Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi Everyone,
A few months ago I posted here looking for advice from all of you so I can help my depressed husband. I took your advice (thank you all). Long story short, I have been dealing with my husband's depression for 8 yrs. now. I have been supportive, loving and caring through all of his tantrums, anger, rage and isolation periods.
This last year he has completely ignored me and rejected me at every turn. There is nothing I can say or do to get him close to me. He is not cheating because all he does is goes to work, come home and play X-Box for hours. This is his escape. I have provided him tons of information on depression but this just sends him off the deep end denying that he is depressed. Gets him very angry!
A little family background..his mother, father, brother, grandfather are depressed. My husband was also diagnosed with depression as a teen. He says that his depression was cured!
This is my question...Where do I go from here? I have a man in my life that I love dearly that refuses to get help and is devasting my life.
I seeked out emotional help myself because I felt all of this was making me feel like crap. Unloved, ignored, at fault etc.
I'm reaching out to all of you because unfortunately you live with depression and understand this better.
Thank you for your advice!
A few months ago I posted here looking for advice from all of you so I can help my depressed husband. I took your advice (thank you all). Long story short, I have been dealing with my husband's depression for 8 yrs. now. I have been supportive, loving and caring through all of his tantrums, anger, rage and isolation periods.
This last year he has completely ignored me and rejected me at every turn. There is nothing I can say or do to get him close to me. He is not cheating because all he does is goes to work, come home and play X-Box for hours. This is his escape. I have provided him tons of information on depression but this just sends him off the deep end denying that he is depressed. Gets him very angry!
A little family background..his mother, father, brother, grandfather are depressed. My husband was also diagnosed with depression as a teen. He says that his depression was cured!
This is my question...Where do I go from here? I have a man in my life that I love dearly that refuses to get help and is devasting my life.
I seeked out emotional help myself because I felt all of this was making me feel like crap. Unloved, ignored, at fault etc.
I'm reaching out to all of you because unfortunately you live with depression and understand this better.
Thank you for your advice!
If the marriage is the be-all and the end-all of your lives, and you are both in agreement with this, then you both have a MUTAL GOAL that creates a (additional) partnership. Instead of him treating you like an enemy, or you treating him like an enemy, you both have a common enemy - the destruction of your marriage.
It sounds stupid, but try to make changes and improvements in your mutual lives for the sake of the MARRIAGE, not the sake of each other.
When the marriage is elevated, respected, repaired and maintained, you will both enjoy residual benefits of the process.
I was the same way, I denyed that I was depressed for years, all I did was work eat and sleep. I wasn't married but I totally isolated myself from everyone, and then one day I woke up and realized what I had done. I had no friends, my family had written me off as a lost cause, except for my brother. He was the one that cared enough about me to make me get up and help myself, I stood back and took a long look at myself and my life, and I desided that I wanted to live, and I got off my ass and did something about it. The point is he will not do this until he is ready, but you should not put your life on hold just because he has give up on life ( for now ), He will eventually come around but it will be on his terms, and when he is ready. Maybe when he sees that you are not going to stop living just because he has, maybe this will turn him around.
Another thing you said, He thinks that his depression was cured,I hate to hear that because I don't believe there is a cure for depression, it can be fought, and you can over come the symptoms, but it is a day to day fight, and a life long fight, but the good news is you can have a happy, productive life, it just takes a lot hard work on his part, but once he has over come the need to isolate himself, and escape by way of video games, and desides to fight this head on he can over come this and be happy once again.
The point I am makeing is you live your life to the fullest, be happy, don't stop living just because he has, I believe this will help him more than anything. The thing about depression in some is misery loves company, and as long as he sees that you are there with him, and you are as unhappy as he is, then why should he try to help himself, he has what he wants.
So my advise to you is get out and live girl, it wont be long and he will follow.
I did contact his mother but she shyed away from talking about this. she can't cope with her life let alone help her son. Frustrating!
My biggest fault here is that I totally engrossed myself in trying to help him and for a few months lost myself.
I am not giving up on him but I am going to continue with life as I lived it previously. I gave up seeing friends and going out because I felt I had to be here for him all the time.
Eyesonyou you are correct! I need to get out and live.
Netminded he's not thinking clearly right now. My strategy is to try to get him engaged with me anyway I can. I'll definitely give your advice a try.
Thank again all
I just wanted to let you all know that tonight I went out and had a real great time.
I realized I was dying a slow painful death sitting around the house trying to make everything right.
Once again thanks for your help.