Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I'm really scared and nervous right now, and am looking for some advice. I'm a 22 year old college student and have had anorexia since age 15. Recently, I have relapsed pretty bad. My weight is at a low point, the same point it was when I was forced into an inpatient psych ward at age 17. My problem is restricting...I eat, and eat often throughout the day, but small portions. My intake is probably healthy for a very sedentary woman looking to lose weight. I do not purge or overexercise (though I do deal with exercise guilt/feeling like I need to workout to deserve to eat).
My doctor and dietitian, who I've been working with for a year, have recommended inpatient treatment because I haven't been able to make significant progress as an outpatient, I also have OCD/anxiety which complicates things, and because my weight is low. She has recommended a few specific places and I am supposed to call tomorrow to look into them and see if my insurance will cover anything. However, my flight to go back to school leaves on Wednesday, so I basically have 3 days to make a decision.
I am at a loss as to what to do. I WANT to believe I can do this outpatient. I feel in the past year, I've made significant progress mentally. I've realized that my eating disorder will never get me the things I truly desire in life. I want to get better. But at the same time, I'm not sure I'm willing to surrender all control and go inpatient. And I know treatment will not be effective until I am ready. But I'm afraid I'm passing up an opportunity to get better. I am afraid I won't gain the weight on my own, as I've had the past few years to do so, and besides some small gains, haven't been successful. But I want to go back to school so badly. I signed a lease on an apartment to get away from living with my alcoholic mother and her boyfriend, and feel this would be a positive change for me. I have a therapist and dietitian who I trust, and am the most ready I have ever been to recover. But I feel like nobody believes in me and my ability to recover outpatient, and I don't know if I believe in myself.
I'm so sorry for rambling...I am just so afraid right now and have nobody to talk to. When I try to talk to my mom, she gets hostile and threatens to commit me involuntarily. I've tried telling her these threats are not helpful, but she won't let up. If anyone could offer me advice or anything I will be forever grateful. Thank you so much for listening.
My doctor and dietitian, who I've been working with for a year, have recommended inpatient treatment because I haven't been able to make significant progress as an outpatient, I also have OCD/anxiety which complicates things, and because my weight is low. She has recommended a few specific places and I am supposed to call tomorrow to look into them and see if my insurance will cover anything. However, my flight to go back to school leaves on Wednesday, so I basically have 3 days to make a decision.
I am at a loss as to what to do. I WANT to believe I can do this outpatient. I feel in the past year, I've made significant progress mentally. I've realized that my eating disorder will never get me the things I truly desire in life. I want to get better. But at the same time, I'm not sure I'm willing to surrender all control and go inpatient. And I know treatment will not be effective until I am ready. But I'm afraid I'm passing up an opportunity to get better. I am afraid I won't gain the weight on my own, as I've had the past few years to do so, and besides some small gains, haven't been successful. But I want to go back to school so badly. I signed a lease on an apartment to get away from living with my alcoholic mother and her boyfriend, and feel this would be a positive change for me. I have a therapist and dietitian who I trust, and am the most ready I have ever been to recover. But I feel like nobody believes in me and my ability to recover outpatient, and I don't know if I believe in myself.
I'm so sorry for rambling...I am just so afraid right now and have nobody to talk to. When I try to talk to my mom, she gets hostile and threatens to commit me involuntarily. I've tried telling her these threats are not helpful, but she won't let up. If anyone could offer me advice or anything I will be forever grateful. Thank you so much for listening.
I still don't know what I'm doing. I really don't think I can commit myself to inpatient. My dietitian emailed me a list of treatment centers she recommends, but I'm too afraid to even call any and ask about insurance. Money is tight, and I would never want my dad paying a ton of money for this.
I want to go back to school and continue working outpatient w my therapist and dietitian, and give recovery my all this semester. I need to gain weight, and I know that. I'm sick of feeling and looking sick. But I'm so scared and will feel like such a coward if I don't do inpatient. I feel like my therapist and dietitian will be so disappointed in me, and I can't handle being a disappointment to people.