Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Mental Health
/ Depression Support Group

Trying to Dig Myself Out

lizzles13
lizzles13

I'm very grateful that I found this website today. I've been really struggling with depression a lot for about the last three or so months, but it came to a head in the last week after I registered for a certificate program this coming fall. I'm having a lot of trouble with self-doubt and motivation with this decision due to my depression. The money has really been stressing me out, even though I make enough income at my current job and my partner has offered to help financially. I've been so anxious and feeling really guilty about registering for school that it's caused insomnia. I've also felt like a failure for a long time because I didn't succeed gaining work in my field of choice despite interning and volunteering for several years consistently after college, while the work just fell into the laps of many of my friends who graduated from the same program as me.  


I know going back to school is the right decision for me given all of this, but it's been very difficult to give up my old goals. It's been very painful because it's letting go of an old life that I had, and it's bringing up a lot of sad and hopeless feelings that I had previously dealt with again. I tried to hide it from all of my friends and family the last few months, but after a particularly bad week of missing work and social events several days in a row, my partner is insisting that I get help. I've had bad experiences with therapists in the past, so I'm hesitant to look for another. I also don't feel comfortable talking to my family, as there is a history of suicide in my family and I don't want to worry them. 


I started taking 5-HTP recently and going to an acupuncturist in hopes that it will help physically stabilize my mood, but I'm worried that won't completely get rid of my depression. Anyone have any advice for sorting out the emotional component of depression without a therapist? 

SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Welcome aboard this DS lifeboat Lis. All posts welcome unless a spammer. When I first came onboard, I read lots of post replies. Lots of folks share tools that helped them move out of a depression. Saying good by puts us in a grief process. It is a huge loss. The old life was a part of your identity, and the new one isn't in place yet. I have found at times that I had to sort out depression from grief. I also have a family history of depression, which is where genetics play a part. Some folks have found diets that help with their depression. You might want to look for a therapist who specializes in depression versus treating everything. I have always looked for one who specializes in whichever issue needed to be dealt with. Read away and post away. You are now a part of this group. Calming and comforting hugs.
AnnieToman
AnnieToman
well from experience i understand there is a self feeding loop you can get into. it starts with stress, and as it builds it gets to the point where anxiety enters the picture at that point depression sets in and makes the stress harder to deal with if gone unchecked you can spiral downward getting more and more depressed, another added symtom of the stress is sleep disturbence. which also adds to the coping process. what i found that helps a lot is a anti- psychotic called seroquel, it works by calming the thought processes making it easier to control your stress and anxiety , and a larger night time dose will help you sleep so its a win win thing . its not like a anti- depressant it doesnt mess you up so its harder to function, it just help you not to think totaly on the stress and actually helps you think clearer. its the only psycho active drug i take and at one point without it i had chronic depression thats under control now. but you need a script to get it maybe your family doctor can write you one. i take 100MG to sleep and 50 as needed for stress during the day. hope that helps , if you choose to for go this you need to google stress reduction and reduce your stress to break the loop. there was a drug you can get that may help you thats mail order. its called PHENOBUT, its a powder that you need to measure out 50MG to add to your morning coffee so a scale is needed. it helps elavate your mood and it does a good job doing that. after a month of that i didnt need it any longer between the 2 drugs i was totaly depression free. only use the seroquel now at bedtime because i have insomnia.
auntierhon55
auntierhon55
It is amazing that we can grieve the death of a person and a dream. Giving up on a dream is also a loss. So you definitely have a right to feel the way you do. A co-worker told me this, and I will always remember it. There are many ways to get where you want to be. Sometimes the path is straight, and sometimes it is not. Please know you aren't a failure. You fail when you stop doing anything. You fail when you give up on bettering yourself, and that's the case with you. Smile! You have the money to go to school, and if you run short, you have someone who can step in and help. When things come together like this for me, I know that it's meant for me to follow through.
Going to school is the right decision. The third thing you said is, my partner. Sometimes we underestimate the power of having someone in our lives and our corner. Please lean on that partner. This person is there for a reason. They made a great suggestion. No one wants to go to the hospital, but I would get a good physical. Things change all the time. A good physical is a great idea. If you broke your arm, you wouldn't put it off; you would quickly go to the doctor. Mentally you are not where you need to be so why the reluctance is? I have had some good and bad counselors, but it doesn't take long to know if you have a good one. So why not commit to going a few visits to see if this person can help. If not, try someone else. Just because you see someone a few times does not mean you are locked into seeing them forever. Your mental health is just as important as your spiritual and physical health. Be kind to yourself. If you are doing your best, then give yourself credit for that.
mattster
mattster
We're glad you found us too. Keep the faith. Things can and will get better.
IrishGreyhound
IrishGreyhound
I suffered financial anxiety for a while after college when I was constantly between jobs, I took to making monthly budgets with Mint and it calmed my anxiety over money and really empowered me.
It can be really hard to find a therapist you like. Its even harder to go in with an open mind, but I will always recommend sticking it out. When you are dealing with things like guilt, its hard to overcome by yourself.
I see you are into the herbal/'natural' approach. I have had excellent luck with amino acid Gaba. Take one for anxiety attacks and take two for insomnia, I have been using it in tandem with prescription antidepressants for a while now. Amazon has bottles for $10.
Ghostwolf04
Ghostwolf04
5 htp helps me when I can't sleep. L-theanine is a great alternative to prosac. Also a diet high in whole grains helps keep serotonin levels steady. If you eat a lot of sugar or processed foods it not only causes blood sugar spikes but serotonin spikes and drops as well.
There are plenty of self help books available for free at the library. You could also try switching birth control pills to help hormonal mood swings. That's what I have, bad PMS.
Anyway, I get the stress and feeling of failure. I often look back at my college days and remember being happier and more hopeful. I wish I had gone on to do more. I wish I had been more outgoing and learned to network.
It's ok to change plans and not be perfect. You have to adapt to what life throws at you and persevere thru it. Don't guilt yourself or have doubts until you have at least one semester down. I'm sure once you get back to school you won't be so nervous:)
nightingale77
nightingale77
Hi there, sorry to hear you are going through so much right now.... On the other hand, you have a very supportive partner. You are indeed very blessed my dear. I went through few rough years regulating my emotions. Only recently, I started taking hormones pill that help me tremendously. My mood is better regulated and less anxious. I really don’t understand the science of it but it helped me. Hopefully you will be able to discover ways that help you to cope better. Praying for you. God bless!