I'm so sorry you have so much stress going on! Going back to school after the summer is really stressful (I work in one and I'm stressed going back, lol) . Does your family know what's going on with your anxiety and ed issues? Are you getting any help, like therapy, etc for it? ((hugs)) hang in there, it can get better.

Hi there, I'm so sorry that you're struggling, but it does get better. I absolutely understand what you're going through. I have problems with restricting as well. What i would suggest is to talk to a school counselor or your therapist asap. They're there to help you recover, use them. :) Negative thoughts definitely wont help you feel better about yourself! Try replacing each negative thought with a positive one. Or, Write down the negative thought and replace it with a positive one. Sometimes writing it down helps to reinforce the positive thought. Please remember that restricting WILL NOT solve your problems or make you feel better. Sometimes you have to take a second and ask yourself, "Do i DESERVE to restrict?" and ask yourself what you can do in stead of restricting? e.i create a meal plan....maybe use this as a guideline, take a variety of snacks with you to eat throughout the day Or Set alarms on your phone to remind that you should eat. You are not "disgusting", "ugly", "horrible", or "worthless". Remember that these are LIES that your eating disorder will tell you. Challenge that voice, stand up to it! You deserve to fight and live :) Take it ONE day at a time, relax, and listen to your body. I understand the fear that you're feeling; I've been there. Remember that you don't deserve to starve. I hope this has helped :)

Thanks for replying so soon!
Chelle37: my parents do know, but my problems don't even fall on their radar. My brother is applying to collage, my mother works at a preschool where the parents are mad and my sister's school is basically trying to destroy her future because the administration doesn't like my mom. I'm at the bottom of their list and if I bring it up my mom starts to panic.

Brianne21: I'll definitely try that writing down trick. I wish I could talk to them, but my therapist is no help and doesn't offer feedback while I tried talking to my school adviser but once I came out to my therapist about my ED the school has no idea how to comfort me and the last thing I will ever do is tell my school. They haven't stopped the bullying, which caused me to despise them.

ahh this is exactly what is happening iwth me right now. My eating disorder was triggered by school and that's where it was at its worse. I went to camp this summer and finally felt at peace with myself, but now that school is looming closer I feel too big to go back.

I completely understand what you're feeling, and it's terrifying I'm so sorry. But you don't know that school is going to be as bad as you think. It may actually turn out much better than you're expecting. You have to be positive.

if you continue to restrict during school, no benefit will come out of it I PROMISE. You will lose weight, and be skinny, and still not be happy. Getting smaller and smaller won't change the way you feel at school. Instead of making weight loss your goal, try to make it being healthy.

I knoww that it's easier said then done but please hang in there and be strong. message me whenever :)

I am so sorry, and I understand. After 2 yrs off, I just started college again. The last time I went to school, it was a disaster. My ED was so bad that my best friend wanted me to do IP. I have EDNOS and restrict too. You aren't alone. www.katimorton.com http://breakingthesilence.tumblr.com