I know the holidays get easier as the years pass, and it has, but tonight I feel as if I never existed. My D face chatted with X and his family and although I was in midst of cooking in kitchen she was in same room. I don't think she thought they were going to answer and was going to leave a message but instead it was awash with voices from the Xinlaws -all of them! I stayed out of picture frame and choose not to look howeve eaves dropping was evident. I was in midst of full out throttle cooking mood so I couldn't leave the room and she just wasn't aware of me being there. Awkward. Anyway, it was very hard to hold back tears. I miss them all. They were my family for 25 years and now they don't even ask how's your mom. What's is she doing? Erased and replaced. The x was not with his girlfriend this thanksgiving but my S was there with them. My S even blew me off when I tried calling. I know not on purpose as he was enjoying time with his cousins they are all about same age 22. My kids are adults and I understand the dynamics and relationship of the other family. But he left and divorced me for his new life and girlfriend yet I am just a zero in their life. Time moves on and new celebrations and traditions I get that. I just don't understand how they all have moved on like it's no big deal. It's such a hole in my life. Have I really been so easily replaced and forgotten? I guess if I had someone to replace my X it would be different. It just doesn't feel right not being a family. Acceptance? Reality? Denial? Whatever you want to call it...I'm still hurt and sad. And I have to deal with Christmas and New Years. Just want to bury myself in a hole. Wake me up when it's over.