Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
My best friend in the whole entire world who knows everything about me that there is to know (the ED, the SI, the BPD...) and who I have been friends with forever and have been totally secretly crushing on for a while now just asked me out, like JUST, like 5 minutes ago. So this our first conversation as boyfriend and girlfriend:
Bobby - If I tell you something do you promise not to get offended.
Me - ummm...yeah, sure.
Bobby - Well, since we are going out now, don't get jelous or anything (cuz he knows that I get jelous easily) if I look at other girls.
Me - ok. As long as you're not flirting with them or trying to get with them, I'm cool about it.
Bobby - It's just that you're.....well....you're Fat.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?!
Me - silence
Bobby - Becky, are you still there?
Me - yeah, totally
Bobby - It's just that you're body doesnt have a very nice shape or anything. I mean, you're not sexy like all the other girls at school and you're thighs are a little big.
An then he went onto say that he would support me in losing weight and that he could give me tips like "maybe if you don't eat so much when you binge and purge than you could lose some weight."
This is the worst, most embarassing, most suicide tempting, most I-will-never-leave-my-house-again-because-I-am-so-Goddamn-FAT! thing that has ever happened to me.
I mean, I've allways told myself I was fat (especially since I gained back weight in Anorexia Recovery) and other girls at school have said shit about it before, but when he said it...I can't even describe it...I swear I would've sold my soul to satan in return for just 1 pound of fat melted off this ass!!!
I am 5'9" and I weight 135
(yeah yeah, I know we're not supposed to put stats but I think guys need to see what I'm working with here)
Someone help.
Bobby - If I tell you something do you promise not to get offended.
Me - ummm...yeah, sure.
Bobby - Well, since we are going out now, don't get jelous or anything (cuz he knows that I get jelous easily) if I look at other girls.
Me - ok. As long as you're not flirting with them or trying to get with them, I'm cool about it.
Bobby - It's just that you're.....well....you're Fat.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?!
Me - silence
Bobby - Becky, are you still there?
Me - yeah, totally
Bobby - It's just that you're body doesnt have a very nice shape or anything. I mean, you're not sexy like all the other girls at school and you're thighs are a little big.
An then he went onto say that he would support me in losing weight and that he could give me tips like "maybe if you don't eat so much when you binge and purge than you could lose some weight."
This is the worst, most embarassing, most suicide tempting, most I-will-never-leave-my-house-again-because-I-am-so-Goddamn-FAT! thing that has ever happened to me.
I mean, I've allways told myself I was fat (especially since I gained back weight in Anorexia Recovery) and other girls at school have said shit about it before, but when he said it...I can't even describe it...I swear I would've sold my soul to satan in return for just 1 pound of fat melted off this ass!!!
I am 5'9" and I weight 135
(yeah yeah, I know we're not supposed to put stats but I think guys need to see what I'm working with here)
Someone help.
i understand that you two have a history together and that you consider him a best friend, but because of all of this, and because he is aware that you have issues with food, he should NOT be making comments about your weight. i understand how you feel because i visited an old friend about a month ago, and he (the asshole) told me i looked "lazy." i know he meant that i've put on weight, but who in their right mind would make this kind of comment to anyone? your boyfriend sounds like a toolbag, and i'm sorry to sound so harsh, but do you think it's a good idea to continue dating someone like this? do not stay with him just because he knows about your problems and accepts them. you will find other people who will see the beauty in you. you are not overweight in the least regard, and even if you were, WHO THE F$@K DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS? you should be getting ANGRY at him, not feeling like you should never leave the house again. you should also tell him how much this comment hurt you. tell him in a mature way, and make him feel like he's a total idiot for doing this to you. again, i'm usually not this harsh, but this kind of thing pisses me off because we are so hard on ourselves already, we do not need people like your boyfriend in our lives. please please please try to "step outside of yourself" for a minute and realize how sad this boy's comment has made you feel. remember, i'm here if you need anything, and i'm sorry that this was said to you today. be strong in your thoughts.
I used that one once, bf told me I was fat and that I could lose like 40 lbs I told him "how about 200?....YOU!"
Dump him he sounds like a loser!
You're absolutely PERFECT at the weight you are. Please don't allow this tosser to push you back into ed.
I'm seething. My husband has stuck with me since I was 16, through thick and thin (literally) and has NEVER said he would look at another woman.
You're worth far, far more.
Keep us updated. And PLEASE don't let this upset your recovery. Hugs.
*blows up Bobby* So he asked you out...and that made you GF and BF?? Strange.
Insensitive!
I can't believe you take those words serious! 5'9 and 135 is not fat, it is perfect for your height.
What an asshole! Get a different boyfriend!!!!!!