Developing a Positive Attitude DAPA Community Group
Hi, This group is dedicated to helping people develop a positive attitude. It is for all depression sufferers, anybody who suffers from anxiety or stress, has suffered bad experiences in the past, or anyone who desires to develop a more positive attitude through positive thinking.
I have learned so much from all of the support I've gotten from the DAPA group. My primary goal is to change my overall negative attitude of life and people into a more positive one.
I see people around me treating me and my kids (and others) with disrespect and outright hurtfulness. It seems that those who are louder and more overbearing get their way and those who are nicer and more soft-spoken (like me and my kids) get stepped upon. I see life as VERY unjust with the nicer person finishing last.
I tend to compare myself to others and always feel that my life is lacking in my relationships with my loved ones. I have been very critical of others, and myself, and need to learn how to look at my family and myself in a more positive accepting way.
What have you found to be most helpful in changing negative views of people (and of life, overall) into more positive ones?
I see people around me treating me and my kids (and others) with disrespect and outright hurtfulness. It seems that those who are louder and more overbearing get their way and those who are nicer and more soft-spoken (like me and my kids) get stepped upon. I see life as VERY unjust with the nicer person finishing last.
I tend to compare myself to others and always feel that my life is lacking in my relationships with my loved ones. I have been very critical of others, and myself, and need to learn how to look at my family and myself in a more positive accepting way.
What have you found to be most helpful in changing negative views of people (and of life, overall) into more positive ones?
When I was growing up, we were not allowed to express emotion. We were in constant "fear" of my father and any disagreement with him lead to severe punishment. We were also not allowed to cry or show anger. Only he was.
As a result, I lashed out as a teenager. As a parent, I was very emotionally involved where my kids were concerned. The exact opposite of my father. It was a very good thing because my kids were allowed to express themselves. My husband is a very open and compassionate person and cries watching movies.
Eventually, I learned that my deep feelings for their emotions were not always good for all the reasons I have said before. Of course, we will have compassion and feel our childrens pain as mothers. However, we have to be careful how far we take it. It can be damaging too.
So, feeling is not a bad thing, allowing it to control our lives is. Maybe in time, when you work through your emotions, you will better handle theirs. Hugs
My wife is very loving to our son, every morning she holds our son in an embrace un minuto de amor thay call it (one minute of love in english).
Maybe you could come up with some little routines every day such as touching them or carressing them in a loving motherly way that would let them understand that you always love them. That way when they are feeling sad or frustrated at least you will know that they know that they are always loved.
I feel that this will make your suffering for them less because I am sure that part of it is that you feel you need to show them you love them. And sometimes when they are sad and frustrated you feel like you are not getting through.
I grew up in a family where demonstrative love was not shown.I don't remeber my mother ever telling me she loved me or was proud. All I heard was what I SHOULD be doing.
As a result I have always made a point of telling my kids I love them and letting them know I'm proud....but I'm not that demonstrative either.
You are doing a wonderful job as a mother and it seems like your kids are responding, all children have there ups and downs.
You say you are not demonstrative, I am sure that you are, one thing is for sure you are much more demonstrative with your kids than your parents were with you.
I am sure you have days when you are a bit out of sorts worried by what people might think, and on these days you might be more aloof with your kids and your husband. But this behaviour will change and you will find yourself being more demonstrative more of the time.
You are doing great.
I'm doing the best I can....but can I make up for the past?
You are worthy, there is no going back, just forward. You begin today. Hugs
This will work better, I hope.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ffqGKkxpwY
But you know what I just thought, "don't think back, think forward", what about all the years that will be better than they would have been if I had not become more enlightened.
Now that is really positive attitude, enlightened thinking and just brilliant, now I am really shining.
Hey guys I need a new mood state excellent is not good enough I need one that says fantastic.
Of course it would. I made some serious mistakes when my boys were young, I cant change that, but moving forward when I did, I can now look back with confidence and know my positive change was the best thing I ever did.
Keep walking forward one step at a time.
Simon, I am going to get you a large shining, sparkling crown ya goof. You are definately shining. I wish they would give us more options. At least you can write it in your status. "I am shining brilliantly like a million moons." Smile
My new affirmation is "I settled for less but I'm ready for more...That was then - THIS IS NOW!"
Thank you all!!!
YES, THIS IS YOUR NOW...................Don't you love that song? It just says it all. Oh my gosh, you made me cry. You are so wonderful. Just be you, the one you know you can be, it shines through so brightly. Hugs
Support, I love your new affirmation. May I borrow it? I will add it to mine. It's awesome.
Have a great day all!! :) HUGS