Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
There are so many things I need help and advice with. A little history.... Like many of you here, I was married 30 years and it was a domestic abuse/violence marriage. I suffer from PTSD. My ex is a doctor, I was a stay at home mom.. I am having a very hard time adjusting from living an upper middle class life to nearly homeless.
My current problem is my ex is 3 months in arrears in spousal support. He is my only source of income. He left me with no retirement, no health insurance, no savings, no car etc. I filed a motion for arrears and court is next week. I am terrified. He has 3 attorneys, I am Pro Per. (Pro Se?) He does not believe the law applies to him and he lies like a fish in water. He is calm, I cry. I was already not able to make ends meet, but after 3 months of no support and borrowing money from family, I will be out on the street next week. I don't even know how I am going to get to court. It's 100 miles away.
What am I supposed to show to the judge? Do I tell him I have been living in a garage? Have no money for gas or food? Haven't bought even underwear since the divorce? I have lost weight?
Or is that just complaining? Do I simply state he has not paid the support the court ordered and leave it at that? I know my ex is going to say his income is $0. Since he is self employed and owns a corporation and an LLC, he is able to hide all income and take no salary. I have no idea what his income is. Do I need to prove how much he makes to prove he can pay me?
He will say he makes $0. Can I tell the judge he pays his rent, has food, cable, internet etc so he must have money?
I am so nervous. This is so important. I don't want to get the judge angry by crying or acting like poor me.
Any advice on how to get through this? I live in California
My current problem is my ex is 3 months in arrears in spousal support. He is my only source of income. He left me with no retirement, no health insurance, no savings, no car etc. I filed a motion for arrears and court is next week. I am terrified. He has 3 attorneys, I am Pro Per. (Pro Se?) He does not believe the law applies to him and he lies like a fish in water. He is calm, I cry. I was already not able to make ends meet, but after 3 months of no support and borrowing money from family, I will be out on the street next week. I don't even know how I am going to get to court. It's 100 miles away.
What am I supposed to show to the judge? Do I tell him I have been living in a garage? Have no money for gas or food? Haven't bought even underwear since the divorce? I have lost weight?
Or is that just complaining? Do I simply state he has not paid the support the court ordered and leave it at that? I know my ex is going to say his income is $0. Since he is self employed and owns a corporation and an LLC, he is able to hide all income and take no salary. I have no idea what his income is. Do I need to prove how much he makes to prove he can pay me?
He will say he makes $0. Can I tell the judge he pays his rent, has food, cable, internet etc so he must have money?
I am so nervous. This is so important. I don't want to get the judge angry by crying or acting like poor me.
Any advice on how to get through this? I live in California
That last time I knew I had him because his Atty wanted to know what it would take to make me happy :) She convinced him that this time he would go to jail. I think it helped that I went before the same judge each time. To stay out of jail the ex paid me a lot of money he owed me and signed this farm over to me. Now when I sell this farm I won't have to split the net proceeds with the ex. A huge win for me.
I tell you this to show it can be done. I feel for you having to move back with your daughter but thank goodness you could do that. I didn't have that option. I pray you get some order and peace in your life.
Please remember, you paid taxes into these programs. They are there for you to use.
Hugs! Be strong.