Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Hi all. I've been seeing someone for approx 6 months. At this point, although we connect on a mental level, are physically attracted, have similar humor and some common interests, I am feeling a distinct lack of emotional connection. He is not verbally or physically affectionate except during sex. And he is pretty ok with once a week being together in person. I know that I a, the only one who can decide what I want, but I want your opinion of his response when I raised this as a in issue. He stated that at our age (50's). With failed marriages behind us, this is what we can expect. We shouldn't expect great "highs" or great lows, and to him, a companionable, decent , honest, relationship is a good thing.
What do you think.... Should we have lower expectations of relationships going forward because our lives are more complicated now, or because we have gotten over the "fairy tale" hype? As I type it it sounds absurd, but please give me a reality check, especially those of you who are at the point of dating post divorce.
Thanks and hope all had a happy fourth. ( at least the American members )
What do you think.... Should we have lower expectations of relationships going forward because our lives are more complicated now, or because we have gotten over the "fairy tale" hype? As I type it it sounds absurd, but please give me a reality check, especially those of you who are at the point of dating post divorce.
Thanks and hope all had a happy fourth. ( at least the American members )
I don't know about what he said, but I do know that I expect my next man of serious interest to be the exact opposite of what my ex was and I won't settle for less. I spent my youth settling for less than I deserve and that won't happen. If your feeling a bit unsettled, do some soul searching and see if it's your head, or your heart that's speaking to you.
I love the Facebook post that shows 2 old people that says "In our generation, if it was broke, we fixed it." I'm ashamed of our generation not showing the next generation what marriage truly is. People today might as well just live together. Til death do us part? What a joke. I noticed when my DD29 got married last year, that phrase wasn't even in their vows....
KRKing -- My ex was VERY affectionate at all times for all of the 23 years I was with him. I mean kisses, and words, and phone calls and text, etc.... In fact, I was at first uncomfortable with his public displays of affection, but I grew to love all of that. It became addicting, in a way, so this guy is a total departure and I feel a little starved for attention. The first few weeks we dated he this guy did look at my with "light in his eyes", and it made me feel special, but even though I've continued to offer that kind of attention to him, he has cooled, but he insists it's not because he's not happy with me - it's just who he is. I, on the other hand, would have expected us to fall deeper into an emotional connection, not just settle right down in the middle of companionship and stick there. I do want love. I like the activities we do together and the daily touchpoints of texts and calls, but I think it's not enough long-term. One of you said, "maybe it's enough for now".
It is entirely possible to be in a relationship or even married and be lonely. I make that statement based upon experience.
DD = dear daughter
I get it, being sexually exclusive makes the difference! In other words, your new beau has promised to deprive YOU exclusively when he's NOT having sex!