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A journal entry I wrote here on DS almost exactly a year ago. Please everyone feel free to add your own ED "gifts".
I got busted with laxatives again last night. I had picked them up on my way home from work yesterday and was going to take them at bedtime. I swear to God Rick has some type of fucking laxative sniff out hound dog or something. I got the whole "You say I treat you like a child and get angry but yet you pull this kind of bullshit" speech - quite the touching moment. JesusHChrist
In the spirit of a recovery attempt, here's a handy dandy list of gifts that ED has bestowed upon me:
My hair is falling out in great big clumps -again. The most interesting part of that has to be that I have massive hair on my arms and face that I get to wax off so I don't look like a monkey. Quite attractive.
I have hypoglycemia and get to check my blood sugar. I "check it often" (you'll only get that little joke if you have the diabetes commercial with the old moustached dude on it)
I get dizzy spells and have to scope out a place that can be used to sit down wherever I go in case I feel like I'm going to pass out. Usually that's the bathroom because my intestines are FUCKED up. Kill two birds with one stone that way. I'm quite the multitasker.
Speaking of bathrooms. I shit water or acid on most days. That's good, clean fun right there folks.
Insomnia - I get lots of quality quiet time between the hours of 2 and 6 am. Sleep is over-rated anyway.
I possess the ability to accidentally vomit into my mouth just by bending over too soon after I've eaten or had something to drink. Now I ask you - Is that a gift or WHAT?
My teeth have taken on a nice, yellowish hue over the years. It looks festive around Easter. The rotten ones come in handy for those last minute Halloween parties. Nobody can say this chick doesn't go all out for the holidays.
Beautiful raccoon eyes. Who among us wouldn't just kill for those? Even better are the days when I sport red eye AND raccoon eye. Don't be jealous.
Liver spots - keeps me occupied when I'm in the bathroom. Confused? Think about it. Built in, readily accesible connect-the-dots.
Free air conditioning with a thermostat that seems to be set at about 20 degrees below zero - Nice on those warm summer days when everyone else has to wear tank tops and bitches about the heat.
Third world country bloat belly - self explanatory.
My keen ability to focus on any task at hand. Errrr, what was I saying again?
Exciting leg cramps - Haven't yet figured out the benefit of these yet. WAIT! They DO give me something to occupy my time between the hours of 2 and 6 am.
Wow. What gifts. I don't even know why anyone would want recovery. Give all of this up? Could I at least keep the heart flutters and chest pains?
I got busted with laxatives again last night. I had picked them up on my way home from work yesterday and was going to take them at bedtime. I swear to God Rick has some type of fucking laxative sniff out hound dog or something. I got the whole "You say I treat you like a child and get angry but yet you pull this kind of bullshit" speech - quite the touching moment. JesusHChrist
In the spirit of a recovery attempt, here's a handy dandy list of gifts that ED has bestowed upon me:
My hair is falling out in great big clumps -again. The most interesting part of that has to be that I have massive hair on my arms and face that I get to wax off so I don't look like a monkey. Quite attractive.
I have hypoglycemia and get to check my blood sugar. I "check it often" (you'll only get that little joke if you have the diabetes commercial with the old moustached dude on it)
I get dizzy spells and have to scope out a place that can be used to sit down wherever I go in case I feel like I'm going to pass out. Usually that's the bathroom because my intestines are FUCKED up. Kill two birds with one stone that way. I'm quite the multitasker.
Speaking of bathrooms. I shit water or acid on most days. That's good, clean fun right there folks.
Insomnia - I get lots of quality quiet time between the hours of 2 and 6 am. Sleep is over-rated anyway.
I possess the ability to accidentally vomit into my mouth just by bending over too soon after I've eaten or had something to drink. Now I ask you - Is that a gift or WHAT?
My teeth have taken on a nice, yellowish hue over the years. It looks festive around Easter. The rotten ones come in handy for those last minute Halloween parties. Nobody can say this chick doesn't go all out for the holidays.
Beautiful raccoon eyes. Who among us wouldn't just kill for those? Even better are the days when I sport red eye AND raccoon eye. Don't be jealous.
Liver spots - keeps me occupied when I'm in the bathroom. Confused? Think about it. Built in, readily accesible connect-the-dots.
Free air conditioning with a thermostat that seems to be set at about 20 degrees below zero - Nice on those warm summer days when everyone else has to wear tank tops and bitches about the heat.
Third world country bloat belly - self explanatory.
My keen ability to focus on any task at hand. Errrr, what was I saying again?
Exciting leg cramps - Haven't yet figured out the benefit of these yet. WAIT! They DO give me something to occupy my time between the hours of 2 and 6 am.
Wow. What gifts. I don't even know why anyone would want recovery. Give all of this up? Could I at least keep the heart flutters and chest pains?
missyS
i think its very constructive to look back on past entries to try and see how far if at all u have perhaps come in ur recovery...and u know what girl? u use whatever fucking language u fucking want to god mother fucking damnit!
deleted_user
This post is very eye-opening and I think it is helpful and needs to be here! I feel that your language is appropriate for the hell that you are describing. Thank you so much for sharing. I feel more motivated to recover after reading it and I hope you wouldn't let one person's opinion steer you from the boards when you are helping so many others!
deleted_user
Oh my virgin ears! Great eye opener for anyone who things anorexia is glamorous. Thanks again Shari, nasty hell hole and awesome reminder that ED is a bitch. A raging bitch. XO
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