Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I am sitting here enjoying the peace and quiet. So relaxing. When all this started on Sept. 2007, you would have not recognized me. I was literally a shadow of the woman I am today. The lies he came up with rivaled Stephen King in fiction. I shudder as I remember the feelings of inadequacies and fear. Not knowing what mood he was in. Walking on eggshell. Always trying to appease him in every way possible. But I could never make him happy. He was a miserable man and still is. Now, I can do as I please. Cook what I like and go wherever I want. No longer do I have to worry him, his mommy or that sister of his. It will get better only if you allow it and stand up for yourself. You cannot let the past dictate where your future is going to lead you. You and only you have that right. Those who are just beginning this horrible journey through hell and back. It will not last forever. Just stand firm in your resolve to move on and smile.
My life is so much better even with the problems I still have from a vindictive ex. I guess he's trying to keep my life from being boring. LOL
I work at home. I set my own schedule. When I'm hungry I eat. When I'm tired I take a break from the farm work I do. I answer to no one but myself. I know my decisions are good and I no longer have to work around some man who really doesn't know what he is doing but needs to be catered to. No more of that every again.
I can tell the newbies on here that life is what you make of it and once you get over this bad time your life will be good. Different in so many good ways. I have accomplished so much in the last five years. To know what you have accomplished on your own is one of the perks of getting divorced. I will remember to smile a lot if and when I get the ex back in court.
It does get better; better than ever :)
I hardly set eyes on my ex during 2010-2012. Now he's everywhere I go, and I'm guessing that's because it's time for me to really understand how much happier I am without him.
I saw him waiting in a carpark with his bikie buddies this morning. Yes, you guessed it. This is our Queen's Birthday holiday here, and I would have been spending it without him - yet again - while he went off with them.
I just smiled and drove away, knuckle. You would have been proud of me. And what's more, I didn't have to fake that smile. I was really and truly feeling so grateful that he is no longer driving down that driveway away from me.
I no longer wonder why he was never home. I no longer feel I have to be the queen of cooking and cleaning or the sex goddess.
My life is my own again and I am me at last. The people in my life love and appreciate me for who I am. I have all three children in my life again. I am so glad that I decided to get out of that horrible place I thought was where I wanted to be. Freedom is wonderful.
Yes it was a difficult journey out of there and you're right -it doesn't last forever. The day comes when you realise you've moved on and you are happy where you are right now. Much happier than before :)
love and hugs
kamary
For those of you new on this board, it's the hope for the future that we give you. It's hard to believe when you're going through the pits of separation, divorce, settlements, child support, etc but when I was going through it, people posting what you read above, is what got me through.
Hugs to all
Ahhhhh, peaceful! :)