adult kids rarely come to visit me. I downsized and then had a garden to work on, and a house to decorate, I joined a couple of book clubs. This time is the beginning of your next journey in life and life is calling you to come enjoy it! Find a new purpose: volunteer with children or animals or teach ESL or something fun.
Right now you feel your purpose is gone but I am hear to say your purpose is right around the corner. And, you can support others on this forum because you know what it is like. Today I feel lonely because my spouse is out of town and I am feeling sick. But this is simply a mindset to work around, not the truth of my entire life. I am rooting for you, I know you will create a bold, positive new life. Big hugs, much love to you.