Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have been doing pretty well lately with my drug recovery and I had started to talk with a guy I met a while ago. We have not known eachother that long,a little over 2 months. He knows that I have really only been with jerk guys that have hurt me one way or another. He would text me or let me call him if I was nervous while alone. Recently we had been hanging out more and pretty much been dating. I thought this guy was different. Last night we slept together and he left while i was asleep. He won't respond to my calls or texts except one that said hes busy. This really hurts. He used me and acted like this good person that was there for me and understood what I had been through. All he wanted was to sleep with me? I have been crying all day and I don't get it. I don't know how I am going to stay on track while feeling like this. I don't know what to say I am so upset.
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
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I too have to say all males are not like that at all. Sure there are certain types who have only one interest but I've found most males are more interested in long term partners.
I've never had casual sex in my life, and I lived through the 60's. It just holds no attraction for me and many men feel the same.
I suspect you may be over reacting to this as it is only the next day and he could be busy. It does happen you know.
And don't forget he too has feelings and may be finding it hard to know how to react now you have slept together. If you are ringing up and leaving angry, tearful messages you will ensure you scare him off. Men are also sensitive and scare easily you know.
Take your time with him, ease off the pressure and try a nice message just saying it was wonderful being together and you'd like to see him again soon. Not make demands. With a demands and tears response every male would run for his life I'm afraid and that has nothing to do with the build up to the first time. It's about what might be the rest of his life, terrifying.
Please forgive me if I'm off-target here. I'm also in recovery...gave up drugs years ago, alcohol was my demon far longer. Only a few sober days, in comparison to the rest of my life...August 2, I'll have a year clean from alcohol.
I only mention that to let you know...I'm not unfamiliar with recovery efforts.
This guy hurt your feelings. Maybe he's truly otherwise occupied, or maybe he's a jerk.
I was told not to make any major life changes in early recovery, including starting new intimate relationships.
Instead, focus on self-forgiveness...getting rid of the guilt...finding a level of peace. These are the things that will keep you well.
Do you have a sponsor...are you working a 12-step program?
having recently been cheated on, i can understand your frustration.
but no, all guys are not like this.
coming to the realization that i was married to a sex addict has been traumatizing, and no doubt will affect future relationships for me. you just have to take whatever valuable information you can and learn from it.
i think my self-esteem was already horrible to begin with, so for me it will be a long time before i choose to have sex again. it's funny (well it's not) but as soon as word got out about my ex cheating, one of my old male friends immediately began contacting me on facebook trying to get me to go out with him. i deleted him, and haven't spoken to him since.
take care of you....SOME guys are jerks (just as some gals are) and may take advantage of your vulnerability. my suggestion? if you have feelings for someone, and don't want to be used for sex....don't give it up while you're "pretty much" dating. you're worth more than that :)
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whats the big deal?
try enjoying it next time.
You have a lot to learn about yourself before you can begin to pick new healthy people in your life- which translates into good healthy relationships.
Maybe he IS busy.
2 months and he is in your shorts? Although poors post made me giggle its rather a good point. You cannot have a committed relationship in such a short time. Self respect rules... if he/she is still around after 6 months then and only then consider it. Anyone (male or female) who wants to put another notch in the belt will not persist that long they will lose interest. It was a casual encounter time to move on and dont look back. Anyone who preys on emotional/physically vulnerable people like that is total shit and does not deserve your tears. You are better than that piece of refuse...you know it ...now prove it to yourself.