Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Wishing I Was Dead

SomeGuy092
SomeGuy092

I hate getting up every morning. I don't feel like doing anything. I don't feel like doing my school work anymore. I don't feel motivated to do anything productive. I guess that makes me lazy. I don't care if my family would miss me if I were to die. I guess that makes me a selfish monster and a horrible person. I keep getting the thought that I'm going to Heck if were to commit suicide. Day by day, that fear of going to Heck for suicide is slowly going away. I never did anything right. I don't feel connected to my family. They said they loved and they proved it, but I'm unable to feel loved if that makes sense. I couldn't sincerely return sentiments to anyone if I tried. I feel hollow on the inside. I should have never been born. I don't know how much longer I can stand being alive. I don't know how much longer I can stand myself. I'm just living for nothing. I don't feel satisfaction from helping others. I don't even feel like taking care of myself. If you have read this far, thanks for reading.

peterthegreat
peterthegreat
Many people like me hate life too. Try to find something you still enjoy. Traditional school will not train us how to get rich. There are other schools teaches about money. Find some kind people to support you.
rcurtis1010
rcurtis1010
If you would like to talk or maybe try to get some advice from someone whos been in your position please message me <3
SomeGuy092
SomeGuy092
@peterthegreat Thanks. It's hard for me to find something I still enjoy, but I'll try. Thank you.
Fighter1986
Fighter1986
Life isn't easy. It takes it toll on everyone differently. First thing I would suggest is make sure you find a couple people to talk to that understand what is going on and can relate in some way. Second (and quickly), find a counselor. With your current situation, they will try to get you in fast. They actually can help.

Feel free to message me and I can be someone to sound off on. I too, do not want to wake up. But because I do, I have found to focus on small things to get me through the day and the pain.
jannytheresa
jannytheresa
It sounds like you are in the midst of a Major Depression which includes symptoms like feeling worthless, hopeless, suicidality, guilt and many other symptoms. College students have a high rate of depression.
I agree with Fighter: find someone to talk to immediately (Is there a counselor at school). See you primary care doctor or anyone who can help you to get
treatment. With treatment you will get better. Many of us have felt this way. It's part depression. There is no shame in suffering from this disease. It can become intolerable and the suffering can be immense. Please let us all know how you are doing
SomeGuy092
SomeGuy092
@Fighter1986
Thank you
gottaletgo
gottaletgo
Been there, yesterday in fact. Swallowed a bunch of pills but my fiancé threw my head to ground to spit out. It may seem selfish and probably is but our disease makes it impossible to “clear up” and have empathy when we hate ourselves. The best advice I have is to really talk to your pdoc or go to emergency room if you are really going to plan “the” act. It’s teuly scary bcuz I tried. Years ago and had no pulse practically after investing a ton of pills- the experience was far from peaceful. Felling do pass and things are impermanent but it’s crucial to let someone know what your thinking. To get some help. I hope I helped a little. You are not alone
SomeGuy092
SomeGuy092
@gottaletgo
You did help. Thank you
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