That is to bad, but we can't control other folks, she will have to learn the hard way. Just take care of you.

What were her fasting and A1C numbers?

Sometimes it takes something shocking to get someone to comply.


Chuck

Sad
This is probably the most difficult thing for man to do...
Give her time
Is she overweight ?
Is she happy ?
Do the opposite of preaching to her....but I do not know what this is....
Appeal to her intellect....

I feel incredibly sad for your niece, and I hope that she moves out of the denial stage as quickly as possible.

Is she scheduled for bariatric surgery? I am not sure a surgeon would even do bypass surgery unless her blood sugars are in control?

Bariatric surgery does have a 90% success rate of putting type 2 diabetes in remission (Dr. Oz). However, if she is unable to control her eating after being diagnosed with diabetes, is she going to be able to control her eating after the surgery?

I have a friend who had the bariatric surgery and is now a skinny bony twig - I think he lost too much weight - and I know of someone else who had it done, but is right back to where she was because eventually, she went back to eating like she use too.

As sad as your niece's situation is, I think it is very important for you to take care of you! You have a chance of preventing the disease, and you can't change someone who doesn't want to change(at least right now), so please don't stress too much over it.

Keep us posted!

Her fasting blood sugar was 175 & is usually around that after testing 2 hours later. Her A1C was 7.5 so not too bad.

She is grossly overweight at somewhere around 350 & 5'3". She no longer is telling what she weighs.

And no she is not happy. She is severely depressed. Her doctor put her on an antidepressant at the same time she put her on her diabetic meds.

I made mention of it once when we went out to lunch & when she said she was going to eat it anyway & not test her blood the rest of the day, I knew she was hiding form her issue & that I could not do anything more for her.

She goes into a consultation with her bariatric doctor tomorrow.

Does her depression stem from her weight issues?

Hopefully, she will get the help that she needs to fight both the depression and the diabetes. This surgery might just be what she needs - a new beginning - hope.

Her weight plays a part of it I'm sure. But she has been depressed for years. Last year was the toughest when she found her father dead in his bed. He was only 55 and died of a heart attack. She is divorced from her Significant Other & the father of her children. He has the twins & she has the oldest boy. That depresses her too since SO moved to Hawaii & she only gets to see them every 2 years for part of the summer..

I'm not giving up on her, but do know from past experience she does not want to change her lifestyle.

Oh my. I am so sorry to hear of her troubles. I can't imagine what it would be like not to see my children everyday .... no, I can't even begin to image what she is going through.

Please don't give up on her. She does need as much support as possible, but don't lose sight of your own health in the process - which happens to a lot of people who are worried about or are caring for someone else in need.

You are a great aunt for caring so much!

I think the best you can do is to feed her a healthy diabetic meal whenever she comes to visit you during a mealtime at your home, lead by example, and tell her you're willing to help her and be a resource if she ever wants that and then let it go. Keeping after her about it when she isn't ready to change would probably only make her angry and defiant and she might start to avoid you.

sometimes it takes something serious to happen before a person will get it. talk with her, explain the many complications that can happen, but as hard as it is for you, you can't be the food police. she has to do this for herself, many are in denial or depression in the beginning and it is tough so be there for her in support. I once had a member of my group tell me if she didn't test, then it was ok, since she could not see it

In your niece's defense overeating is a VERY tough thing to kick, I've tried it many times believe me I've been overweight for a long time. Each time I've tried to kick the habit it feels like rehabbing from a drug habit.

Hunger is a powerful thing.


Chuck

Chuck, I agree with you about how hard it is to kick overeating. The best way I've found to do it is to find things other than food to focus on that can give me almost as much pleasure as eating does. This has included hobbies and even dating for me at one time, before I met my girlfriend, but generally I need to focus on enjoying pleasure through all my other senses instead of my sense of taste.

I also agree over eating is hard to break. I've been at it for years myself. And I'm not condemning her for not wanting to work at it. I'm just saying I'm not going to try & help her with her eating till she is ready to give it a try. Right now she doesn't want to try.

I also realize she is scared & eating has always been her comfort. She is eating for comfort. I wish she could find something else that would soothe her & make her feel safe.

I consider overeating almost as serious of an addiction as I do cocaine, I still think of my next meal even the night before. What happens then is people who are overweight tend to feel less about themselves (guilt) and then they eat more because it makes them "fee" better.

The worst part of all of this is that people do tend to look at those overweight as being less important in society. This has been proved on many occasions where they send a girl in dressed up heavy and then a few weeks later send her in thin and the service and attitudes towards the thinner girls is much much better.

I guess you have to be heavy to really and truly understand.

Your neice needs to understand that she's not a bad person, but rather a good person with some issues, issues that could be improved with a little bit of effort.


Chuck

I'm also sorry to hear about her troubles... however, though i hate to throw a wet blanket on things, i have to ask why she WOULDN'T be drepressed? Look at what the poor thing has to deal with in her life. Talk about bad luck! She's looking for a quick fix with this surgery, but she's not going to find it there either. She needs support and love, but she needs to come to terms with this on her own, unfortunately. My mom had to go to dyalisis for 5 years and now i see my mother in law heading that direction and she doesn't seem to care.... it's so frustrating fort me watch this again and be so helpless to help. Hang in there and pray she will come to here senses before it's too late and want to start living for herself. Lots of luck, hugs and kisses, Deb :o)