Suicide is an angry, solitary act. My mother committed suicide when I was very young -- as in two and a half years old. My brother and I and our father never really recovered. Especially my father, who is committing suicide, although at a much slower rate, with alcohol.

And change your screen name. Calling yourself hurtful names won't help you either. Now is the time to treat yourself well, not beat up on yourself.

suicide is an act of a desperate person I know I was on the brink a few years ago myself but I am quite a strong person really and could not hurt the ones I love that for me would be too painfull to bear more painfull than any pain I was feeling eveyone is differant and will apply logic to thier own situation I think suicide is a way out. I prefer to face my demons head on but thats me. I accept that some people get overwhelmed and commit the act my partner father did last year his wife of 45 years died so he took his own life as he could not live without her that I can understand he was 77 years old and confined to a wheelchair the guy who started this topic has his whole life ahead of him now thats differant!

i can see that suicide is a selfish act i have tried a few times and have watched the pain i have put my family through each time even though i have been unsucessful. however, when i feel that bad i dont care about the pain of others, i only care about ending my own pain. so i suppose it is selfish. but to be told im selfish doesnt make me want to live it only confirms in my mind that i am a bad person. i am feeling suicidal again, set a date, made the plans, organised things for when im gone but i do genuinely think after my family have grieved they will be better off in the long run. is it not just as selfish to stay alive and expect them to look after me, see me getting sectioned, handcuffed by police and carted off to hospital again. who knows.

I do not know. I feel myself so bad that it is impossible to tolerate. I do not know what to say somebody in such condition because i know that not a lot can help. Perhaps you should think about your relatives. I do not know what kind of relations you have with your relatives but different people have different tolerance level when they loose somebody. There are people divorcing every day and only I feel like I am dying every day as result of attempting divorce. I do not even try to imagine how I would feel if i would loose somebody close to me to suicide. I probably would go caput immidietly myself. You do not know whether your parents or siblings will survive. Some of them might actually have weak nerves system like me and go caput too. My grandmother in mental hospital now because she wanted jump into well to suicide. She said that she prayed and God brought to her thought how bad it will look for other people who will have to get her out of the well afterwords. So far she takes half of the pill of Trazodone (Tritico) per day which is not a lot in comparison with the amount of staff I had to take just to be able to lay or sit. That helped her considerably. hope it will continue working for her. I know from your other posts that you do not like to take medications. I do not like it too but there are situations when there is not other choice. The harm done to your body by pill is much less in comparison to loosing life completely. One problem is that pills do not help sometimes but only thing we can do is trying and hoping for the best.

@mal66

I did not say that I thought suicide was selfish..that was the topic of the thread. It just struck a chord with me when someone had previously commented that those left behind are the ones who are selfish, I think there are family/friends etc who try very hard to help and I do know there are those who have no one and have family/friends who are not their for them.I did not mean to diminish their pain whatsoever..i have alot of compassion for anyone feeling that much pain and anguish and wish that no one felt that alone in such a dark place.

A close friend of mine committed suicide two days ago. We all missed the signs. Was he selfish? I think so. He left behind people that have to live with that stigma for the rest of their lives. He made a decision that is going to have an incredible, negative impact on all our lives. Who gave him the power to mess with my life? He had no right. I'm speaking at his service in two days. Fuck. I miss him.

well jeez Reg63 you sound like you really cared for him, but you need to understand that he did not want to hurt anyone, and sometimes the pain that depressed people go through is so hard that they dont really want to hurt anyone else in the process, so they alienate themselves. He knew he would leave people behind when he would die, hoping the best for them after he did. I say this because this is how i feel sometimes as well. Dont say he is selfish for doing it he just wanted what was the best for him, and who are you to say so otherwise that his act was wrong. Dont mean to disrespect anyone.

No offence taken. This place is supposed to be about exchanging feelings, thoughts and ideas. No holds barred.
So........try to follow my twisted logic. He's dead. Gone. Nada. No more pain. I'm stuck here, feeling miserable because of his action. I can't get rid of the miserable feeling. It's with me for good. Did he ask me if he could change my life so profoundly? No. Would I have allowed him to, if he had asked? No. Did he know this? Yes! Hence, a selfish act, not taking into consideration how I have to deal with this for the rest of MY life. I know you'll twist this to make me look like the selfish one, but it makes sense in my warped little world.

I also think that those people have no right to feel that you are being selfish. Of all the times I got told that I shouldn't think like that because its being selfish, I would like to say to them, "And what makes it selfish? The fact that you didn't care enough to do anything about it?" I mean, if I want to end my life, I will end it. Yes I do care about people, but in the end, where do we have to turn? Nothing goes right and it all goes downhill, even past the point of no return, of complete bottom. There always seems to be a lower bottom. I think that people who are saying suicide is selfish are being selfish themselves, because it will inconvenience them. That is all they are worried about, nothing more. I mean really, why should I stick around for someone, when they don't even care to spend time with me. To not ridicule me, or belittle me. Its just another person using you. And just because they may not suffer from this disease doesn't mean that they can't be understanding. Just think of all the other diseases that people go through, and they always have people right next to them, holding their hand. People really need to look in the mirror. Selfish my ass!

Point taken sourrouded.... Reread my post and realized how selfish I sound. I'm not really getting my point across. I'm not even sure what my point is. Anger, guilt? I know they say it's normal but that doesn't make it easier. Even that sounds selfish. I think I'm stuck in a loop. Attended the funeral yesterday and it was just sad. Maybe it's not selfish, but it sure is sad.

Well Dumbidiot (if that's your real name lol), I have cared enough about you to see where you've been and hope that you didn't go thru with your suicide wish to end your life by the new year. I'm pleased to see you alive and stirring up conversation.
My 2 cents... Although sad and tragic, it is not a selfish act to me. One would have to be rational to premeditate selfishness to others and unfortunately, you are not thinking of others or yourself when you are attempting it. Planning and all are just symptoms (warnings?) before the act but the act itself I imagine is impulsive and born out of desparation that there is no end in site. Logic and clear thinking are no longer present as to the cause and effects on people that know us. What I would still argue is that many of us like and care about you on here and if that is true, just by shear statistics, there has to be good people in your area as well. As hard as it is to face, there must be some perception in how you view your surroundings that needs changed.
Now, if you really want to get things stirred up, selfish is not the word that pisses me off. It is when they call it a "cowardly act". An assumption that you were too weak to and cowardly to handle life with no respect for the suffering endured. In my opinion, it is a jealous justification for them to keep living life with no compassion for others. In any event, I hope you hang around with us for years to come, buddy. -=SB=-

I agree that the word "selfish" by itself does not really provide a full explanation of what it meant by saying this.
I have heard one particular person say in an angry way that "anyone who commits suicide is simply selfish".
I think what needs to be said is that when a person commits suicide that it can have a profound life impact on those that they leave behind.
To say that a person would do this for sherely selfish reasons, I believe is inaccurate.
People who kill themselves, in my experience do so because they can either not withstand the pain, hopeless and other emotions
that they are experiencing and see no other options.
Some people do it out of extreme shame or humiliation.
I think that a compassionate way to express the "selfishness" issue might be to say that
suicide can leave those that are left behind feeling traumatized, bereaved and in some cases guilty and forever scarred.
However, interestingly enough, years ago, I did hear
and older woman express relief that her son had finally
killed himself because he was so tormented by drugs and
alcohol which led to incarceration, depression etc...
At the time, I was young and my jaw just dropped.
It was hard to understand but I guess she either felt relieved from knowing that he wasn't in pain anymore and/ or that she was free from the ongoing humiliation and chaos that
he was causing her family.
Just my thoughts on the subject.

I understand feeling suicidal and I don't think people who commit suicide are trying to BE selfish....I believe they are truly in more pain than they can cope with and don't see a solution or end to the pain. But it IS a selfish act....because the people who are left behind who care about you (and trust me there is NO ONE alive who doesn't have SOMEONE who cares about them) suffer greatly.

I read a really interesting book written by a medium who had communication with like 16 spirits who all had committed suicide. Every single one said they regretted it. Party because they now understand that they still basically have to deal with same problems that they had when they were alive but can't work on them as well in spirit form and cannot go back and change things...and also because they could genuinely FEEL the pain, hurt and suffering that they caused others. That book really affected my thinking.

Stay with us please!!

My brother attempted suicide once our whole family was so devastated and I'm glad he is still here today and I still Blane myself for him attempting it. He's on the the right ness now is doing better. I attempted an overdose a year and 2 months ago and ended in the psych ward for 3 weeks I remember how scared and upset my family was . I still get suicidal on a weekly basis but when I think back to the pain I saw in their faces I can't do that to them. And I remover how I felt when my brother tried. Hope you get the help u need hun

I am very depressed and unhappy. I don't have much to be happy about. My daughter told me that my grandkids don't want to be around me because I yell at them too much. I don't mean to do that, it's just the way I was brought up. Children live what they learn. My son told me he hated me last summer, then apologized. Neither of them ever visit me and I live alone.
Two weeks ago I took sleeping pills and drank a bottle of wine. I just wanted to go to sleep and stop the pain that is constantly going on in my head and in my body.My niece called my son to tell him I wouldn't answer the door and I ended up going to the hospital in an ambulance. I felt very horrible the next day. My son wouldn't even pick me up from the hospital. Both my kids called me selfish for trying to kill myself and that I only think of myself. Now my grandkids aren't allowed to speak to me and I can't see them. It's hard for me to understand why they are so angry at me yet won't even communicate with me. If this is truly how they feel, why are they so upset if I want to die? They are the only reason I'm here and yet where are they when I need them most? I think they are the selfish ones for "punishing" me this way. I went to the doctor and now I'm taking Prozac. We will see what happens. Personally, I think the best way to handle this is to live your life. Forget them and go forward and make a new life for yourself.