Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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kittyfiftyfive 09/10/2011

I've been very depressed for awhile now. It's a very deep pain and sadness. I'm 55 years old. I have no siblings or other family that I know of. After my parents died in 2004 and 2006, I still had somewhat of a relationship with my husband. We've been separated for almost 5 years, after being married for almost 20 years, and I don't see us getting back together ever. I feel that there is no one in the world who loves me or cares about me. In my case it really is true. I've been seeing a therapist for over a month and my new psychiatrist for the first time last week. (He prescribed Abilify--said it would take 3 weeks to start working if it works) I wish I could say I trust him to help me. They say it's a process, that I need to be patient. I feel like I'm nearly out of patience. I hate my job and am so very tired. I've pondered going to the emergency room. Suicide is on my mind nearly every day. About the only thing keeping me going right now is that one of my cats is diabetic and needs daily insulin shots. I feel like I can't just let him die. I don't have anyone to call to take care of my cats if I'm in the hospital and I can't afford to board them. They are 10 and 12 years old so I know if they go to the SPCA they will be put down. I've never been religious and so "having faith" is something I wish I could do at this point. I've called the suicide hot line in the past and pretty much all they did was make me promise to go to the ER if I thought about hurting myself. Right now I'm not able to make any promises. I wish I could talk to someone who's been where I am, who really understands. Right now I'm having trouble thinking of reasons to keep on living. Please, can anyone relate to what I'm saying?

deleted_user 09/10/2011

huge huggins for you. im so sorry you are feeling so lonely. DS is a great place to make friends...we understand.

welcome to our community. glad that you are here!

deleted_user 09/10/2011

I've heard real good things about Abilify. The dr suggested that for me, but I couldn't afford it and there's no generic.

It would be a tragedy to give up if this med was going to work.

You are not alone, there is this community here for you, like kriskris said. Your cats need you.

And there are cages and cages of pets in shelters who need a volunteer to love them. Maybe one of your life purposes is to be a helper to animals. I think that's one of my purposes. Be good to yourself today, OK? Snail

hopefullyannon 09/10/2011

your cats care

your co-workers care

your drs and therapist care

we care

i care

the general public actually does care

i would suggest getting out and doing things with people. join a darts league or bowling or whatever else you might enjoy... something that puts you in contact with new people that you never would have met otherwise... they'll care as soon as they meet you, and they'll care even more when you become friends with some of them... and you'll feel less alone... and less depressed

i hope this helps... please keep posting here, you'll find a lot of support

*hugs*

deleted_user 09/10/2011

I can completely relate Kitty. No family or friends here anymore and my dog is the only thing that gets me out of bed somedays and he is 11 so if I gave him up he would be euthanized. I can't do that to him, so I carry on and keep trying to get my mental health in line. Give time for your meds to do their job. I care...please keep reaching out. I am here for you if you need to talk. Take care. Hugs.

deleted_user 09/10/2011

I can relate to feeling suicidal and being overwhelmed and having trouble finding faith. Please know you arenot alone. I am glad you reached out here. there are many nice people here on ds to support you. Please go to the emergency room if you really feel you are going to harm yourself. Depression lies to us and makes us feel unimportant. You are important! Hugs and prayers to you

bayrabbit01 09/10/2011

I totally understand where you are. I was hospitalized last October for overdosing. I was found by my boyfriend in a state where I was not breathing and apparently the paramedics worked on me for a while before transferring me to the hospital. This hurt my boyfriend a lot and I did promise him that it would never happen again. I have felt suicidal recently as I am seriously depressed. Your meds will kick in, in about 3-4 weeks if they help at all. It's a craps shoot as to which drugs work and which don't. Don't let your psychiatrist put you on Remeron as it makes you gain weight really quickly. I am waiting for my new meds to kick in as I just started them last week. I was on Remeron and then read about how lots of people gain a lot of weight while on that drug so got my doc to put me on one that won't have that side effect.

Hang in there. Add me as a friend.

deleted_user 09/11/2011

I can absolutely relate kittyfiftyfive. Sometimes I think it is only my cats that keep me going. I have no real friends and family that I can connect with. Give your meds time to work.

kittyfiftyfive 09/11/2011

I want to thank everyone for their responses. When I first posted, I didn't know what to expect, all I knew was that I was in a really bad place. Reading the posts of all who replied, I do feel less alone now, knowing others are on this journey with me. I am feeling a bit better today than yesterday.

bayrabbit01 09/11/2011

I am glad that you are feeling better today! Just remember...babysteps!! Everyday you will feel a little bit better and for the times that you feel like you are at your wits end.,,come here for support!!

feeshee 09/20/2011

Hello Kitty.....I so relate to your story. I was in hospital three months ago because of profound depression and extreme anxiety. Am on meds now but they seem to not be helping as much. I try to walk daily and attend group therapy every other week. Family was very supportive when I first came home (I live alone with my cat and dog). I felt I was disrupting their lives. I can't share my deepest, scariest feelings with my friends and family....I feel that they expect me to be pretty much back on my feet by now. I feel so inadequate and self-conscious around everyone. I'm sixty three years old and lost my husband of twenty years in 1989. I've worked all my life but had to quit work two years ago because of anxiety and depression. Now I have way too much time on my hands and my thinking gets really distorted. Would like to go back to work part time to lessen my financial struggles but mostly to be around people more. I feel like I've forgotten how to be social. Sometimes I think death would be welcome even though I don't want to die. The emotional pain and isolation can be so overwhelming sometimes......so very painful.. I hope that an increase in dosage of medication will help.

Please keep posting your thoughts and feelings here. These postings are so comforting because I learn that I'm not the only one who has these scary feelings and there are others who understand where I"m coming from....I'm not alone.

Sorry I'm rambling but I hope you know that you're not alone.

Take care,
Feeshee

bayrabbit01 09/20/2011

Hello Freeshee. I know what it is like to have to leave your job because of social anxiety problems. I think that getting a part-time job would be a great idea....maybe through a friend? I work with my roommate and it works out great...keeps my thinking from getting too distorted. If you feel that your mental state is getting too distorted or out of hand....go to the nearest hospital and don't stop until they get you the help that you need. Maybe you might want to consider enrolling in a support group that has meetings once a week or even one that meets 3 times a week. I know they are out there....you just have to look hard for them and keep pestering people until they give you the information that you want and need.

Just my opinion

kittyfiftyfive 09/21/2011

Hi bayrabbit01,
Thank you for sharing. In the past I have left jobs (many jobs) because of social anxiety problems, but not lately. The reason I'd like to leave my current job is that I'm bored after doing pretty much the same repetitive tasks for 11 years; it's a small company where advancement to a different position is not an option. Fortunately I'm feeling better now than when I wrote the post to which you responded. I would love to find a support group with face to face meetings but they are few and far between in my area since I don't qualify for OA, AA or NA. ACOA and CODA are possiblities that I am looking into--I do qualify for those.

Kittyfiftyfive

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