Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
There are so many things I need help and advice with. A little history.... Like many of you here, I was married 30 years and it was a domestic abuse/violence marriage. I suffer from PTSD. My ex is a doctor, I was a stay at home mom.. I am having a very hard time adjusting from living an upper middle class life to nearly homeless.
My current problem is my ex is 3 months in arrears in spousal support. He is my only source of income. He left me with no retirement, no health insurance, no savings, no car etc. I filed a motion for arrears and court is next week. I am terrified. He has 3 attorneys, I am Pro Per. (Pro Se?) He does not believe the law applies to him and he lies like a fish in water. He is calm, I cry. I was already not able to make ends meet, but after 3 months of no support and borrowing money from family, I will be out on the street next week. I don't even know how I am going to get to court. It's 100 miles away.
What am I supposed to show to the judge? Do I tell him I have been living in a garage? Have no money for gas or food? Haven't bought even underwear since the divorce? I have lost weight?
Or is that just complaining? Do I simply state he has not paid the support the court ordered and leave it at that? I know my ex is going to say his income is $0. Since he is self employed and owns a corporation and an LLC, he is able to hide all income and take no salary. I have no idea what his income is. Do I need to prove how much he makes to prove he can pay me?
He will say he makes $0. Can I tell the judge he pays his rent, has food, cable, internet etc so he must have money?
I am so nervous. This is so important. I don't want to get the judge angry by crying or acting like poor me.
Any advice on how to get through this? I live in California
My current problem is my ex is 3 months in arrears in spousal support. He is my only source of income. He left me with no retirement, no health insurance, no savings, no car etc. I filed a motion for arrears and court is next week. I am terrified. He has 3 attorneys, I am Pro Per. (Pro Se?) He does not believe the law applies to him and he lies like a fish in water. He is calm, I cry. I was already not able to make ends meet, but after 3 months of no support and borrowing money from family, I will be out on the street next week. I don't even know how I am going to get to court. It's 100 miles away.
What am I supposed to show to the judge? Do I tell him I have been living in a garage? Have no money for gas or food? Haven't bought even underwear since the divorce? I have lost weight?
Or is that just complaining? Do I simply state he has not paid the support the court ordered and leave it at that? I know my ex is going to say his income is $0. Since he is self employed and owns a corporation and an LLC, he is able to hide all income and take no salary. I have no idea what his income is. Do I need to prove how much he makes to prove he can pay me?
He will say he makes $0. Can I tell the judge he pays his rent, has food, cable, internet etc so he must have money?
I am so nervous. This is so important. I don't want to get the judge angry by crying or acting like poor me.
Any advice on how to get through this? I live in California
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
I know that doesn't take care of your rent for now. You should be quite proud of yourself for handling this when you were so upset about court. You are stronger than you realize.I'm just sorry he is still making life so hard for you.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I won in court, he officially owes me the money, but that doesn't mean he will give it to me.
HIS attorney actually crept to MY side and helped me! I am now filing a lien against his LLC that he is selling. His attorney is on his back to pay me the judgment.
The future is starting to look up, or at least I am finally seeing a faint light ahead. I still have to find a way to get through the present, but there is hope for a future.
YES!!!!
My ex's attorney also did things behind the scenes to help me, mostly with just getting my ex to do what was needed to avoid contempt charges.
Now talk to your landlord and show him the ruling so he knows money is forthcoming (we hope).
Happy for you!!
Hugs,
Donna
I signed under duress too. PTSD is just another word for breakdown. I was left with nothing and am packing as we speak. I had no money to pay rent. I have been in therapy since the divorce. I so want to heal, but my ex is determined I don't. When I want to give up, I tell myself to try just one more time. I believe what goes around comes around. It gives me strength because I want to BE around when he gets his.
Hugs to you
Hugs
My ex tried to make my kids hate me. I found out about living life with 'love and compassion' in the face of Parental Alienation, and my kids are in my life today. Keep your eyes and ears open and aware - so you see the ways you can find your way forward, and the ways you can beat your stbx at his own game.
love and hugs
kamary
My ex believes he is above the law. He still has not paid me any support. That makes him about 6 months behind. But I do have a lien on the building. I did have to move and my daughter took me in again. I checked out GA and welfare and just can't make myself sign up. It is so demeaning and it stays with you the rest of your life. This week I am filing motion for a 'till tap'. I don't know how many people pay for doctor's visits with cash but I figure some do. A Marshal or Deputy goes to my ex's office and simply takes all the money out of the cash drawer. He can do this several times till I get my money back. I have to file first and it will take a little time but it sounds like fun!