Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
There are so many things I need help and advice with. A little history.... Like many of you here, I was married 30 years and it was a domestic abuse/violence marriage. I suffer from PTSD. My ex is a doctor, I was a stay at home mom.. I am having a very hard time adjusting from living an upper middle class life to nearly homeless.
My current problem is my ex is 3 months in arrears in spousal support. He is my only source of income. He left me with no retirement, no health insurance, no savings, no car etc. I filed a motion for arrears and court is next week. I am terrified. He has 3 attorneys, I am Pro Per. (Pro Se?) He does not believe the law applies to him and he lies like a fish in water. He is calm, I cry. I was already not able to make ends meet, but after 3 months of no support and borrowing money from family, I will be out on the street next week. I don't even know how I am going to get to court. It's 100 miles away.
What am I supposed to show to the judge? Do I tell him I have been living in a garage? Have no money for gas or food? Haven't bought even underwear since the divorce? I have lost weight?
Or is that just complaining? Do I simply state he has not paid the support the court ordered and leave it at that? I know my ex is going to say his income is $0. Since he is self employed and owns a corporation and an LLC, he is able to hide all income and take no salary. I have no idea what his income is. Do I need to prove how much he makes to prove he can pay me?
He will say he makes $0. Can I tell the judge he pays his rent, has food, cable, internet etc so he must have money?
I am so nervous. This is so important. I don't want to get the judge angry by crying or acting like poor me.
Any advice on how to get through this? I live in California
My current problem is my ex is 3 months in arrears in spousal support. He is my only source of income. He left me with no retirement, no health insurance, no savings, no car etc. I filed a motion for arrears and court is next week. I am terrified. He has 3 attorneys, I am Pro Per. (Pro Se?) He does not believe the law applies to him and he lies like a fish in water. He is calm, I cry. I was already not able to make ends meet, but after 3 months of no support and borrowing money from family, I will be out on the street next week. I don't even know how I am going to get to court. It's 100 miles away.
What am I supposed to show to the judge? Do I tell him I have been living in a garage? Have no money for gas or food? Haven't bought even underwear since the divorce? I have lost weight?
Or is that just complaining? Do I simply state he has not paid the support the court ordered and leave it at that? I know my ex is going to say his income is $0. Since he is self employed and owns a corporation and an LLC, he is able to hide all income and take no salary. I have no idea what his income is. Do I need to prove how much he makes to prove he can pay me?
He will say he makes $0. Can I tell the judge he pays his rent, has food, cable, internet etc so he must have money?
I am so nervous. This is so important. I don't want to get the judge angry by crying or acting like poor me.
Any advice on how to get through this? I live in California
love and hugs
kamary
Hugs!
I am so scared. I'm being evicted if I don't pay rent by the 4th. What if I say something wrong? Tomorrow is th day.
But even this is better then being married.
love and hugs
kamary
Hugs,
Donna
love and hugs
kamary
Hugs
Jenny
Today the attorney was supposed to send me a copy of the arrears report with court order. He never called or sent it. My ex refuses to sign the docs!! It was also agreed he would transfer enough to pay my rent. If I don't pay by today I'm charged $100 penalty and get a 3 day notice to evict. Neither will respond to phone calls. I'm going to get evicted and have no money. Why is it lawyers, judges, give the criminal so many times to keep their promises before they are finally penalized for their lies? In the meantime innocent people are out on the street? And then I am the one who has to file again????
I am so upset.
Does anyone else have an ex who lies through his teeth to the judge and attorney and gets away with it over and over? The legal system sucks
Sorry for my anger. It is just so frustrating.
Thanks for all your prayers. I'm sure it would have been worse if I hadn't had you behind me.