Maybe they think it's selfish because the one who commits suicide dose not bother to think about the people they have left behind...the pain and suffering as well as the guilt they now feel for the rest of their lives for not being able to prevent it.

I don't think anyone can understand why suicide is a selfish act unless someone you love takes their life. I've attempted suicide more times than I can count. I know that the time your feeling that unbearable pain your not intending to be selfish, you just so desperately want the pain to end.
It upsets me that you say you know you'll kill yourself someday. By saying and deciding this you aren't giving yourself a chance and as long as you continue with that attitude you don't stand a chance. Please at least give yourself a chance at life. I'm sure you have people who love you. Shoot, even I care. Peace be with you?

I agree with twisted heart that you don`t intend to be selfish when you commit suicde. Of course you hurt the people that love you but it`s true: It is your decision. Your life to take or to leave... You are not selfish because you want to end your pain. Actually I think that the word suicide and selfish shouldn`t even be put together in a sentence.
It is difficult for other people to understand because they can`t really see it. If it were physically and you would be lying in a hospitalbed suffering like hell because of for example a brain disease than they would want to end your suffering- either way...
Sometimes I think that it is selfish of the other people to keep us allive... It`s only because of themselfes. They don`t want us to go.
They don`t think about how we feel about getting kept allive.
And I know that my folks are suffering and worrying about me and I know that I it will get worse, so is it selfish to want to spare them the years and years of falling apart because of me? I don`t know. I don`t know anything.
Of course you have to think about the others.
Of course you have to be aware about the fact that you are crushing them.
Family. Friends. Loved ones.
We have to fight- if not for us then for them.
I know that you are not heartless and that you worry about others.
If you can`t handle your life anymore than ok...
But don`t stop fighting und trying evrything until you now for sure.
And I know you didn`t!!
I am with you

I am giving myself a chance at life, like i said i wont kill myself right away, i just want people around me to know that i did not mean to hurt anyone when i do this. i hate hurting people i really do, i help out a lot of strangers that want to talk to me, still i feel empty and useless when they find happiness and i am not needed anymore. Suicide is an option i don't think its a bad one but there are other better ones out there, and it shouldn't be selfish to want to kill yourself if it is the best route for you. I think that it is for me, but time will come when i see that the world doesn't need me anymore, and it might be coming sooner than i thought. Thank you for the replies

I wish I could take your pain away, but I realize at the end of last year, I can not. I can only be here to listen, when you want to talk. In alot of way you are right. It is your life and I can understand why you want to end your pain. I feel like the only reason I'm still here is because of two special people in my life. However at times I know I should not want to live because of them. I should want to live because of me. For some reason I can not feel love, even though I know people love me.

twistedheart is right, you can not understand why it is selfish unless you know someone else that have kill themselves. When my cousion kill himself I found him. When I told my my aunt I seen her fall apart and felt her pain. It was at that moment I realize something I never understand before.

My cousion was not a good person. When ever I would watch the news and see that someone kill someone over drugs or other crime. I would just think that was one least bad person in the world. When there mom or other family would be on the news crying that there baby die, I could not feel there pain. The day I told my Aunt and heard her scream out and say oh my god my baby boy is dead it sent chill through my spine. It was then and only then I could feel the pain of everyone that lost someone they love.

Rather we feel it are not, there is someone in our lives that love us, it is just hard for us to feel it. It is thoese people that we will hurt when we end our lives and I would never want to cause anyone the pain I seen my aunt in.

I can't say it any better than IsThereAndEnd did.

Are you getting therapy? A good therapist can work with us to find a way from where we are to where we want to be.

Gentle hugs

"Where there is desperation, may I bring hope. Where there is sadness, let me bring joy. Allow me to console, rather than to be consoled. To understand, rather than to be understood. To love, rather than to be loved. Because giving is receiving. Because it is in forgiving that we are forgiven and in dying we are born into eternal life." ~ Mother Teresa

"why is it selfish"
It enrages me when people say suicide is selfish...I think it's because they don't want to feel the pain you suffer from; as if your disease, your burdens, will transfer to them if you suicide. It seems to me to be reverse selfishness. They defer to letting you 'deal' with it so they don't have to..
Sorry to sound grim, but I am in a similar boat as you are; it's not a matter of if but when. I am still here exclusively because of others not because I want to; I consider myself a martyr as a result.

mal66 you made a good point that is what i was thinking when people tell me to not kill myself, Its selfish of me, how can it be, im giving my life away, its not like others really want to help you out anyway, i think that whole "suicide is selfish" line is a way for people that want to help but are too lazy to do so to feel like they tried to. That is what i think.

The last two posts really sadden me. What is being transferred to loved ones of people who commit suicide is heartbreak and grief. I do not think it is fair to refer to it as reverse selfishness.Are there children involved? Spouses? I do not know your situations but cannot imagine that taking your lives would not break the hearts of those you leave behind. It is your choice and you will do what you want to do but i think you are kind of minimizing how it would affect your loved ones. I have seen what suicide can do to those who remain. I have known family members who tried to do so much to help their loved ones who were is no much pain and suicidal. When they did lose their loved ones, their own lives were destroyed in many ways to. My uncle had a breakdown and never recovered from the death of his son and he died not long after, he was so heartbroken. The remaining daughter spent the next 20 years trying to comfort her mother, all the while dealing with her own grief, anger and heartbreak that continues to this day. She tried so hard to help her brother and is left with guilt of wishing she had been able to stop him from taking his life. You will make your own decisions and my heart hurts for you both..there is another side, another perspective who are left to deal with the suicide of people they love..i don't think it is selfish of them to love you so much that they want you to live. Again, i do not know your family situations or how much support you may have or may have not received, but just wanted to share another perspective.

well susyq everyones live situtaions are so different. as far as suisside . you mention the broken hearts.left behind. what about the ppl who have no one . like me. there is no one even my siblings . i have not talked to any of them sinse 1997. they do not know or even care if im alive or dead. my pain and anguish is soo deep just no choise left i am welcoming death with open arms. to no longer be in all this pain.it is slowly killing me, just want to speed it up.

A friend of mine when I was 15 committed suicide. I remember people talking and saying the act was selfish..yet I could only remember the pain or what was going through her mind when she did it and how I could've prevented her from doing it... people judge yet they can't begin to understand unless they have been in a similar situation

They say it's selfish because the pain you leave loved ones afar you go. OK, I understand that...but what about the pain that people with severe depression suffer? IMO I don't think it's selfish. I'm in the same boat as you. So I know the pain.

Go to a couple funerals and sit at the back and listen to the crying.
People say it is selfish because they will be sad when the dead person is gone.
They will miss the dead person.

Of course, no one knows if they gave a crap while the dead person was alive. No one bothers to spend time with me or even call.
One guy at work even spread mean gossip about me.
Bet they'd say I was selfish for doing it. That would just relieve them of responsibility for being mean to me when I was alive.

I don't think I answered your question! SOrry, maybe I don't have any answer.

susyq10,
I don't want to (purposely) transfer any pain to anyone and I suppose that's what keeps me here...however at some point what little motivation I have to keep going will succomb to the urge of terminally self-infliction..This becomes possibly when all of one's negative ideations of self over-powers any love for others. Isolation sets in and provides the vehicle to suicide. Being consumed with irrational thoughts beyond one's control is a byproduct of the disease itself. I don't think any 'rational' mind is capable of terminating their life which in itself is a very difficult task; the success rate is not that high. Labeling a suicide selfish is futile, inconsequential, & minimizes the effects of the disease...