Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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BrooklynnMB 02/03/2014

So much is going on. I posted a while ago about how my ex and I had been seeing each other but were taking a break for a few weeks (his idea) well the break ended early because I found out I was pregnant and had to tell him. Things were going ok, we were both scared about the pregnancy but had decided that we would try and work things out together. He was being very supportive. Well today I am 99% sure I have had a miscarriage, although I won't know for sure until Wednesday. Now I most likely have to deal with the loss of a baby, and perhaps my ex will not want to stay with me since I'm no longer pregnant with his baby. That isn't my top concern right now however. Right now I am just hoping it wasn't really a miscarriage. Although lots of bleeding and lots of cramping. Still, I was actually kind of happy for a few days because although it was unplanned, we were going to try to work things out and have a baby. Now, neither of those things is happening for sure. I am feeling so awful today. I just really need some support.

gramybear 02/03/2014

Sweety, I really hope you didn't miscarriage, however, having a baby has never saved a marriage that I know of. It only makes resentment when one or the other partner wants to leave the relationship. I too had bleeding with my second child but by the grace of God, he was born nice and healthy. I pray that will be your case. If not, you will find out if your husband wants to be with you, or just feels responsible. I know you wouldn't want to hang on to a man that didn't love you. I will keep you and the baby in my prayers. Please let us know what you find out. Hugs GB

BrooklynnMB 02/03/2014

I know he loves me. I just think that he may have moved on by now. We broke up 6 months ago. It was supposed to just be a break but I think it has turned into more than that. But, like I said, right now my biggest worry is this possible miscarriage. The cramps were so bad this morning I was curled up in the fetal position. Not a good sign.

ThePepperMan 02/03/2014

There are a lot of options and choices in your future, for now you are right, the first major event is to determine if you still are pregnant. There are some good support groups in real life for people in your situation. Certainly your BF (ex BF?) needs to be part of things if you are pregnant, but please seek the support of people who do NOT have a vested interest in your decisions.

Gentle hugs

WanderingVet 02/03/2014

You did not mention ... have you seen a doctor? If not, .. get to one ... IMMEDIATELY.

Lapsmom10 02/03/2014

Gramybear is right honey. A baby has never saved a marriage or a relationship. In fact, having a baby often adds more stress to relationshiips. They are blessings indeed, but their are not marriage or relationship counselors.

I'm so sorry if you are indeed having a miscarriage. It is very sad to lose a pregnancy. I lost my first pregnancy at 11 weeks. Just about all of my friends lost a pregnancy as well, but have gone on to have beautiful children.

As for your bf, if he truly wants to be with you, you won't have to have ANY other reason in place other than his love for YOU. If he stays only out of obligation, your relationship will soon suffer as he will resent the fact that he's there. Honey there is someone out there for you, so hold your head up and be seen!

Keep us posted sweetie on how you're doing. Did you go to the ER?

Lapsmom10 02/03/2014

Excuse my grammar! I meant 'they're nt marriage couselors'!

BlueYonderDreams 02/04/2014

I hope and pray you have not suffered a miscarriage, but a baby cannot be expected to fix a relationship. If he is only with you out of obligation then that is a very weak foundation for a relationship. A foundation that weak is likely to crack and crumble. Either he would leave or he would stay, but with a lot of resentment and unhappiness. I admire you both for attempting to step up and make it work for the child, but staying together solely out of obligation isn't a good way to raise a child if it creates a lot of unhappiness in the end. Sometimes the best solution is to co-parent as single parents.

I grew up in an unhappy household with constant fighting. Just take a look at my profile to see my list of issues. This is the kind of effect an unhappy, resentful relationship can do to a child.

I am so sorry if you lose your child. Losing a relationship on top of that must be a nightmare, I'm sure. But the end of the relationship might be for the best if you are not the reason he is with you.

deleted_user 02/04/2014

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for your loss. Children really are (no joke), they really are a gift from God.

My heart is broken for you.

*HUGE HUGS from a fellow cheesehead

BrooklynnMB 02/04/2014

Yes I did go to the doctor. They did an hCG level and it was 16. Tomorrow they are going to do another one to see if it was a miscarriage or not. I'm pretty sure it was though. A lot of cramping and bleeding and the pregnancy symptoms I was having before are gone.

BrooklynnMB 02/04/2014

I'm feeling just awful today. There is so much I need to do. I have homework that must be done by tomorrow, no excuses. But I can't focus, I can't even stop crying.

deleted_user 02/04/2014

you have the RIGHT to cry.

what you are going through is simply awful. HUGS

BrooklynnMB 02/04/2014

I know a pregnancy doesn't "save" a relationship. It just seemed as if things were going to work out. Now I have no idea if they will or not.

deleted_user 02/04/2014

Listen, I think some of the responses here were a bit harsh. I would be a mess if I were in your situation. Not only are you unsure about your relationship, but you may be dealing with the loss of a baby. You are dealing with grief on two levels. You say you can't stop crying, but this is what loss does to us. In addition to the Depression group, there are several grief related groups on here as well where you may get additional support. And yes, dealing with a break-up is a form of grief.
Take care.

muskrattiger 02/04/2014

I will keep you in my prayers .......god bless

Lapsmom10 02/05/2014

I'm sorry Brooklyn that you're having to deal with all of this. It was such a hard time when I was dealing with my bf, and a miscarriage and work. I understand that you feel very upset and overwhelmed right now. I didn't think that I'd get through it. I thought that I'd always feel lost and empty with no baby and no bf.

Well things turned around and I became pregnant again and had a beautiful little boy. My bf and I didn't work out, but I hold no regret. I got to see that we weren't supposed to be together after all.

Whatever the outcome of the test, this is not the end. Take the time to grieve and to cry, just know that many women go through this so you are not alone in your pain. Keep your head high sweetie. Keep us posted, we want to support you.

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