Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
20 years ago, I almost flunked out of college. However, at the beginning of 1994, I made an effort to do better in my classes. With the help of professors who actually gave a damn rather than treat the class as an obligation, I managed to get an A- average. I managed to resurrect my hope of becoming an engineer. It wasn't to last. 18 months later, I changed majors. All that effort for nothing. 20 years later, it's as if none of that ever happened as while I excelled in that new major, it was once again, a wasted effort. I'm 7+ years unemployed, over educated and under skilled. Most of the people I knew then have gone on to successful careers, have families, etc. I'm still stuck in place.
Yet, a part of me wants to go back to that time. There was hope, a small glimmer, yes, but it was there. Now, I have none. If I could have one wish fulfilled, it would be to repeat 1994-1996 over and over again. I had stumbled, fallen, gotten up, stumbled and gotten up. I had an apartment, a good job where I felt useful and appreciated, no debt and three friends who actually gave a damn about me. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. Now, I have nothing at all. It's hurts so much just to think about it How I wish I had died that winter of 1996 when my life was at its zenith. "What happened to you?" I'm sure they'll ask. I don't know.
I know people will tell me to keep on trying, but I don't see the point. That advice might have convinced me 20 years ago, but I see life as fickle. You can work hard, etc, but it's all luck in the end. It's why everyone has heard of Alexander Graham Bell and not Elisha Gray As it is, I don't have the energy to do it anymore. I can barely get through the day as it is.
Yet, a part of me wants to go back to that time. There was hope, a small glimmer, yes, but it was there. Now, I have none. If I could have one wish fulfilled, it would be to repeat 1994-1996 over and over again. I had stumbled, fallen, gotten up, stumbled and gotten up. I had an apartment, a good job where I felt useful and appreciated, no debt and three friends who actually gave a damn about me. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. Now, I have nothing at all. It's hurts so much just to think about it How I wish I had died that winter of 1996 when my life was at its zenith. "What happened to you?" I'm sure they'll ask. I don't know.
I know people will tell me to keep on trying, but I don't see the point. That advice might have convinced me 20 years ago, but I see life as fickle. You can work hard, etc, but it's all luck in the end. It's why everyone has heard of Alexander Graham Bell and not Elisha Gray As it is, I don't have the energy to do it anymore. I can barely get through the day as it is.
Do you have others to talk to? Try a therapist, maybe medication if needed. There are other options,cand it takes some effort, but the effort does not need to be huge. Many wonderful people here to talk with you.
I too wish sometimes to be stuck in a certain time. I too am asking myself where that strong, positive, go getter has gone. I'm still searching to. Its been a rough last five years for me. Divorce, depression and a real hard time with dealing with abuse that happened many years ago. I thought I moved past it, but instead I stuffed it.
Anyways, the feeling your having now will not last forever, it may be with you for a while and sometimes come back, but we have to give ourselves another day to try. Your not alone and many of us will listen and help if we can. Take it small, and work towards just getting through today. Look to others, speak to others, do something you live and haven't done in awhile. Keep it simple, you dont have to be at the top of a mountain today or tomorrow. Hugs to you, they come in dozens around here.
Now I'm eeking out a living doing wedding videos and writing blogs.
Have you ever thought about writing 2-3 articles (for free) about engineering so you have published samples of your writing floating out there in cyberspace? Then fill out a free profile on paid blog-writing sites (I'm on skyword.com), use those previously published articles as samples for companies to contact you to write articles on engineering, a field which you're obviously an expert on and in which there google searches on related articles would yield an unlimited number of topics for you to write about!
Skyword pays anywhere from $40-$3,000 per article depending on client and word count. I'm making $120 per 300-700 word article, which is maybe 3-4 short paragraphs, and only takes me 1-2 hours per article to do.
IT TURNED OUT TO BE A BRAIN TUMOR IN 2009.
COULDNT GET DISABILITY EVEN AFTER SURGERY.
I KINDA FEEL USELESS A LITTLE SOMETIMES.
CANT FUNCTION BECAUSE OF MEDS AND HEALTH.
I SEE OTHER WOMEN RAISING CHILDREN AND GRANDS AND/OR HAVE PROFESSIONAL JOBS.
I M THANKFUL 2 HAVE A HUBBY WHO WORKS HARD AND IS SUPPORTIVE OF ME.
TRULY, I KNOW HOW U FEEL.
THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE IN TOMORROW.
HUGS