Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

Baby look here at me- have u ever seen me this way.... i've been fumblin for words- through the tears and the hurt and the pain.... i'm gonna lay it all out on the line tonight- and i think thats it time - to tell this uphill fight goodbye- have u ever had to love someone - that just don't feel the same- tryin to take somebody care for you the way i do- is like trying to catch the rain- and if love is really forever - i'm a winner at a losing game- i know that baby u tried to find me somewhere inside of you- but u know u can't lie , boy u can't hide the truth- sometimes two hearts just can't dance to the same beat- so i'll pack up my things and i'll take what remains of me.... Matty, i truly do Love you- and i'm so glad u are finally happy.... please just continue to be happy-i know i never told u this - you always reminded me of an eagle- u felt caged and u wanted to be set free and fly .... well soar above those clouds- you've shown everyone u can get out there and work and do things u never thought you could- take Karen with you and fly away together- cause you 2 need each other and u belong together.... u will always be in my heart and i'll always love you.... but i have to let you go..... if u ever need a friend or a shoulder to cry on- i'll always be around.... i never thought i'd be able to feel this way about anyone after Andy- but knowing that Karen is smiling , while i cry these tears- that makes it all worth the sacrifice i am making... i stand by my word - though i will eventually move on- my heart will always be in waiting , in hopes we will someday be together- might not be til we are in heaven, but someday i'll see u again, i'll get to see that smile and hear that laugh and give u a hug and know that u know i loved u enough to do what was right.... just promise me u are ok.... i'll always stand by you- and be on ur side 100 percent.... don't work too hard and know that someone out there is praying and thinking about you and i know god will watch over u for me..... goodbye my love , my swanky, my everything...... :( - i'm having a hard time- this is the 4th week- the longest i've gone without talking to my ex in over a year and so its really hard for me.... i hope ya'll don't mind me posting this- if u do- please just ignore my post.....

deleted_user 04/21/2008

Brandi, you can post whatever you like. It helps to write and get things out. Keep writing if you need to and remember I am always here for you.

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

thank u so much big sis - i don't know what i'd do w/ out you ! xxxxxxxxxx!--- i feel like an idiot - i love him and i mean nothing to him- so why does this hurt so much.... :(

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

Another night slowly closes in and I feel so lonely
Touching heat freezing on my skin I pretend you still hold me
I'm going crazy I'm losing sleep I'm in too far
I'm in way too deep over you
I can't believe you're gone You were the first You'll be the last
CHORUS:
Wherever you go I'll be with you
Whatever you want I'll give it to you
Whenever you need someone To lay your heart and head upon
Remember after the fire After all the rain
I will be the flame I will be the flame
Watching shadows move across the wall Feels so fright'ning
I wanna run to you I wanna call But I've been hit by lightning
Just can't stand up for falling apart
Can't see through this veil across my heart over you
You'll always be the one You were the first You'll be the last
CHORUS:
I'm going crazy I'm losing sleep I'm in too far I'm in way too deep over you
You'll always be the one You were the first You'll be the last

I Love You and Always Will!

This is exactly how i feel..

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

i need some alcohol- i could just take a whole bottle of Jack Daniels and down it... i just wanna be numb and lay there and not believe this is real- its not happening.. i'm not a loser in the game of love- and he loves me like i love him- god how i wish that was true - can't get my heart wrapped around this like my head is....will it ever go away? will i ever stop looking for him out my window- when i see a car like his - when will i stop looking at the license plate to see if its from illinois? when i see someone who looks like him or a laugh like his- when will i stop wanting to run in that direction and look for him? why does this cut me so deeply? why do i have dreams of him and why do i miss seeing him smoke, the way he holds his cigarette? why do i fall so hard when i do give my heart away- only given it twice in my life and i can't seem to pick up this shattered heart...... yes i'm babbling people- but i have no local friends to babble to- they are too wrapped up in their own problems- so sorry i have to do it over the net....

deleted_user 04/21/2008

My heart is breaking for you hun. I love that "sometimes two hearts just can't dance to the same beat." That sums it all up. hugs xxx

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

i feel like the wedding singer when he starts singing and he is like - "somebody shoot me in the head!!!!!!!" thats me...

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

i can't sleep, today i've started just drinking coffee and water- not eating and i feel like i can't breathe without him- how can u get past that- how can u love someone so much- i looked into his eyes and i know he cares for me- and its true i would've lived in a cardboard box with him- i was / am that devoted- but i know i have to move past this if i am ever goin to have a relationship that i don't screw up with talking about him- i've never been good at surrendering and i feel like thats what my heart is doing- its surrendering and it doesn't want to wave that flag- it wants to beat just for him ...

deleted_user 04/21/2008

Hun, you cannot control your feelings, they just come, it is impossible. You can only control the thoughts and behaviors that come with those feelings & it takes a lot of work. Matters of the heart are the WOSRT.

I am so sorry for your pain. But it is necessary to not try and stifle those feelings no matter how painful they are; that will only make you sicker and delay the healing process.

So while your heart is broken, find "bandaids" to get you through this. Your heart will slowly began to heal & be ready for love again. Take this time to take care of yourself & in time, you will be not only healed but better! xxx

deleted_user 04/21/2008

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

thank u so much for ur kind words and support- i just hope people don't get tired of me posting about my feelings about him- i get the feeling sometimes people doubt my devotion to this man- but its true- if i had to stay under a bridge with him i would- just being in his arms would make me happy- i miss everything about him- i wish for all the annoying things- like getting up in the middle of the night to play skip bo, orange coke- and the way he hated that i didn't call it soda... the way he held his cigarettes/the way he said my name/ our little arguments/ i remember each and every conversation/ our walks together/ he never could look me in the eyes and say he doesn't love me- and thats the part that hurts the most is knowing we are both out there thinking of each other and yet we cant be together and work this out no matter how badly we both want to.....

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

i wanna go to Belle Rive and take pics of the place and the streets and tell myself this is for real Brandi- cause i feel like i'm in a never ending nightmare and always will be... it won't stop- i have my water beside me- atleast i'll lose some weight from not eating- don't need to eat... i did this last time we broke up too- didn't eat for 2 months i was fine- and i'll be fine again- i just can't focus on anything but that damn face and i want to stroke his hair and hug him and just be in those arms! stop it heart! stop making me feel this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

:( darn tears streaming down my face- stop stop stop stop!

deleted_user 04/21/2008

mY WHOLE HEART JUST BREAKS FOR YOU BRANDI, OH HOW I WISH I COULD TAKE SOME OF THE PAIN AND PUT IT ON MY OWN SHOULDERS FOR YOU. YOU DONT DESERVE IT. THE NIGHTMARES WILL END ONE DAY, HANG ON TO HOPE MY DEAR FRIEND I AM ALWAYS WITH YOU.
J

deleted_user 04/21/2008

brandi i am so sorry you are hurting so badly i wish there was something i could do to help you please just know that you have friends here that love you and are here to support you. don't worry about if others get tired of reading what you post if they do then they just don;t have to read it. hang in there please and just know that you are loved. love and hugs donna e

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

Thank you so much Jill just knowing u are there helps so much more than u know..... i just want this to all be a nightmare and to wake up in his arms- but i have to stop thinking this way- this week is forcing me to see it as real.......

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