Welcome to the group. It would be great to have you here. (((HUGS)))

Glad to have you here!! I, for one, have a billion questions I'd love to ask you. I was also left after 24 years. While some of the searing pain is diminished, much still remains. He married his mistress. I'm still alone (not quite 3 years post separation/2 years post divorce). How long before you remarried?

I'm so glad you are no longer in pain and have a great new life!

Another victim of the mighty 24 haha. My wife left after 24 years also.. There has to be something with that number 24 I'm not sure what it is but I have heard a lot of people breaking up after 24 years..myself included.
Welcome to the group, looking forward to your insight and positive thoughts :)

Thanks for the warm welcome and letting me stay! :)

My ex also married his mistress. The divorce was terrible and ut's ripped our family apart. (I wrote a post today on 2 other boards regarding our 4 adult daughters.) It's a long horrible saga I won't bore you with.
I met my current husband online a month after our divorce was finalized. I never dreamed I'd fall in love again, no less get married! I was 48 when we met and am now 55. I never wanted to get married again, but met a man who did, so had to make a choice.

Welcome !!! You can give us some hope

Smile Love jenny

Welcome. I was married 33 years by the time my divorce was final. The ex worked overseas the last ten years of our marriage. That's the only reason I managed to stay married that long. When I found out he committed bigamy I chose to divorce. He brought her to the states as his wife.

Hi....its always to get the insight of those who've been there.

Welcome, I was married 26 years before the divorce was finalized. I was the one that threw in the towel. He is living with his mommy and I have a beautiful corner unit condo. There was no OW. It was his mother and sister that caused all the problems. Well, they will reap what they sow. Hugs and smile.

Welcome to the group and I love hearing about success stories after a long term marriage! I was married 23 years when the ex had an affair. He agreed to try to work it out but that really meant he wanted me to do all the work and be thankful that he stayed and continued to grace me with his presence.

I stayed for 3 years for those shenanigans and then finally found the nerve to ask for a divorce when we were close to the 27 year mark. I guess technically I threw in the towel but IMHO our marriage ended the day he decided to sleep with someone that wasn't me. He was too much of a coward to end the marriage honestly.

I've been divorced for just a little over a year now (1/31)

lemaym1.wordpress.com/

Welcome. I was married 32 years and divorce about 8 years ago. I was on DS through the whole thing and would have died without it. I am now remarried for 4 1/2 years and loving life. Having been where we've been, I think showing there is hope is the gift. When I was new here on DS 8 years ago, the hope that life could and would be different is what I hung on to when all else was falling apart. I, too, met my husband online about 3 years after the divorce.

Big hugs to all.

I stumbled upon this website a full year and a half AFTER my divorce from Hell was finally final. That was in late summer 2008 and it hadn't been around very long. That's why I often call myself one of the "long-timers" on here.

No doubt, had the group been in existence in 2005-2007, I would have been on here 24/7 and worn everyone out in the process.

You have found us now and the wisdom of your experience is always welcome! So welcome!

Hugs to all of you! What really helped me was my wonderful Christian counselor. I have always had great faith, but she reminded me that as long as we have faith, there is hope. Plus, I had my mantra, "Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want ME?" and the answer was always clear...I wouldn't! Actually, after seeing and hearing my ex speak at my DD29's wedding reception last year, it made it even MORE clear! What an idiot! My ex and I are estranged, so not a word was spoken between us at the wedding. I couldn't believe my 2 oldest actually asked me a couple months ago how it was for me seeing their father again. I said it was hard, but not AS hard as I thought it would be. But, seeing how he treated his new wife (who now supports his unemployed a** of 7 years), I admit...was a bit hurtful. He had his arm around her the whole time...but when he was married to ME, he wouldn't even hold my hand. Wow. I guess that's what hurt me most during the divorce...finding out he had never loved me at all and I spent almost 30 years loving HIM. Most of all, I just feel like a fool and NOT a good role model for my daughters. They saw a mother who put up with a lot of mental and emotional abuse from their father, but stayed. My oldest 2 actually told my best friend that they thought I should have left their father YEARS before he left me. But, I loved the man and was raised Catholic, so when I married, it was for LIFE. My daughters, although they know their father cheated on me, have a good relationship with him because he IS a good father. But, I didn't show them what a strong woman and that's what I regret more than anything.

i'm still in the custody divorce $ shitstorm, i'd be much more loco without the insight from this group

welcome

and to split hairs, a good father doesn't cheat, a good mother doesn't cheat, what happens in vegas is done by a slimeball
mommy is a mommy does

that is my opinion , the same hands that touched another "man"'s ... are the same ones mommy tucked the kids into bed with

Welcome here, startingover. I did the same thing - stuck around and loved an emotionally and verbally abusive man who was long gone. In the end, I had to do the leaving because he was happy to have his cake and eat it too. I think you're right about that idea of modelling what is a strong woman. My kids have all referred to that obliquely in private conversations with me, and also to others who have shared what they said with me. You modelled a woman of strong moral ethics and loyalty, so don't feel bad about yourself. And now is your opportunity to model the strong woman who won't put up with any rot.

I was with my ex at 13, married at 18 and I divorced him when I was 52. I do wish I went earlier, but we live our lives as well as we can, do the best we can, and hindsight is not possible until after the fact.

I didn't find this site until after the divorce either, and would have really appreciated the wisdom of all these people when I was in the midst of that 'hell in the hallway' as CowgirlKathi likes to call it. However, better late than never, and these wonderful people have helped me through the estrangements to reconciliation and to a healthy happy new single life.

Looking forward to hearing more from you

love and hugs
kamary