My divorce was final last Tuesday and if some nice man wants to take me out im going like yesterday! Has to be a very good seeming man however. Not just any man.
I was married almost 35 years.

wow! 35 years! You must have been devastated!

God Bless!

Devastated doesn't even begin to describe it. But the divorce started over 2 years ago and i'm pretty good now.

It is not like years ago when there was a certain length of time before you could do anything and i'm not getting any younger. I plan on having a great life doing whatever i want from now on.(within reason)

My separation was 2006 - almost done with the divorce papers- maybe 30 more days to wait. I will be requesting an annullment. I would jump on a chance for coffee with someone. I too am not wanting to spend my time alone. I do worry about meeting people at my age. I am pretty sure I am not a great catch. I just may have to enjoy my own company.
Good luck and if you feel like you have processed all the emotional issues that comes with divorce and are ready then go have a lunch date! Enjoy!

bob, my divorce will not be final until next month. I'm not ready to date yet, and I have no idea when I will be. My x and I have been separated for almost 9 months. I think I gave so much of myself during my 25 year marriage that I'm just starting to enjoy finding me again. If there is a next time around, I will be looking for my best friend. Also, I think that you need to really grieve the loss of your marriage before you enter a new relationship and that takes different amounts of time depending on the person. One therapist has suggested that for every 4 years of marriage, you should give yourself one year of recovery before re-marrying. This may not be true for everyone, and casual dating is certainly different than re-marrying or co-habitating. I believe that enjoying yourself and meeting new people is an okay thing to do!

Hi Bobimmaine and welcome. If I was still married, today would have been my 28th anniversary, but the decree came to me last month. I'm not sure that I'm ready to date yet - but I'm willing to try it. Your divorced and you can start whenever you feel comfortable with it. (Hugs)

I know it's hard, but it's a new life now - make it a good one

Take some time for yourself. You need to heal. Me time is so important. My therapist keeps stressing that point, I was married 23 yrs divorced just before the 24th year. I am just enjoying my own company. Doing what I want when I want. So please take it easy and smile. You will survive.

I was married for 28 years and have been divorced over three years. I've had some dates and a few short-lived relationships. I took an almost two-year dating break to make sure I knew what I wanted.

Take your time to heal.

As far as your question, is it possible--well, a good friend of mine had been divorced for 8 years, met a guy on a Christian dating site. They dated for six months, knew it was love and are getting back from their honeymoon this weekend.

Yes, it does happen for some, but not all. Make sure you're okay with being alone first so that you don't date just to have someone.

Thankyou all! Alot of good advice in this group so I am glad I came here. I just hope I get enough of a settlement so I can build a small place for myself with maybe a spare bedroom for when relatives visit. I love to entertain but my wife never did. In fact, we had very little in common.

I would love to have coffee with each of you!

Hugs

I hope you do too buddy. I hope you do too. Your doing all the right things based on what I've read so far - you'll get there.

The timeframe for really being emotionally ready to date again is different for everyone. Call me old school, but I wasn't interested in even thinking about dating until after my divorce was final. It was like ONE THING AT A TIME, PLEASE! My divorce too 18 months to get final. Six months after that I met Tom on eHarmony...that was in 2007. We're engaged, but have no plans to marry in the immediate future. I laugh and tell him that I was married for 25 years, but never engaged. I like being engaged. But I think you definitely need to get the divorce behind you before you hang your "available" signs out.

I agree with the advice of waiting to be good with yourself, my divorce is about done (just getting final papers drawn to be signed) after 5 long years.. I would love to have coffee with someone or dinner, not really a date per say.. Not ready for a "relationship" but thats me, some are very comfortable and find it helps.. go with how you feel.. would love to have coffee with each of you.. too bad we cant have some sort of exotic meet up somewhere.. would be fun.. if anyone interested.. let me know.. I am up to trying it.. lol.. Good luck with whichever way you go

It's been almost 4 years since I walked out the door, and I'm still not ready, though I've done an awful lot of work on myself in that time. There is someone in the wings, not rushing things, and I'm scared to death.

Go with your own intuition. If you really like someone, why not? Just be sure you know who YOU are so that you can deal with it if it doesn't work out, and also so you can deal with the inevitable small differences if it does.

HealingT wrote:
"One therapist has suggested that for every 4 years of marriage, you should give yourself one year of recovery before re-marrying."

I have heard that statistic as well, but it was 1 year for every 5 years of a marriage. But keep in mind, the guideline is for RE-MARRIAGE -- not just dating. AND when I read it, it said it takes that long for you to fully recover from the impact of divorce. I found that to be very true -- even when you have the final papers, unless your separation period was extremely long (like a few of our members have mentioned) there are still going to be some residual issues and emotional fallout.

I was still working through some of the collateral damage that the X caused when I met Tom...and trying to figure out a few things, but he has been very helpful in that as he had been final divorced for 5 years when I met him.

Emotional Fall out - great term for it - that's for sure.