I am trying to appreciate myself for the kind soft-spoken person that I am and the fact that I have been as good a mother as I could be...that was yesterday, as of today I'm trying to do better. I need to do this not waiting for the recognition or appreciation (that I may not get), but because this is the person I want to be. I have held myself back and been afraid to really feel...I need to try and experience all that I can (I'm still afraid but I will try)

Thanks to all of you,I am beginning to glow ever so slightly!!!

Absolutely, Anji (and anyone else who is inspired by it), borrow the affirmation, but I got it from the song by Jordin Sparks that Shelly suggested in her reply above.

well, I personally think you are shining with the brightness of a thousand suns sweetie. I can see your glow from here. Hugs

support i can see your 10 million sun shine too.
AnjiQ - you are shining really bright - just like your picture
love you guys

Support- I wanted to add my 2 cents, for what it's worth!

Focus on the things you can change (you) and don't worry about those (negative or hateful) you can't change. Channel that energy onto yourself and your children.

Remember, our children, especially the little ones, are like a sponge. They absorb everything around us, good and bad. This was really important to me because I suffer from depression and I didn't want my negative feelings, thoughts and sadness to effect my son. More importantly, I didn't want him to take on those traits by his observation of me and our life. Let me just tell you, he's nothing like his ma. He's very confidient, happy and care-free. Thank God!

Most importantly, you have to love yourself for who you are. Sort of like, warts and all.... For me, this is an ongoing process. I'm a work in progress, so to speak. I doesn't happen over night but with little baby steps.

Good luck to you! xxxx Mel

Support- I wanted to add my 2 cents, for what it's worth!

Focus on the things you can change (you) and don't worry about those (negative or hateful) you can't change. Channel that energy onto yourself and your children.

Remember, our children, especially the little ones, are like a sponge. They absorb everything around us, good and bad. This was really important to me because I suffer from depression and I didn't want my negative feelings, thoughts and sadness to effect my son. More importantly, I didn't want him to take on those traits by his observation of me and our life. Let me just tell you, he's nothing like his ma. He's very confidient, happy and care-free. Thank God!

Most importantly, you have to love yourself for who you are. Sort of like, warts and all.... For me, this is an ongoing process. I'm a work in progress, so to speak. I doesn't happen over night but with little baby steps.

Good luck to you! xxxx Mel

I think that is really important for me to remember: I really MUST focus on what I can change and the only thing that I really have control over which is me.


A big challenge for me is allowing my kids to make mistakes and learn from them, rather than try and prevent their mistakes.

OH, HOW MANY TIMES INOUR LIVES DO WE SEE THE "SQUEAKY WHEEL GET THE GREASE." THERE WILL ALWAYS BE THOSE NEGATIVE, PUT YOU DOWN TYPES AROUND. WE CAN SURROUND OURSELVES WITH THEM. WE CAN EMPOWER THEM TO MAKE JUDGEMENTS ON OUR LIVES AND TAKE THESE AS FACT. NOW YOU NEED TO EMPOWER YOURSELF TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOU!! ONLY YOU CAN LET OTHERS MAKE YOU FEEL BAD OR DEMEANED. TAKE CHARGE, LOOK AT YOUR POSITIVES, I BET THEY FAR OUTWEIGHT THE NEGATIVES. BUT FOR SOME REASON WE TEND TO FOCUS THE MICROSCOPE OF LIFE ON THOSE FEW BEHAVIOURS OR THOUGHTS THAT ARE NOT OUR BEST QUALITIES (WE ALL HAVE THEM). WE BLOW THEM OUT OF PROPORTION. I DO SUGGEST TAKING STOCK OF YOURSELF, ALL OF YOUR WONDERFUL TRAITS AND HABITS. IT'S HARD AT FIRST TO PAT OURSELVES ON THE BACK BUT IT WILL GET EASIER. DISENTANGLE YOURSELF FROM THOSE NAYSAYERS AND PURVEYORS OF NEGATIVE ENERGY WHEN POSSIBLE. DON'T FEEL YOU NEED TO LIVE UP TO SOMEONE ELSES STANDARDS, SET YOUR OWN. I LIVED MY LIVE FOR TOO LONG TRYING TO REACH SOMEONE ELSES EXPECTATIONS AND WHEN YOU'RE OCD AND A PERFECTIONIST THIS IS A RECIPE FOR DISASTER. I FINALLY TOOK BACK MY LIFE. I LIVE EACH DAY FOR ME! NOW I AM CONTENT AND IN CONTROL OF WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. AS A RESULT, I AM MORE CAPABLE OF MAKING MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAPPIER. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. THE TIME IT TAKES IS WORTH IT.

Such great points. I have had a tendency to look at life and focus on the nasty, selfish types who seem to have it all....and I end up feeling negative, angry, and depressed because life seems so unfair. And the more I think this way the more I focus on the negative in life...which is not good for me.

I don't like the fact that sometimes the "evil" ones triumph, while nice gentle people get walked upon (yes, I'm talking about me!)But I guess this is just a fact of life.

My goal now is to to try and focus on what gentle kind people do and try and surround myself with these types as much as I can. I'm hoping that the more I'm on the lookout for kind, considerate behavior, the more that I will see it.

Supportplease, you really are walking the road from negative to positive here. Sometimes it is hard because we have to face things about our past behaviour.

But then we start to get periods of perfect tranquility, enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQrgbadXYxE

Support, there was a time in my life where I felt that way all the time. I always felt like others had so much more than I did. I felt like things were unfair and out of balance. I promise you, that the more you focus on you, the further along you get in learning to love yourself, the happier you are with you, you wont see that large a difference anymore.

Honey, you have spent your whole life struggling with issues from childhood to adulthood. Its time for you now, its your time NOW. It took a very long time with alot of negativity for you to get to this point so it will take some time to rework it. One day, you will look back and see a bright road behind you and in front of you. No more darkness. You are shining very brightly support. Hugs