TXTeacherMor, she will always see you as a threat, you and any other woman he talks to. Even if he is just looking at her. How could she trust him, know what he is capable of doing. Or in reality how can they trust and respect each other. Imagine, always having that doubt, suspicion about each other, never truly trusting because either one can be trusted or respected. But when you do see them, just smile, slowly turn around, and walk away, with head held up, giggling. Hugs

My divorce is suppose to be done the end of June. I asked my stbx if he planned on marrying OW. He said NO. I think though if she has her way she will make him marry her. It will be husband #5 for her. She is an expert on divorce. He has ignored the paperwork on our divorce. I just hope the judge doesn't make us split everything down the middle. He walked out on me and I don't really want the divorce. I only filed because I need closure. I doesn't seem to be working. I am still very angry and hurt that he left me for this woman. She is such a low life skank. How can he be attracted to her?

re: Larry's post #4 about the grass being greener, I think he is spot on!

I'm not sure about the 'faithful' spouse being more likely to have post-divorce relationship success because they've ' worked through the betrayal and can trust again ' being true for most people, but I can say that it's true for me.

I have no trust issues with men, just a healthy dose of caution and trepidation that I think anyone in mid-life might have when considering living with or marrying a new partner (or should have at ANY age in fact!). That said, it's all I know so.....it's my personal opinion and experience. I may make a mistake yet, but....will my PAST be to blame? I don't think so.

I know lots of members on here have expressed that they are just too injured to trust again, and I find that very sad for them...I can totally see how it might be like that and I consider myself lucky that I'm not dealing with that.

I think that this is a great topic because many of us have experienced our ex's leaving for the ow/om and moving in and/or eventually marrying.

I'd just like to add to my own ex getting re-married story that the marriage itself was actually not that difficult for me...it was the preceding emotional pain and general life upheaval that was much more physically and psychologically draining. The wedding was just a dot at the end of the sentence. HIS sentence - as in a life sentence lol!

iammine - at what stage in the healing process did your ex remarry? For those who are still reeling from divorce, I think that hearing that their ex got married would be terribly painful. For others who have moved on and are perhaps in another relationship, maybe it's not as big of a deal. My ex has not remarried, but is still in his relationship with the OW for whom he left our marriage. I am surprised they have not gotten married yet, but I expect it will happen one of these days. I anticipate that it will be very painful for me when that day comes.

Sorry, I just re-read the posts and see that you said your ex remarried 6 months after your divorce. You seemed to have handled it well so soon after.

Moscato, he was living with her for six months before the divorce, so they had been together one year by the time they married.

I wonder if they planned it that way.....funny how the wedding was exactly six months after the decree, and one year after they co-habitated. Almost as if it was a 'decent' amount of time lol!

I'm not saying it wasn't difficult, but honestly, I was more upset that there was an actual wedding EVENT then the fact that they got married! I just felt that it was way over the top to put our kids through witnessing a ceremony so soon after our own family unit was severed. His second and her third as well.

They should have hightailed there cheating buts to city hall and done it there in my opinion! I guess it's part of living in their little fairy tale world that they made a big deal of it and had an event....no shame!!!

Moscato,

I thought it would really hurt my heart but it didn't... maybe having anticipated it would happen much quicker help... and maybe the look on his face helped me understand that he isn't content.
IDK but when it happens, you will do just fine!!!

Iammine... the ex and new wife made quite an event of their wedding in the bar literally where they started screwing around!! LOL She had multiple dresses for the evening and wore the shoes that she had posted on her wedding pinterest page which she started back about 4 yrs ago when they started the affair....LOL He made a big deal out of how she wasn't the type of woman who needed a wedding band and that they weren't getting married ever,etc.....until I said he should check her pinterest pages!! Hahahahaha

I think I'll struggle if and when it happens to me too. I struggled with knowing she'd moved into the house I designed. Not that she'd moved in with him. It was quite confusing really. I was hurt that no one told me (no one has told me to this day and it's 5 months since my GS1 slipped up and mentioned it) and there was also the awful feeling that someone was taking over my life, or what should have been my life. It passed, though. I'd say just go with whatever feelings come up for you. Whatever comes up will be the right way for you.

love and hugs
kamary